Of Crows and Doves I
by The Mad Hattress
Summary: Rated R for yuri, drug abuse, swearing, homicide, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and one sexually explicit chapter. It's a Seiya/Yaten AU fic. Mainly centered around 'drug society'.
1. Shades of Darkness, Glimmers of Light

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 1 of ??   
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Kitty Valium  
Author's Notes: Sure. This is fluff. Something I like to call 'Junkie Fluff'. Had to attract you people somehow. Teehee. *Evil*  
___________________  
  
'You took our lives away,   
To increase your self esteem.   
An underlie in the public eye.   
Your dubbed insane if and when you try to   
Speak your mind..'  
  
~Incubus, "Speak Free"  
___________________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 1: Shades of Darkness, Glimmers of Light  
  
___________________  
  
"Kou-chan, what are you staring at…? You've been staring out the window for a while now." Yaten sighed and continued absently playing with a lock of hair.   
  
"Nothing, Okaasan…" Yaten muttered the response more than she said it out loud. Her eyes scanned the area. "Okaasan, how did we end up downtown…?" Yaten turned to her mother who was driving slowly.  
  
"We're bringing you to school. You only have a half-day, Kou-chan. You can survive. You weren't that sick. " Yaten rolled her eyes and turned her head to stare out the window again. She blinked. There was someone significant who was now utterly useless. Yaten sighed.   
  
"What a shame." Yaten shook her head and kept her eyes on the raven-haired girl who was clad in nothing but black. Secretive looking. The only spot of color she had on her was the red bandana around her upper arm. She looked quite young, and it made Yaten wonder why she would be on the streets at her age. Yaten heard her mother growl low in her throat. "Okaasan…?"  
  
"Why don't these people go home or get a job or SOMETHING?" Yaten sighed and shook her head. Just another day.  
  
----------------------------  
  
"And as a homework assignment, class, you must read text pages one hundred twenty through one hundred twenty-five. And then you are urged to answer the questions on page one hundred twenty-six." Yaten didn't take in a word her instructor was saying. She just rested her head on her palm and tapped her pencil against her notebook. She glanced at the clock, and her eyes lit up. "Class, you are dismissed." Yaten threw her books in her school bag and practically ran out the classroom door.  
  
"Finally. Kami-sama, that was the longest half-day of my life." Yaten burst through the school doors and looked around. "Where's Okaasan…? Don't tell me she forgot to pick me up again…" She groaned and stomped her foot, ignoring the crowd of girls behind her who were trying to catch her attention. "She always forgets!" She sighed and began walking home.  
  
Yaten walked through the downtown area, looking around. She suddenly felt quite alone. Yaten swallowed her pride for once, and walked a little faster, in a hurry to get out of there.   
  
"FUCK! God damn it! You asshole, watch where you're going!" Yaten jerked her head to the left to the profanity.   
  
"That girl…" Yaten muttered to herself. The unmistakable raven black hair, deep midnight blue eyes, red bandana, and the still young face. The girl turned her head and stared at Yaten. "Oh no… Look what I got myself into…"   
  
"Who are you? What do you want?" Those midnight blue eyes skimmed over Yaten. "You certainly don't look like a druggy. Nor a gangster…"   
  
Yaten shakily drew in a breath. "My name is Yaten Kou… I'm just walking home from school… I don't mean to bother you in any fashion…" She stepped back when she saw a smirk on the girl's face.  
  
"Another Kou, eh…? My name really shouldn't be given out to random people. But what the hell? My name is Seiya Kou." Yaten blinked and couldn't really help what spilled out of her mouth.  
  
"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at home or at school or something?"  
  
Seiya laughed lightly. "I was kicked out of home. I dropped out of school. And as for why I'm here…" Seiya put her hand in the black, trench coat's pocket and pulled out a syringe filled with a clear liquid. "I abuse the use of illegal drugs." Yaten stared into the syringe. It looked like water to her. Not an illegal drug.   
  
"W-What is that…? It looks like nothing but water."  
  
Seiya laughed. "You're so pure and innocent. You wanna know what it is? Why don't you try it? It's called heroin, my friend. Don't schools teach students ANYTHING these days?" Yaten shook her head. Heroin didn't leave any good affects. That's one thing she knew. Seiya dropped the syringe back into her pocket. "How old are you anyway?"  
  
"I'm sixteen…"  
  
"I just turned sixteen two months ago." Seiya began walking to Yaten slowly, and to Yaten she looked like a cheetah ready to pounce on its prey. She stopped right in front of Yaten, grabbed her chin, and jerked it up so she was staring into her pale, neon green eyes. "Little school girls shouldn't be in this area. You'll get killed. You'll get raped. Or you'll get mixed up with 'bad people' like me. I suggest you leave. And if we ever meet again, I wont be so gentle on you…"  
  
"H-Hai…" Seiya jerked her hand away from Yaten's chin. "Demo… Answer me one thing, wont you?" She waited until Seiya nodded. "You're so pretty… Why are you slowly killing yourself?" Yaten lifted a hand and ran her fingers through Seiya's hair. Seiya growled and shoved Yaten away roughly.   
  
"Don't touch me! If I was so beautiful and had a glorious air around me, I wouldn't be where I am. Now get out of here!" Yaten could see anger flaring in Seiya's eyes.  
  
"Gomen nasai." Yaten quickly got to her feet, grabbed her school bag, and began running. Seiya stared after her, with a smirk on her face.  
  
"I'm looking forward to meeting you again, little school girl…" Seiya turned away, and began walking down the street. "But until then…"  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ja ne, minna-san! Review please! ^_^  
  
  



	2. The Beginning of Sweet Torture

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 2 of ___ (Let me wait to fill in the blank…)  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Angel Xtremes  
Author's Notes: ^.^; I'm baaaaaaaack… Oh yes. Seiya's little druggy friends refer to her as 'Lady Caine'  
___________________  
  
'Death  
Is what I am  
Go to hell  
Go to jail  
  
In back of that  
Crime  
  
Here I am  
Take a chance  
Dead  
  
Die'  
  
~Nirvana, "Endless, Nameless"  
______________________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 2: The beginning of Sweet Torture  
  
______________________  
  
  
Yaten stared absently at the clock in the classroom. The day before disturbed her deep inside. She was praying in her head that her mother would've taken a lunch break to pick her up from school. Yaten shook her head and began packing her books before the bell rang.  
  
  
---------------------------------  
  
  
Seiya checked her watch. "Only ten more minutes. I better get going if I wanna catch up with the little school girl." She turned and began walking down the street, her hair flowing behind her.  
  
"Hey, Lady Caine! Where're you going…?!" Seiya looked back to the relatively tall, teenage boy who was flailing a joint. Seiya growled and shook her head slowly.  
  
"Don't smoke that now, X. I need you and that joint when I get back, and I can't have you high off your ass!" At that, she shoved her hands in her pockets, looked forward, and began walking in the direction of Yaten's school.  
  
  
---------------------------------  
  
  
Yaten sighed and got up of her seat. "Please, Kami-sama, please. I need Okaasan here to pick me up…" She walked out of the classroom, and numbly walking down the halls. Several of her friends trailed behind her, remaining silent. Yaten put on a forced smile, and turned to her friends. "Why are you so worried about me?"  
  
"You're acting all jittery, and-" Yaten didn't take the time to listen to it. She shook her head and walked out the school doors, leaving a group of confused girls behind her. Yaten looked around, only to find midnight blue eyes staring at her. "…Seiya…" Seiya smirked.  
  
"I'm surprised you remember me."  
  
"How could I possibly forget?" Yaten snapped back in a rather sarcastic voice. Seiya scowled, and Yaten just realized the mistake she had made. Yaten was frozen still as Seiya began making her way toward Yaten. "What do you want, Seiya?"   
  
"You're coming with me." Seiya grabbed Yaten's arm and began dragging her down the sidewalk, earning odd looks from the students waiting for their parents to pick them up.   
  
"Let me go…!" Yaten tried jerking her arm arm, but Seiya had a vice grip on it.   
  
"I'm not going to let you go. Stop squirming like a worm on a hook." Yaten stopped and began walking at Seiya's pace. She simply didn't like the darkness in her voice. Seiya turned into an alleyway, turning her head to look behind herself.   
  
"Yo… X, are you here?" Yaten blinked. Seiya was trying to see through the shade of the buildings.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I'm here." Yaten stared at the teenage boy, carefully skimming her eyes over him. He lifted an eyebrow, "Who the HELL is that?" Seiya snickered.  
  
"She's my 'friend', X." Seiya held her palm out and the boy put the lit joint in her hand. She smirked coldly and turned to Yaten. "Yaten-chan…" Yaten's eyes widened and she began squirming. Seiya growled, shoved Yaten against the wall with one hand, and shoved the end of the joint in Yaten's mouth with the other. "Inhale." Yaten felt salty tears in the corners of her eyes as she inhaled. Seiya pulled the joint out of Yaten's mouth and laughed.   
  
"That's so vile…" Yaten choked out between coughs. Seiya smirked coldly.  
  
"Innocent little dove will get corrupted by this beautiful crow."  
  
  
_________________________  
  
^.~ See ya next time, minna-san! 


	3. A Beginning of a Journey Through the Str...

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 3 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Angel Xtremes  
Author's Notes: *Yawn* My third chapter. Next week, school starts. *BAWLS!* That means I can't write as often. ;.; But don't you worry! I won't disappear. ^.~ Anyway, starred(*) words have little side notes on the bottom.  
__________________  
  
'I tried so hard,  
And got so far,  
But in the end,  
It doesn't even matter,  
I had to fall,  
To lose it all,  
But in the end,  
It doesn't even matter'  
  
~Linkin Park, "In the End"  
___________________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 3: A Beginning of a Journey Through the Streets  
___________________  
  
Yaten looked up numbly at Seiya, panting. "Nani…?" She heard Seiya's cold laugh ring through her ears and winced inwardly. Seiya shoved the end of the joint in Yaten's mouth again.  
  
"Inhale, little school girl. One inhale isn't gonna get you high." Yaten inhaled it again, and tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. Seiya pulled it out of her mouth. "Hold it in." Yaten did as she was told, almost afraid of what would happen if she didn't.   
  
"Jesus, Lady Caine, aren't you being a little harsh on the poor girl?" Seiya smirked and turned to X.   
  
"X, when you're on a mission to truly corrupt someone, being 'harsh' doesn't matter." Seiya turned her attention back to Yaten. "Stop being an idiot, Yaten, let it out gradually." Yaten numbly parted her lips and let out a stream of smoke.  
  
"I… I… can't feel… my body… Oh, Kami-sama…" Yaten closed her eyes and swallowed hard. Seiya snorted.  
  
"You may numb, but damn it, two, may one, more inhales and you'll be giggling and laughing all over the place." Yaten grabbed Seiya's wrist to try and push her away, but she felt too numb, too weak to fight her away.  
  
"Please… Stop…" Seiya jerked her wrist away and shoved the tip of the joint back into Yaten's mouth. She inhaled gently, making the teasing, tingling feeling in her lungs a little less, and kept it in. Yaten cracked her eyes open when Seiya pulled the joint away. Yaten let it out the smoke and stood up straight. Seiya narrowed her eyes.  
  
"Feel a little better…?" Yaten nodded, and quirked her lips into a grin. "Woah… X, she's really wasted…"  
  
"No shit, Sherlock." X rolled his eyes. "It's her first time getting high. She's gonna have a low tolerance."  
  
Seiya growled. "You think I didn't know what? God, you can be su- Eh?" Seiya blinked when she felt a soft, pale hand on her own.  
  
"Just one more time…" Yaten grabbed the joint and jerked it from in between Seiya's fingers. Seiya's eyes widened slightly as Yaten put the tip up to her lips and inhaled gently.  
  
"At least it wasn't cocaine*…" Seiya muttered to herself dully. Yaten took the joint out of her mouth, slowly blowing out the smoke. Seiya stared at her numbly as she took the joint from Yaten's fingers. "You're almost scaring me."  
  
"Arigatou…" Yaten mumbled, picked up her school bag, and wobbly walked out of the alley way and up the street.  
  
"Hey, wait! Yaten!" Seiya shouted, digging into her pocket and pulling out a couple of cartridges. "Take these! They'll get you really high, really fast!" Yaten walked back to Seiya and grabbed them.   
  
"What are they…?"  
  
"They're called 'whippets'*. Just snap 'em open and inhale." Seiya smirked as Yaten's eyes practically lit up.  
  
"Arigatou…!" Seiya watched as Yaten put the cartridges in her school back and began running home.  
  
"Well… She obviously enjoyed being high..." X began slowly  
  
"Shut up, X. Tell me. Heroin*, cocaine, or PCP*?" Seiya shoved the tip of the joint in her mouth, nd turned to X.  
  
"…You ARE evil, Lady Caine. Don't you think PCP is a little bad for a beginner? Go with ketamine if you're gonna put her on a hallucinogen. Just go with heroin to make life easy." X muttered, and then starred at the joint that was almost all gone. "Hey, damn it! I bought that marijuana…! You owe me twenty dollars…!" Seiya took the joint out of her mouth, blew out a stream of smoke, and laughed.  
  
"Sorry, X. I have my own heroin. I don't need you tomorrow." X sighed and rolled his eyes.   
  
"It's so like you to use people for their drugs. Or sex. Or alcohol, or whatever the hell you want." At that, he walked away. Seiya snickered and took out a cigarette.   
  
"You're just mad because I used your weed."  
  
---------------------------  
  
"Okaasan, I'm home…!" Yaten throw her school bag down, and was giggling to herself. She kicked off her shoes in an ungraceful fashion.  
  
"Kou-chan…" Yaten's mother stared at her. "You're awfully happy-grinny. Something happen in school that you're so happy about?" Yaten lifted an eyebrow, but kept grinning.  
  
"Nothing happened, Okaasan. I'm just in a GLORIOUS mood." Yaten ran upstairs to her room.  
  
_____________________  
  
The starred stuff or 'Icy Blade's Learning Corner':  
  
1. ) Cocaine is a colorless or white crystalline alkaloid that comes from the coca leaf. Cocaine has been used in South America for more than 3,000 years and in the United States since the 19th century in a variety of forms: coca leaves, coca paste, powder cocaine, and cocaine base (ex:freebase and crack cocaine). It's usually snorted. However, it is highly addictive. In the drug categories, it is a stimulant.   
  
2.) Heroin is a white, odorless, bitter crystalline compound. It's derived from morphine (morphia for all you technical people). Heroin, an illegal opiate drug known on the street as smack, junk, brown sugar, dope, Big H, is manufactured in remote laboratories using rudimentary equipment which presses the powder into bricks for bulk shipment to destination countries like the United States. Smaller amounts are smuggled by couriers who swallow heroin-filled latex balloons before boarding commercial airlines.   
  
  
3.) PCP is short for 'phencyclidine'. It was used as an anesthetic, but due to the bizarre and strong hallucinogenic affects, they stopped using it. In 1978, due to considerable abuse phencyclidine was transferred to CSA Schedule II. Today, virtually all of the phencyclidine encountered on the illicit market in the U.S. is produced in clandestine laboratories.  
  
4.) Ketamine is a general anesthetic and used in minor surgical operations. Druggies from the streets got their hands on it, and is now used widely as a cheap hallucinogen.   
  
5.) Whippets are nitrous oxide cartridges you twist or snap open and snort. Nitrous oxide is an odorless, sweeter tasting gas. It's usually used as an anesthetic in dentistry or regular surgery. Nitrous oxide is commonly referred to as 'laughing gas'. Illegally, it is used as an inhalant, and manages to get you really high off your ass.  
  
______________________  
  
*Sips her tea* Stay tuned… And be patient... The yuri part is coming soon.... 


	4. Blood, Numbness, and the Rush

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 4 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder has made it way to the list, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Angel Xtremes  
Author's Notes: *Yawn* Um, yeah. I have this big ass headache. As if you wanted to know. Chapter 3 was more of a teaser I suppose. *Shrugs* Whatever. Again, starred crap is explained at the bottom. Hiroko is Yaten's little sister in this fic, though she's only mentioned for a sec. ^_^;;; And I mentioned Taiki once. She had her moment of fame in this fic.  
----------  
'I think god is moving its tongue,  
There are no crowds in the streets,  
And no sun in my own summer.  
  
The shade is a tool, a device, a savior,  
See, I try and look up to the sky,  
But my eyes burn.'  
  
~Deftones, "My Own Summer (Shove It)"  
----------  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 4: Blood, Numbness, and the Rush  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yaten sat up in bed, and glanced at her clock. 6 o'clock in the morning. "Oh Kami-sama… My head… I feel like a truck just hit me…" She glanced over and eyed the empty whippet cartridges next to her bed. Yaten shook her head and sighed. "What am I doing?" She picked up the cartridges gingerly, opening her nightstand drawer and placing them there. She glanced at the other unused cartridge. "Not now…" Yaten stood up from her bed, wobbling a bit. She opened the door and walked out of her room numbly. "Okaasan…" Yaten mother looked up from where she was making breakfast.  
  
"Kou-chan, you look horrible." She gave her daughter a concerned look. "Do you want to stay home today, you look really bad…" Yaten smiled weakly.  
  
"I'm fine, Okaasan. Really. I need to see… someone" Yaten walked into the kitchen and plopped into one of the chairs. Yaten's mother handed her a cup of tea and glanced at the clock.   
  
"Sweetie, you need to hurry up and get ready or else you'll be late for school, and I need to leave a little early to drop off Hiroko at daycare because her babysitter can't make it today." Yaten sighed, downed the rest of her tea, and grumbled a quick 'okay'. She stood up from her seat, and walked to the bathroom. She stared at her reflection for a moment.  
  
"I'm such a fuck up."  
  
  
------  
  
"Look, you asshole, I need more fuckin' heroin! I don't have enough for two people!"   
  
"G-Gomen n-n-nasai, Lady C-Caine… I don't have anymore…!" The tall, pale, violet eyed, auburn-haired girl was pressed against a brick wall. Seiya chuckled evilly.   
  
"I'll ask you one more time, Crystal Meth*, give me heroin." Seiya was smirking, and at that moment, the girl knew she was going to do something. "Give me heroin or I have two options for you…"   
  
"W-What are those options, Lady Caine?" Crystal Meth raised a slender hand and used her long fingers to push back her long bangs. Seiya smirked and pulled out a gun from the inside of her trench coat.  
  
"I could kill you. Because after all, Crystal Meth, you are useless. Or since I know your real name, Taiki Kou, I could report you to the police." Crystal Meth's breath hitched in her throat. "Make your choice."   
  
"I meant it, Lady Caine! I don't have any he-!" Seiya growled and pulled the trigger, alarming several people around her. Seiya stepped to the side, as Crystal Meth fell to her knees and began coughing up blood.   
  
"And to think you were a highly respected drug dealer." Seiya smirked coldly. "I enjoyed that beautiful moment of cheap sex, what was it? Two nights ago?" She chuckled low in her throat. "You've disappointed me for the last time, Crystal Meth. Taiki Kou. Sayonara." She lowered her gun to the back of Crystal Meth's head. "See you in hell." Seiya pulled the trigger one more time. Gangsters and several drug addicts were staring at her, and slightly shrunken back. Seiya gave them all an icy glare, and they went back to what they were doing. She picked up the bloody, limp body and put it down in a dark alley corner. She walked away leaving bloody footprints behind.   
  
  
--------  
  
  
The day seemed longer than usual. Everybody seemed to be going in slow motion. At least for Yaten Kou. People were flooding the halls in a rush to get home, but it all seemed so dull. So plain. So slow. Yaten walked out of the school, only to be greeted by midnight blue eyes starring into her pale green eyes. "Seiya!" Seiya lifted an eyebrow.  
  
"I'm going to give you a street name. And you are to call me 'Lady Caine'. Understood?" Seiya waited for Yaten to nod. She smirked. "Here, kitty. I have lots to show you." Seiya watched as Yaten hesitated for a moment before walking toward her. "I will call you Lime Acid*." Seiya turned and began walking up the street with Yaten walking beside her. "Feel privileged, man, I'm letting you in my house." Yaten lifted her eyes.  
  
"I thought you simply live on the streets."  
  
"When you're a drug dealer and a babysitter*, you're far from poor, my friend. Except I share the place with two other junkies." Seiya grabbed Yaten's arm and turned onto a street. "You are to tell NOBODY about this place, understand?" Yaten nodded quickly, as Seiya practically dragged Yaten up the front steps. "And if you do, I will have your head hanging off of a string." Seiya swung the front door open, and the first thing Yaten noticed was the stench. Hey eyes stung for a moment.  
  
"What is that smell…?" Seiya smirked, but Yaten was holding her hands over her nose.  
  
"Crack cocaine*" Seiya muttered it, more than she said it straight out loud. Yaten was staring at the two druggies that were seated on the couch. She recognized one, but the other looked stern and deadpan. "You've seen X* before… But the other guy is referred to as Dragon Tears*." Seiya didn't take the time to talk to them nor allow Yaten to say a word. She grabbed Yaten's arm and began walking up the stairs. "And for the sake of my utter paranoia, I'll say this again. Nobody is to know about this place." Yaten nodded and Seiya opened the door to one of the bedrooms.   
  
"…It's clean…" Yaten didn't know drug addicts had civil cleaning abilities. Seiya shoved Yaten into her room, walked in, and shut the door behind her.   
  
"Sit." Yaten sat on Seiya's bed, looking up at the raven-haired beauty searching through her drawers. "You have three choices…" Yaten nodded, although she wasn't quite sure of what she was talking about. "Inject it, smoke it, or snort it?" Yaten blinked.  
  
"What exactly would I be taking…?"   
  
"Well… I would give you morphine* or methadone*, but heroin is just so much more entertaining." Seiya took out two syringes, a razor, a straw*, and a glass pipe, along with a bottle of liquid, a bag of powder. Yaten stared for a moment, not quite sure of what she was getting herself into. She swallowed hard, trying to force the rising curiosity down. Though she failed.  
  
"I-Injection…" Seiya smirked and picked up one of the syringes she had filled while Yaten was making her decision.   
  
"Injection. You will feel something called a 'rush'*. Since it's your first time, you will feel tipsy afterwards. However, by tomorrow it's likely you will be suffering of withdrawal*" Yaten nodded numbly as she held her arm out. Seiya tenderly pressed down on her inner elbow for a moment. Yaten took in a sharp breath as Seiya quickly took her fingers away and injected the needle into Yaten's vein. "Have fun." Seiya pressed down on the syringe, injecting the heroin into Yaten's vein. She quickly retracted the needle, stood up and watched Yaten. Any second now.  
  
Only 3 seconds later did Yaten bend over, repeating that she was numb. Seiya smirked. Yaten smiled weakly, not sure why. Maybe it was the numbness, maybe it was the adrenaline surging through her blood. Yaten sat up and leaned against Seiya's wall, gasping for air and holding her hand over her heart. "I've never felt such things before… Oh good lord… I feel like I'm sitting on air…" Seiya lifted an eyebrow.  
  
"Sitting on air…? Is that a purpose spin off of 'walking on air'?" Seiya chuckled. This was humorous. Yaten smiled lazy, still shakily taking in large breaths of air. Seiya blinked when Yaten got up and started pacing, babbling something.   
  
"Lady Caine, why don't you follow me to the planet with liquid skies?* We can do so many things there that we can't do here! "  
  
Seiya shook her head and laughed and she dug through her pocket and pulled out a pill with an imprint of smiley face on it. She put it in her mouth and swallowed it. MDMA* simply drown out the pointless chattering, as Seiya lazily eyed Yaten.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Mmmm… Welcome back to Icy Blade's Learning Corner...  
  
  
1.) 'Crystal Meth' is slang for methamphetamine.  
  
2.) 'Lime Acid' is slang for LSD.  
  
3.) In a drug sense, to be a 'babysitter' means you teach people how to use a drug and get paid for it.  
  
4.) Crack cocaine is chemically altered cocaine. It's very potent and is in the form of a pellet, that people call 'rocks' or 'stones'. Crack is smoked in a glass pipe, and the reason people call it 'crack' is because of the cracking sounds it makes while being smoked. It's very potent and very addictive.  
  
5.) Ah, yes. 'X'. One of Seiya's druggy pals. I forgot to mention 'X' in the last fic. Look at note #13 and you'll know the slang for 'X'.  
  
6.) 'Dragon Tears' is slang for LSD.  
  
7.) I'm sure you've all heard of morphine. Morphine consists of 5%-25% of opium, and it's a bitter crystalline alkaloid. The color ranges from white to dark brown in powder form. Being it is a narcotic it IS addictive, and tolerance can build up. Heroin is derived from morphine, and morphine was originally created to treat opium addiction. It is now used as an anesthetic or sedative. Thought it is used illegally.  
  
8.) Methadone is not chemically alike to morphine or heroin. German scientists in WW2 created it due to the shortage of morphine. However, it is still used today to treat narcotic (mainly heroin) addiction. But since it is a narcotic itself in nature, addiction and tolerance can build up, causes the narcotic abuser to go from opium/morphine/heroin/dilaudid/codeine addiction to simply methadone addiction.  
  
9.) Why a straw you ask? Because snorting a powdered drug with simply your nose can get messy. So, they shove a straw up their nose and sniff the drug through the straw instead.  
  
10.) A 'rush' is created by how fast the heroin goes into your brain. A heroin rush can happen within seconds of taking it. You get a stronger rush by injection, though snorting it is just as good. Smoking the heroin takes minutes to feel a rush.  
  
11.) Heroin withdrawal isn't… fun. Withdrawal symptoms include tearing, runny nose, sweating, dilated pupils, loss of appetite, gooseflesh, restlessness, muscle tremors, weakness, insomnia, nausea, vomiting, cramps, and diarrhea. The symptoms appear within 24 to 36 hours of the dosage.   
  
12.) That line was taken from one of my favorite trance songs. Tee hee.  
  
13.) And last but not least, MDMA. MDMA is an acronym for methyldioxymethamphetamine. Or, as drug abusers call it 'ecstasy', 'XTC', or 'X'. MDMA is chemically related to amphetamine and mescaline (peyote), and is used illicitly for its euphoric and hallucinogenic effects. It has been banned in the U.S., and it commonly used at raves to keep the dancers up all night.   
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
*Falls to the floor twitching* Heeeeeeead paaaaaaaaain..... Reviews? Owww... *Goes in search of Advil* 


	5. Destroying a Dove, Ressurecting a Crow

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 5 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Angel Xtremes  
Author's Notes: WTF? Is it me or are there fewer options in the author's section now…? FF.net is like, suffering of mental shut down or something. Can you believe I need to pay just for services in the author's section that were free? -.-;;; Grrrr… Anyway, this chapter five! Nothing real exiting though… *Yawn* Fluff. Dark fluff. It's short.   
______________  
'Breathe the pressure,  
Come play my game I'll test ya.  
Psychosomatic addict, insane.  
Breathe the pressure,  
Come play my game I'll test ya.  
Psychosomatic addict, insane.  
  
Come play my game.  
Inhale, inhale, you're the victim.  
Come play my game.  
Exhale, exhale, exhale.'  
  
~Prodigy, "Breathe"  
_______________  
  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 5: Killing a Dove, Resurrecting a Crow  
  
_______________  
  
Seiya paused for a moment to look over at the silver haired girl that was groaning and sitting up with a hand to her head. "Seiya…?" Yaten cracked open her eyes, and took in a breath of air. Yaten's eyes widened as she ran to Seiya's trash can and puked. Seiya snickered.   
  
"Ohayou gozaimasu, Lime Acid. I see you're having a lovely morning so far. And you've only been awake for a damn minute." Seiya laughed when Yaten glared at her harshly. Yaten spit one final time into the garbage. Seiya scowled. "Tie the damn bag up. I don't want my room smelling like shit." Yaten sighed and tied the bag.  
  
"I need to call Okaasan…" Yaten muttered, followed by an exasperated sigh. Seiya lifted an eyebrow.  
  
"Mama's girl, huh? Give it a rest. God, Lime Acid, don't be so paranoid. You'll be home by…" Seiya glanced at her clock. Ten o'clock wasn't bad. "You'll be home by three o'clock, all right? She doesn't know you were getting wasted. Just say you slept over some friend's house. Just don't say 'Seiya Kou'. Say you slept over Takasuka Kyoko's house." Seiya turned her concentration back to the powder she was neatly putting into neat rows with a razor. Yaten eyed Seiya.  
  
"How do you know Kyo-chan…? " Yaten skimmed her eyes over the neat rows of whitish-tan powder. "And what's that…?" Seiya smirked.  
  
"Kyoko paid me fifty dollars to guide her through her first crack experience. And as for that," Seiya motioned towards the powder. "It's cocaine." Yaten shifted her eyes from the cocaine to Seiya's eyes.   
  
"Don't do it…" Seiya blinked, looked over Yaten's expression and burst out laughing. "I mean it… don't do it…"  
  
"Too bad, Lime Acid. When I want it, I HAVE to have it." Seiya glanced at Yaten before picking up the straw on her desk. Yaten's eyes widened and she leaped onto Seiya, holding her wrists.   
  
"STOP! PLEASE!" Yaten looked into Seiya's eyes mournfully, pleading to stop. Seiya frowned, and glared harshly at Yaten.  
  
"Why do you even care?!" Yaten bit her lip, still keeping a vice-like grip on her wrists.   
  
"B-Because I have… this feeling… for you… Something like love…" Seiya stopped squirming in Yaten's grip. She growled and narrowed her eyes.  
  
"You fag." Yaten's eyes widened as Seiya jerked her wrists away from Yaten's hands and shoved Yaten off her lap. She looked down at the pale girl with a dark expression on her face. "You barely know me." Seiya picked her gun up from the table and pointed it at Yaten. "How the hell can you say you love me?" Yaten just stared, wide eyed. That was not the reaction she was expecting.  
  
"You mean more than you put yourself out to be." Yaten stared at Seiya with a soft expression on her face. "As a matter of fact, I think that deep inside, this isn't the life you want." Seiya began lowering her gun.  
  
"You barely know me…" Seiya didn't understand. She never felt this way before. She could shoot Yaten. Right there. She looked frail and innocent.   
  
"Don't you have any piece of mind? Don't you feel the slightest bit guilty? For what you do to others… and for what you do to yourself?" Yaten felt like crying almost. She hated to see important people to her hurt themselves. Seiya dropped her gun, and numbly put her arms to her sides.   
  
"I won't change…"  
  
"You don't have to. I'm not saying that, but please s-"  
  
"I won't stop anything, I won't change anything. Respect me, and I will respect you." Seiya smirked. "Precious, little dove…" Yaten stood up slowly. "If you want to earn my 'love' in return, you must die, and come back to life as a crow. A beautiful crow. Not something pure and innocent such as a dove." Yaten chewed on her lip, staring into Seiya's eyes. She hesitated slightly before nodding. Seiya smirked. "So be it." Seiya reached out and grabbed Yaten's arm, pulling her close. "You can be mine, and I will be yours if you simply kill yourself and wake up the next day as someone slightly different." Seiya wrapped an arm around Yaten's waist and ran her fingers through Yaten's silvery hair with her other hand.  
  
"Hai…" Yaten didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around Seiya's waist and rested her cheek on Seiya's chest. She closed her eyes, taking in the sounds and smells around her. The intoxicating smell of cherry blossoms* and marijuana mixed together. The chirping birds outside almost made the world seem perfect. And Seiya's fingers running through her hair made her feel more relaxed. Yaten purred gently, snuggling against Seiya. "Aishiteru… My beautiful crow*…"  
  
"Yeah… I love you too…" Seiya chewed her lip, worry clouding her eyes, and she twirled a lock of Yaten's hair around her index finger. Yaten let out a small sigh, her muscles starting to ache and tremble. As her stomach began to feel as if it were tied up in knots, she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.   
  
  
_______________________  
  
1.) Why cherry blossoms? I have no clue. Just some random thing I like I suppose... ^^;  
  
2.) I got an e-mail asking why I make the dove and crow referrals. Let me explain. They're symbolic.   
  
---The dove represents holiness, innocents, gentleness, purity, angels, and a basic sign of life, love and happiness.  
  
---The crow is usually a referral to Satanism, violence, corruption, death, the devil, and it's a basic sign of death, hate and misery.   
________________________  
  
Question to think about: Is it really love?  
________________________  
  
*YAAAAAAAAAAAAWN* It sucks. I know. I'm trying to get over this goddamned writers block, you see. So everything I'm writing sucks, or it's twisted. O.o And I'll be damned if there aren't any typos in this chapter. x.x;;  



	6. I'll See You When The Sun Sets

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 6 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, shounen-ai, drug abuse, swearing, murder, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Angel Xtremes  
Author's Notes: EPM-san, *silly grin* arigatou for all your reviews, man. And for you, EPM, I'm clearing up your 'split personality' theory at the bottom of the page. And to everybody, keep reading and reviewing! ^.~  
________________  
'There's a mass without roofs,  
A prison to fill,  
There's a country's soul that reads post no bills.  
There's a strike and a line of cops outside of the mill,  
There's a right to obey,  
And a right to kill.'  
  
~Rage Against the Machine, "Calm Like A Bomb"  
_________________  
  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 6: I'll See You When the Sun Sets  
  
_________________  
  
"Oi… Lime Acid. Wake up." Seiya shook Yaten a little harder.  
  
"Eh…?" Yaten cracked her eyes open, taking in the daylight. She let out a deep sigh and wiped the sweat* from her forehead. Yaten looked at Seiya's pale face, and found a trace of a smile on her lips. "What time is it…?"  
  
"Time for you to go home. It's 2:30. If we leave now, you'll make it home by 3." Seiya rolled her heavy black sleeve down over her watch, and looked back at Yaten, who was staring at her. Seiya lifted an eyebrow. "What are you staring at?" Yaten shook her head and stood up, stretching. She looked into Seiya's mirror. She noted her pale, now clammy skin, the bags under her eyes, her dilated pupils*.  
  
"I look like SHIT." Yaten grabbed a tissue from Seiya's dresser and wiped her face, trying to rid it of the sweat. But her face still remained clammy. She growled low in her throat and slammed her hands down on the dresser. "Damnit!" Seiya rolled her eyes and groaned.  
  
"I must have given you the higher purity* heroin. It's so obvious. You've got the 'heroin chic' look."   
  
"Whatever." Yaten grabbed her school bag off of Seiya's floor. "I need to start going home now." Yaten began walking out of Seiya's room, muttering to herself. Seiya's eyes widened.  
  
"Holy shit. She got really fucked up." Seiya scrambled out of her chair, and jogged after Yaten who was already halfway down the stairs. Yaten moaned and put a hand to her head, beginning to wobble. Once Seiya was behind Yaten, she scooped Yaten up in her arms.   
  
"I'm not a baby. You can put me down."   
  
"Shut up, would you? Jesus Christ. You don't have to be such a bitch." X blinked and glanced at Seiya and Yaten from where he was playing cards with Dragon Tears. Dragon Tears shifted his eyes to the two girls as well, lifting an eyebrow. Seiya glared at them and practically growled out her statement. "Someone get off their lazy ASS and open the door for me." X sweat dropped, scrambled to his feet in an ungraceful manner, and ran to the door. He swung it open, and grumbled.  
  
"You can be a real pain in the ass." Seiya glanced at him and narrowed her eyes from a moment before walking out the door with a scowling Yaten in her arms. X scowled and slammed the door shut.  
  
"Victim of the queen, eh?" Dragon Tears snickered.  
  
"As always." X walked back to the coffee table and plopped down. Dragon Tears smirked and brushed his chin-long bangs out of his face.   
  
"You're so cute when you pout." X grinned, leaned over the table, and kissed Dragon Tears tenderly.  
  
"That isn't going to get you out of peeking at my cards, koi." Dragon Tears grunted.  
  
"Damn"*  
  
-------------------------  
  
  
Seiya had decided to put Yaten down, and just have Yaten walk beside her. Seiya sighed and stuck the tip of her cigarette in her mouth, inhaling gently. Yaten glanced at Seiya, smiling slightly. "I'm sorry for before. I don't know what came over me." Seiya lifted and eyebrow took the cigarette out of her mouth, and muttered.  
  
"It's no problem. It's natural." Seiya blew out a trail of smoke from her mouth. Seiya tapped the cigarette's butt with her thumb, sending ashes fluttering to the ground. "And don't smile so often." Seiya stuck the tip of her cigarette back between her lips. Yaten frowned and looked forward, cherishing the wind as it blew through her hair.  
  
Seiya stopped walking, flicked her cigarette on the ground, and stepped on it to put it out. "We part here." Yaten nodded silently. Despite the bright light from the sun, Yaten thought the glossy, black tresses that spilled over Seiya's shoulder resembled darkness and was a beautiful cascade of midnight. Yaten sighed.  
  
"Hai. I'll see you soon..." Yaten remained stern, though her body, mainly her face, made her look weak. Seiya bent down and brushed her lips over Yaten's.  
  
"I'll see you when the sun sets upon this dark downtown neighborhood tomarrow." Seiya turned away from Yaten, and began walking away. Yaten stared at Seiya's back for a moment, before turning around, and walking away with the feelings of burning fire and tingling electricity upon her lips.  
  
__________________  
  
**To the readers (And thank you EPM for actually pointing it out): You may have noticed the personality changes. From Seiya and slightly from Yaten. Drugs shift chemicals in your brain. One minute you might be smiling, and the next you'll be throwing your arms up in exasperation and screaming at the top of your lungs. Heroin, cocaine, LSD, and other drugs that dig their way into your brain at a fast rate usually cause the brain corruption.**  
__________________  
  
Starred Stuff!  
1.) Sweat = Part of heroin withdrawal  
  
2.) Clammy, excessively pale skin, bags under the person's eyes, and dilated pupils are all part of heroin aftermath. Druggies refer to it as the 'heroin chic' look. Another part of this 'heroin chic' look is blank expressions. Except for the blank expressions appear usually if you're a heroin addict...  
  
3.) High purity heroin = longer lasting chick look, and more severe than low purity heroin.  
  
4.) Why did I add a pointless shounen-ai part? I'm in a shounen-ai mood! That's why! I had to make at least SOME people in this story gay! ^___^  
__________________  
  
See ya next time, cowboy. ^.~ Maybe I should make my chapters longer. O.o  
Review and I'll love you forever.  
  
--Icy Blade 3  



	7. Broken Reflections

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 7 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Kitty Valium  
Author's Notes: Instant latté tastes really bad. Erm, Michiko is Yaten's mom's name. Romance? This chapter? Uh, maybe? Depends where my mind leads me. Don't give up on me yet, EPM. You'll always be my fan, ne? ;.; Maybe by chapter, uh, 9?  
________________  
'I read the writing on the wall,  
But the message is all wrong.  
I've got the world inside my head,  
And it's ticking like a bomb.  
I never needed justice to justify myself,  
I can see the future,  
And it looks a lot like Hell.'   
  
~KMFDM, "Be Like Me"  
________________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 7: Broken Reflection  
________________  
  
"I can't take it…" Michiko turned her head to look at her daughter. Yaten looked horribly sick, she kept tremoring, and talking to herself*. Ever since that day she came home.   
  
"What can't you take Kou-chan?" Yaten just kept staring forward, absently playing with a lock of her hair. She closed her eyes for a moment, opening them slowly. Yaten shifted her eyes to her mother's figure, and smiled.  
  
"Nothing, Okaasan. I'm fine. You don't need to be worried about me." Michiko nodded slowly and got up from her chair.   
  
"Whatever you say Kou-chan… But if you need me I'm here alright?" Michiko waited until her daughter nodded. She lifted her her hand, ran her fingers through her pale blue hair, and walked out of the kitchen. As soon as she left, Yaten growled, and picked up her teacup.   
  
"Yeah. Right…" Yaten tightened her grip around the teacup, causing it to shatter. Yaten sighed and got up, barely noticing the blood dripping off the tips of her fingers*.  
  
-----------------------  
"What the hell is this? The pill is bigger than the average ecstasy pill size..." Seiya has holding a white pill in her hand, which had an imprint of a butterfly. The boy stared at Seiya with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"It's PMA*."  
  
"And you expect me to BUY this shit off of you? Hell. No." Seiya growled, shot her hand out, grabbed the boys collar, and shoved him up to eye level. "I told you over a WEEK ago that I wanted ecstasy, H*, and now I'm pissed because I don't have it. Do you even have the methamphetamine* I wanted from you?" Seiya's eyes were flaring with anger, and she narrowed them when H reluctantly shook his head.  
  
"N-No, ma'am…"   
  
"You asshole! Good god! Tell me, how old are you again?"  
  
"Fourteen." Seiya smirked coldly.  
  
"Fourteen, eh?" Seiya held the pill between her index finger and her thumb. "Fourteen and you will die a horribly, bloody, painful death. I'm sure that X, Dragon Tears, and Heroina* are just as pissed with you. All the more reason to die. You let us down every other damn time we ask for things from you." Seiya held H down with one hand, and shot out her other, shoving the pill into his mouth. "I'll be back in an hour to see if you're dead yet." Seiya let the boy go, chuckled low in her throat, and walked away with her hands in her pockets.  
  
-------------------  
  
"Okaasan, I'm going out." Yaten opened the door. Michiko rushed into the living room.   
  
"Where are you going?" She didn't want Yaten going out in her state. Yaten scowled and glared at her mother.  
  
"Just out. I'll be fine." Yaten walked out the door, roughly slamming it behind her. Michiko winced.  
  
"Okaasama…?" Michiko looked down at the little, maroon-haired girl.  
  
"Yes, Hiroko?"  
  
"Is KouKou* awright…?" Michiko smiled reassuringly at her youngest daughter.  
  
"Yeah. She'll be fine, Hiro-chan."  
  
-------------------  
  
Seiya popped the lollipop* out of her mouth and yawned. "Goddamnit. I feel like shit." She stuck the lollipop back into her mouth, and looked up the street. "Where the hell is Lime Acid?" Dragon Tears looked over at Seiya.  
  
"What the hell did you just say?" Seiya shrugged absently and took the lollipop out of her mouth.  
  
"I want to know where my koibito is." Dragon Tears scowled, grabbed Seiya's lollipop and shoved it back into her mouth before she started chewing on her inner cheek. Seiya turned her head and looked up the street again, spotting a petite figure walking on the sidewalk. Seiya grinned, lifted her arms, and began waving them around frantically. Dragon Tears sighed.  
  
"You're insane when you want a stimulant." Seiya turned her head and glared at Dragon Tears, but kept flailing her arms. Dragon Tears snickered. "And you know it too."   
  
Yaten spotted the arms that were frantically waving through the air and smiled. "Lady Caine!" Yaten began sprinting towards Seiya. Dragon Tear's eyes widened.   
  
"Lassie moment much, Queenie*?" Seiya blinked. She turned her head to Dragon Tears and got a look that sheerly said 'what the hell is 'Lassie'?' Dragon Tears burst out laughing.  
  
"Lady Caine!" Seiya snapped her head back the other, only to find a petite, silver-haired girl tackle her. "I missed you so much…! Oksaasan doesn't trust me anymore! I had to see you…!" Seiya lifted up an arm and took the lollipop out of her mouth that she almost choked on.   
  
"Yeah. Nice to see you…" Seiya cracked open her eyes, only to have a birds eye view down Yaten's tanktop. "…too…" Dragon Tears was snickered at the pink blush in Seiya's cheeks. Yaten blinked.  
  
"Is something wrong, Lady Caine? You look flushed…" Seiya slowly lifted her eyes from the view she had of Yaten's breasts, and peered into Yaten's eyes. She grinned.  
  
"I'm quite all right. Now get off me." Yaten lifted an eyebrow as Seiya propped herself on her elbows, and leaned forward so her lips skimmed Yaten's ear as she whispered. "Before I do something you probably don't want to do. At least now." Yaten scowled and got off Seiya.   
  
"Pervert." Dragon Tears chuckled, got up, and left them alone. He thought he truly lived wth an idiot.   
  
-------------------  
  
"Where are we going?"   
  
"I just have to… check on someone." Seiya has clinging to Yaten's hand with her own, and rounded the corner. Seiya looked around. "Where'd that bastard go? He couldn't have gone too far…" Yaten looked up at Seiya and blinked. Seiya didn't pay any regard to Yaten, just skimmed the area with her eyes. Yaten felt an uneasy feeling when she saw the right corner of Seiya's lips quark up into a smirk. "There he is…" Seiya still held Yaten's hand with one of her own, but lifted her other hand and pointed.   
  
Yaten shifted her eyes from Seiya's face to the wall of a building. The breath hitched in her throat. "What happpend…"   
  
"PMA happened." Yaten stared at the boy that was laying on the ground, whimpering, and blood dripping out of his mouth, sweaty skin, eyes closed, and deathly pale. Yaten skimmed her eyes over the boy, finding that almost every cut or slash on his body was bleeding. "It's eating away at him…" Yaten gagged and buried her face into Seiya's trench coat sleeve.   
  
"That's disgusting…"  
  
"It's his own fault." Seiya wrapped an arm around Yaten, and lead her away from one of the most gruesome sight a teenager could witness. Yaten practically purred as Seiya gently ran her fingertips over the pale, soft skin of Yaten's stomach. Seiya peered over her shoulder and smirked coldly one more time. "Rest in peace, H." Seiya laughed. "Die in your coma."  
_______________  
  
Icy Blade's Learning Corner. You know the deal, class. Stop drop and roll!  
…Or not…  
  
1.) Tremoring, talking to yourself. Yummy heroin withdrawal.  
  
2.) Opiates/Opioids screws with the stem of your brain, blocking pain messages.  
  
3.) PMA, or paramethoxymethamphetamine, kills. Literally. It's disguised as MDMA/ecstasy often. Meaning, round white pill with some sort of imprint on it. (Example: Playboy bunnies, smileys, and Mitsubishi logos…) The most recent death of PMA was on Mother Day back in May. Usually when taken you relapse into a coma within 30 minutes. It practically eats away at your internal organs, and basically you suffer for a day. If you're lucky, the pain'll be short and you'll die the day you took it. The process of making PMA is very much like the process of making MDMA. Except for the fact that chemical precursors are extremely different. It's like trying to make sugar cookies, but coming out with chocolate chip cookies instead.   
  
4.) H is a slang for heroin.  
  
5.) Methamphetamine is a nervous system stimulant. Like cocaine, but not. CSA Schedule II type drug that screws with our brain real bad and screws up memory and coordination. The street version of methamphetamine is usually produced in 'Meth Labs'. It is also known as 'speed' or 'crystal' when it is swallowed or sniffed; as 'crank' when it is injected; and as 'ice' when it is smoked. I'm sure everybody Side effects of methamphetamine use include irritability, nervousness, insomnia, nausea, hot flashes, dryness of the mouth, sweating, palpitations, and hypertension. Excessive doses can produce mental confusion, severe anxiety, and paranoia. Continued to chronic use may lead to physical dependence and even death.   
  
6.) 'Heroina' is another slang for heroin. And another drug pal. Obviously. But if I recall correctly, it's slightly chemically different then actual heroin.  
  
7.) KouKou. I'm sorry. It's just so cute. Hiroko is only like, 5. So, it seemed to fit her role.  
  
8.) Why a lollipop? Because when a druggy wants the drug, but they don't have or can't have the drug, but they want it anyway, they start getting nervous. Mostly out of withdrawal paranoia. So they shake, act really hyper, or chew on their nails, lips, or inner cheek. So they suck on pacifiers or lollipops to keep them from biting themselves. Lollipops and pacifiers are used at raves from the ecstasy and their excitement mixed together.  
  
9.) Queenie. If you remember from ch. 6, Dragon Tears said, "Victim of the Queen?" thus, resulting to the nickname 'Queenie'.  
________________  
  
Did I miss anything? ^^;;;; Anyway, ja ne, minna.  
  
---Icy Blade 


	8. Confessions, Reactions, Stimulations

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 8 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Kitty Valium  
Author's Notes: Oh, I answer your 'question' at the bottom of the page, EPM. Anyways, the dialog in this chapter is a little funky. But you can tell who from who is talking. Ah, and for heavy Christians, I suggest you skip a couple lines of dialog when it gets to the God vs. Satan part. I tried to make it romantic on a first try when writing the chapter, EPM, but it didn't get into contact with the plot line. It may be a few more chapters 'till I actually get to ANY romance. This means I have to shift my outline. ;.;  
_________________  
  
'Now there's no point in placing the blame  
And you should know I suffer the same  
If I lose you  
My heart will be broken  
  
Love is a bird, she needs to fly  
Let all the hurt inside of you die  
You're frozen  
When your heart's not open'  
  
~Madonna, "Frozen"  
_________________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 8: Confessions, Reactions, Stimulations  
_________________  
  
"Watch me laugh. Watch me bleed. Watch me blush. Watch me suffer. Watch me run. Watch me fall. Watch me smile. Watch me cry. Watch me live. Watch me die."  
  
"What…?"  
  
"You will watch my rises and falls, Lime Acid."  
  
"'Watch me die…?'" Neon green eyes saw silky, soft lips quark up into a smirk, even through the darkness. She felt her heart beat rise, horror written all over her face. Yaten swallowed hard, almost panting. "What exactly are you implying…?!"  
  
"I wasn't implying a thing." Seiya wrapped her arms around Yaten, drawing her close to the point that they could hear each other's heartbeats.  
  
"I need heroin…" Seiya sighed and dug through her pocket pulling out a syringe and handing it to Yaten.  
  
"Use it wisely."  
  
"Whatever." Yaten stuck into one of the large pockets on the side of her pants, neer her knee.  
  
"Your heart beats so slow*…"  
  
"Yours just goes too fast." Yaten snickered.   
  
"Honestly, Lady Caine, you can be dense* sometimes." Yaten twirled a lock of Seiya's black hair around her finger, while Seiya nodded.  
  
"I suppose you're right…" Yaten blinked and looked up at Seiya from the spot she had on Seiya's shoulder. Midnight blues eyes reflected pain, sorrow, while tinted with hatred. "I'm stupid aren't I? Absolutely stupid." Yaten's eyes widened.  
  
"Lady Caine?"  
  
"Stupid. I'm an idiot. I knew I was bad."  
  
"Lady Caine…!!"  
  
"I knew drugs were bad."  
  
"Stop…!!"  
  
"I knew drinking was bad."  
  
"Shut up!!"  
  
"I knew killing was a 'sin' of God."  
  
"KNOCK IT OFF…!!"  
  
"I shouldn't have hurt my mother."  
  
"Seiya…?!"  
  
"I shouldn't have disrespected my father."  
  
"WAKE UP!!"  
  
"I shouldn't have killed my baby brother."  
  
"Please…!!"  
  
"I shouldn't have tried killing myself, because all the stress and pressure is originated by nobody but myself."  
  
"You're not the Seiya Kou, the Lady Caine I know!"  
  
"I'm a murderer."  
  
"No…"  
  
"I'm a sinner."  
  
"Stop…"  
  
"I'm a junkie."  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"I'm a liar."  
  
"No you're not."  
  
"I'm almost not even human."  
  
"No…"  
  
"I keep telling myself, 'Everything will be all right.' 'Everything will be okay.' 'I can make it through this'…"  
  
"And you can…!"  
  
"I'm guilty."  
  
"…."  
  
"I corrupted you. I made you into someone, something different. That sweetness isn't in you anymore. It's been replaced by hatred. What was once a pure white dove is now a corrupted black crow. A heroin addict*…" Yaten lifted her hand and smacked Seiya hard. Her head jerked to the right on impact. Yaten growled.  
  
"What the FUCK is wrong with you?"  
  
"I don't know… Gomen nasai." Seiya lifted a hand and run her fingers over her reddened cheek. She glanced down at Yaten and smiled weakly. "Did you ever wonder if there is a 'God' though, Lime Acid?"  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"He's really one hell of a bastard.*"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Where's your 'God' when you're suffering?" Yaten shrugged carelessly. "When people are crying, dying painfully… Where's 'God' then?"  
  
"Somewhere that's not here."  
  
"What about Satan?"  
  
"What about Him?"  
  
"Maybe I was blessed with his evil soul." Yaten gave Seiya a worried look, and didn't know what to do other than hug Seiya tightly. "Maybe I'm here to carry out his evil, destructive orders."  
  
"Shhhh…"  
  
"It's apparent God hates us. Both of us." Yaten looked up at Seiya, slightly confused. Seiya just bent down and placed a lingering kiss on Yaten's lips. "Gomen nasai…"  
  
"It's all right… Nobody should hold anything… in…" Yatens shivered when Seiya bent down and began placing a trail of kisses to her collar bone.  
  
"I want you…"  
  
"I'm always yours."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
________________________  
  
Don't you love these type of cliffhangers? Teehee.  
________________________  
  
**Yet, another note to the readers: Drug addicts would kill if they didn't get drugs. And they'd also kill, steal, or have sex just to have them. Sad, but true. Seiya was awfully pissed because she didn't get her meth or her ecstasy. I handled the situation to way a hardcore drug addict would.**  
________________________  
  
*Post up a new sign* Icy Blade's Encyclopedia/Dictionary/Drug Slang Referal/Explanation Guide/Notes:  
  
  
1.) Slow heartbeat is an indication of substance abuse.  
  
2.) Seiya's 'density' is caused by the drug and brain chemical reaction. Even when not on the drugs, they can screw up mental functioning  
  
3.) You're probably asking yourself 'Since when did Yaten become a heroin addict in this story?' Well, to be quite honest, sometimes the timeline shifts. One chapter might be a 'next day' type thing and then the other chapter might be a 'few weeks later' type thing. Apparently, this chapter was one of those 'few weeks later' chapters. Within about 3 weeks, in the original outline, Yaten did heroin repeatedly. 2 tries of heroin alone are enough to get you addicted.  
  
4.) My deepest apologies to any Christians. Don't hate me.  
________________________  
  
Get a little 'confused' in this chapter? 


	9. Mon âme, ma fille, le désir injustifié

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 9 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Kitty Valium  
Author's Notes: This goes from Yaten, to Michiko, to Yaten. This chapter is relatively odd.My romance muse is dead I think. *Begins smacking her head against the desk*   
______________  
  
Ayako: I'm not dead. Just on vacation. I sent her a postcard. Honest.  
Keiko: So I'm taking over instead. *Grin* Icy's deadly, violent, and horrific muse here.  
______________  
  
'I scream without a sound, how could you take away,  
Everything that I was - made me a fuckin' slave.  
Your face that I despise, your heart inside that's gray,  
I came today to say - you're fucked in every way'  
~ Korn, "Good God"  
______________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 9: Mon âme, ma fille, le désir injustifié  
[That roughly translates into 'My heart, my daughter, my unjustified desire']  
______________  
  
Yaten stared flatly at Seiya's limp, sleeping figure. "So pretty…" Yaten brushed her fingertips over Seiya's cheek and pushed away loose strands of hair. "And all mine…" Yaten sighed, turned to the window, and stared at the several drug dealers, ravers, gangsters, and prostitutes that were scattered on the street and sidewalks. Yaten began taking off the several pieces of jewelry she had on, put them on Seiya's dresser, and laid next to the raven-haired girl.  
  
---------------------  
  
Michiko sighed and sipped her coffee. "Kou-chan… Where are you…?" Hiroko looked up at her mother and blinked her green eyes. Michiko put her cup down, and hugged Hiroko tightly, tears slowly dripping down her cheeks and onto Hiroko's maroon colored tresses.  
  
---------------------  
  
"Lady Caine, wake up." Yaten shook Seiya hard. Seiya groaned and rolled over.  
  
"Is it ten in the morning already?"  
  
"It's past ten…" Seiya shot up, eyes wide.   
  
"And you didn't wake me up?! Good god, Lime Acid!" Seiya grabbed her trench coat, put it on quickly, and ran out of her room - grabbing two small bottles. "I'll be back later, Lime Acid! Don't go anywhere!" Yaten grumbled and grabbed her pack of cigarettes and her lighter.  
  
"Yeah. Whatever."  
  
---------------------  
  
Michiko sat on Yaten's bed, and sighed. She looked around, almost as if the room was foreign to her without Yaten asleep in her bed on these type of Saturday mornings. She looked out of Yaten's window, savoring the feeling of the breeze caressing her face, the sun placing gentle kisses on her cheeks. Michiko turned from the window and walked to Yaten's nightstand. Michiko pulled out the bottom drawer and dug through it. Not finding the picture of the family she had been looking for, she closed the drawer, and opened the top drawer…  
  
---------------------  
  
Seiya walked over the limp, cold body that had been laying there for weeks. "You'd think they'd pick this carcass up. Jeez." Seiya scowled and looked around.   
  
"You're late…" She glanced at the far corner. "You're never late."   
  
"Sorry, I slept in." Seiya eyed the gothic dressed boy.  
  
"Don't let it happen again, Lady Caine, you've stalled a lot lately… You'll end up dead at that rate." Seiya closed her eyes and nodded.  
  
"Understood. But you should be happy." Seiya opened her eyes slowly. "I went through hell to get you this shit." She pulled out the two small bottles from her pocket. The boy's eyes seemed to light up. "It's costing you one hundred dollars, you pushy asshole."  
  
"One hundred dollars of GHB* and DOM*? Please, Lady Caine, lower your prices or something."   
  
"That crap is hard to get. I'm not making rare substances cheap, pal."  
  
---------------------  
  
"What the…?" Michiko stared in shock at the several syringes, small bags of tan powder labeled 'H' and 'C', cartridges, razor blades, and pill bottles labeled 'OxyContin'* and 'MDMA'. "Oh my god…"  
  
---------------------  
  
Yaten inhaled gently from the cigarette between her lips, keeping the smoke inside of her lungs, while pulling it away. She let out a line of thick smoke, and closed her eyes.  
  
---------------------  
  
Seiya shoved the hundred dollars in her pocket, and looked around. "I feel watched…" Seiya closed her eyes from a moment. "I'm just paranoid though…"  
  
---------------------  
  
"Kou-chan…" Michiko clamped her eyes shut, slammed the drawer closed, and bent down - tears streaming down her face.  
  
______________  
  
Icy Blade's Encyclopedia/Dictionary/Drug Slang Referral/Explanation Guide/Notes:  
  
1.) Ah. GHB. The 'date rape drug'. Gamma-hydroxybutyrate. It's usually colorless, odorless, and tasteless. It's a CSA Schedule I drug (As of 3/13/2000). The onset of action is rapid and in an overdose, unconsciousness can occur after 15 minutes and coma within 30 to 40 minutes. GHB produces dose-dependent drowsiness, dizziness, nausea, amnesia, visual hallucinations, reduced blood pressure, decreased heart rate, hypnotic effects resembling petit mal epilepsy, convulsions, severe respiratory depression, coma and death. GHB is a depressant and a hallucinogen in one. It's referred to as the 'date rape drug' due to the passing out stage. It makes it easy for a man (or even a woman) who commits rape crimes to fuck the innocent over that way.  
  
2.) DOM, like MDMA, is produced for the 'feel good' effects. It's a chemical variation of mescaline and amphetamines, like MDMA. Except it's more of a hallucinogen than a depressant. The affects of one to three milligrams of DOM lasts for 12-14 hours, making it top in hallucinogens next to LSD. Though unlike LSD, it's less potent. PCP and MDMA don't even compare to DOM. Although, DOM is rarely seen. And when it is, it costs wads of cash. In this fic, I made it one hundred dollars for both GHB and DOM. That makes them fifty dollars each. Normally, a small, small, small bottle of DOM costs a good one hundred through one hundred fifty dollars alone.   
  
3.) OxyContin. Not to be confused with OxyCodone which is synthesized from 'thebaine'. But OxyCodone isn't in our focus. OxyContin is. OxyContin is a heroin abusers second best friend. Heroin being their first of course. Anyway, OxyContin is a prescription drug from hell. It is an opioid. It comes in 10, 20, 40, 80 and 160-mg time release tablets. Being addictive, OxyContin is being diverted for use as a substitute for heroin. One half of a 40-mg tablet killed an eighteen-year-old. It's a drug that is as close to heroin as you can get. And this is being compared to both morphine and methadone. When heroin junkies run out of heroin, it wouldn't be surprising if the local pharmacy was robbed of the OxyContin and methadone supply. The average heroin addict who uses OxyContin usually uses a 10-mg pill. Anything over than that will kill them out of respiratory depression and cardiovascular depression. The only real difference between OxyContin is the fact that the abuser knows the EXACT amount of the drug he/she is getting, while with heroin, they don't. OxyContin has only made itself known on the East Coast so far, but it is making itself over to the west.   
  
4.) Thought I didn't star this stuff… But they all have uses/uses in themselves.  
Syringes = cocaine and heroin use  
  
Small bags of tan powder labeled 'H' and 'C' = The obvious. They're bags with heroin and cocaine in them.  
  
Cartridges = Whippets  
  
Razor blades = Necessary to make perfectly straight lines for snorting cocaine.   
  
_____________  
  
^_^;;;; Ja? 


	10. Jusqu'à ce que Je Meure, Jusqu' À l'Éter...

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me 

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 10 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Kitty Valium  
Author's Notes: None.  
______________  
  
'I wish I was infinite and given my way.  
I'd be so fuckin' cool when I'm feeling the rush,  
I look at you through different eyes.  
I never knew my thoughts televise what you think.  
I'm the twin inside you.'  
  
~Orgy, "Gender"  
{Random Author Note: Woohoo! Go Orgy!}  
_______________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 10: Jusqu'à ce que Je Meure, Jusqu' À l'Éternité  
[Translation: Until I Die, Until Eternity]  
_______________  
  
"You have to go."  
  
"I don't want to."  
  
"If your okaasan sends the cops out looking for you, I'm fucked, little girl.*" Yaten sighed and nodded. "You know very well that I'll be here tomorrow*. And you have drugs at home. It's not like you're gonna suffer from withdrawal. And go easy on the cocaine. I can't have you addicted to both heroin and cocaine, okay?" Yaten nodded again and wrapped her arms around Seiya's waist.  
  
"I love you…" Seiya smiled and run her fingers through Yaten's hair.  
  
"Go home, koibito. As much as I love you too, you can't stay here forever." Seiya put her hands on Yaten's shoulders and shoved her away. "Someday, we'll spend eternity with each other. Get out of here, Lime Acid." Yaten stared up at Seiya expressionless* for a moment, before turning her back to Seiya and walking away.  
  
----------------------  
  
"You shoul' stop moping." Seiya rolled her eyes and grabbed the glass pipe out of X's hand. "Be happy wit' me."  
  
"The only reason you're happy is because you're high."  
  
"Good point." Seiya snickered and put the tip of the pipe in her mouth, holding the flame from her lighter above other end, inhaling. She slowly took the tip out from between her lips.  
  
"Now I'm all numb and happy."  
  
"Crack is goo' for you, Lady Caine, we should get high together more often." Seiya leaned against the wall, letting out a stream of thick, white smoke.  
  
"Riiiiiight…"  
  
----------------------  
  
"Okaasan, I'm home." Michiko looked up from the magazine she was trying to read through tear stricken eyes.   
  
"Kou-chan…?" Yaten's expressionless face changed the slightest bit to concern.  
  
"Okaasan, what's wrong?" Michiko wiped her eyes with a paper towel, walked to the counter, and brought back the several drugs and drug needs.  
  
"Do these items belong to you, or did they magically appear in your night stand drawer*?" Yaten stared at everything from the small bags of heroin and cocaine to the razor blade. NO sense in lying about it. Yaten simply crossed her arms and shrugged lazily.  
  
"They're mine." Michiko let out a small whimper, numbly sat in her seat, and let tears drop from her cheek.  
  
"Why, Kou-chan, why…?"  
  
"Because I want to*."  
  
"Were have you been?"  
  
"None of your business." Michiko looked up at Yaten from where she was seated.  
  
"Yes, Kou-chan, it is my business." Yaten growled deep in her throat and slammed her hands down on the table.  
  
"What the hell were you doing going through my stuff anyway?!" Michiko frowned deeper, tears forgotten.  
  
"You are my daughter, Yaten Kou. I have EVERY right to go through your things when I please, no matter the reason. I don't know who gives you these drugs, or what you do when you go out, but it sure isn't an innocent game of 'house'. Do you realize what you're doing? Do you know how much trouble you could get in?" Yaten sighed and nodded, only hearing bits and pieces of what her mother was saying, trying to ignore it all. Michiko closed her eyes. "Get out."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Get. Out. You are not welcome here."  
  
"But I'm your daughter…!"  
  
"I'm aware of that, but I refuse to take responsibility of a daughter who is a drug addict. I would appreciate it if you would kindly take this crap, and get out." Michiko slowly opened her eyes again, and glared at Yaten. "Now." Yaten ran her fingers through her hair, and sighed.  
  
"Fine. Whatever you say." Yaten walked passed her mother, grabbing a plastic bag. "I'm not going to school anymore. If you don't want me here, than I won't even bother to ever contact you ever again." Yaten walked back to the table and put her items in her bag.  
  
"Wise up."  
  
"Whatever." Yaten turned around and began walking out the door. "Don't claim my corpse." Yaten shut the door behind her softly. Michiko stared at the door, feeling numb.  
  
"Sayonara… Kou-chan…"  
  
----------------------  
  
"Lady Caine, hey… Wake up…" Yaten smacked Seiya's cheek.  
  
"Go away…" Seiya pulled the sheet over her head, grumbling. Yaten snickered, stuck her hand under the sheets, and squeezed Seiya's breast.   
  
"Lady Caine…" Seiya pulled the sheets down, and peeked over the edge, acknowledging the low purr of her name.  
  
"Dare I ask why you're here?"  
  
"This is eternity."  
_______________  
  
Icy Blade's Encyclopedia/Dictionary/Drug Slang Referral/Explanation Guide/Notes:  
  
1.) ^^; Seiya truly has no right to call Yaten 'little girl' because after all, Seiya is younger than Yaten. But she's just making height referral.  
  
2.) Technically, tomorrow for Seiya or Yaten could be behind bars.  
  
3.) Blank expressions/to be deadpan is a sign of heroin addiction.  
  
4.) I bet you people are wondering, 'Why did she put it all in an obvious space?' Let's just say that some drug addicts fail to think at times.  
  
5.) "Because I want to" is the average 'excuse', I know.


	11. Sécurité, Amour, la Basse Ligne de Hanti...

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 11 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Kitty Valium  
Author's Notes: I'm sick and exhausted. Give me a break. ;.;  
______________  
  
'You have to give up.  
You have to give up.  
You have to realize that someday you will die.  
Until you know that, you are useless.'  
  
~The Dust Brothers f/ Tyler, "This is Your Life"   
______________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 11: Sécurité, amour, la basse ligne de hantise  
[Translation: 'Security, love, the low line of obsession']  
______________  
  
"So what you're telling me is that your okaasan found your shit, and kicked you out?" Yaten nodded. "That's just great." Seiya rolled her eyes and grabbed her pack of cigarettes. "Oh well. Maybe it's best."  
  
"You're allowing me to stay here right?"  
  
"No, Lime Acid, I'm going to kick you out and letting you die on the streets." Seiya snickered when she saw Yaten's eyes widen. "I'm kidding. Jeez, use your head for once instead of jumping to conclusions." She put the tip of her cigarette between her lips and inhaled gently. Yaten lifted herself off of the floor, and sat on Seiya's bed.  
  
"Thank you…" Yaten wrapped her arms around Seiya's waist. "I love you…" Seiya blinked and put her cigarette out.  
  
"Are you all right? You seem really confused about something." Seiya wrapped her arms around Yaten. "If you need someone, I'm here…"  
  
"I'm just tired. I haven't gotten much sleep lately*…" Seiya placed a kiss on Yaten's cheek.   
  
"Take a nap… You've been bingeing* your heroin use… So now you're in a tweaking* state. You're gonna have to feel really shitty for a while because the only depressant I have is Xanax*, and that's a real crappy depressant. And don't even try taking more heroin, cause it's not gonna help. You need sleep more than anything, not that you won't be out like a light for a day after this mode you're in…Trust me, I know what you're going through."  
  
"But that's the problem. You're saying 'take a nap', but when I try to sleep, I just can't." Seiya grinned down at Yaten, who simply kept frowning.  
  
"Knock it off, Lime Acid, tonight we're gonna have 'fun'."   
  
"What…?"  
  
"There's a rave* tonight. We're going whether you like it or not."  
  
"But…!"  
  
"No buts. It'll get you going. Besides, you need to meet other people besides me, Dragon Tears, and X."  
  
"Damnit, Lady Caine, I'm feeling really low. Leave me alone." Seiya pulled Yaten closer, and snuggled her.  
  
"Glad to hear you're exited to go." Yaten just pouted and played with Seiya's hair.   
  
"I hate this…"  
  
"No heroin."  
  
"But I need it."  
  
"Not at a time like this."  
  
"But, koibito…"  
  
"Do you WANT to kill yourself?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Than stop begging for it. You'll end up overdosing during this stage."  
  
"Understood…" Seiya sighed and hugged Yaten tightly, placing kisses down her neck, onto her collarbone.  
  
---------------------  
  
Dragon Tears leaned against the wall outside Seiya's room, chewing on his lip. "The same thing…" He sighed and walked away.   
  
______________  
  
Starred stuff. I'm too lazy to type all that other crap. *COUGH, HACK*  
  
1.) Insomnia is a heroin addiction symptom. *SNEEZE*  
  
2.) To 'binge' a drug has two meanings.  
  
-----a.) The binge is the continuation of the high or rush. The abuser maintains the high/rush by smoking or injecting more of the choice drug. Each time the abuser smokes or injects more of the drug, a smaller euphoric rush/high than the initial rush/high is experienced until, finally, there is no rush and no high. During the binge, the abuser becomes hyperactive both mentally and physically. The binge can last 3-15 days.   
  
-----b.) The meaning of 'binge' in this chapter means she took it time after time after time again. Once the rush was done, and the affects wore off, she would wait a few hours, and take it again.  
  
3.) To be in a ' tweaking' state means the user becomes very very depressed after bingeing. That nothing they do will make them satisfied again, including taking more of a choice drug. Usually, the abuser will take a depressant (Examples: Methaqualone, Valium, Phenobarbital, Xanax) to 'ease' the depressed feeling, which is very uncomfortable to the abuser. Or, they just drink to no end. It's hard for heroin tweakers because heroin is usually used as a way to get people up because of the rush. But when you're a heroin abuser, you just gotta sink in the pits and just go with depressants and alcohol.   
  
4.) Xanax is a nervous system depressant. Like Valium, it is a tranquilizer which they use to ease tension and anxiety and to relax muscles. Depressants can be synthesized, or occur naturally in the plants such as belladonna and curare. Depressants have three categories. Hypnotics which induce sleep; sedatives which do not induce sleep but produce a relaxing effect to help one fall asleep; and tranquilizers. Synthetic depressants are derived from barbituric acid. Barbiturates were first iscovered by German chemist Adolph Von Bayer.  
  
5.) Raves are all night dance parties that were first originated in Europe. Most teens who wear baggy clothes, dress in costumes, and wear a crap load of colorful shit or leather go there. The 'designer' drugs that are usually there are GHB and MDMA/ecstasy to enhance their raving skills. Raves are attended by thousands, maybe if it's a small rave, only 1,000-800 people will go, and typically begin at 8:00 p.m. and end around sunrise the following morning. The latest of 7 A.M. Many of the tablets and capsules sold at raves reveal that many do not contain MDMA/ecstasy, but rather a mix of heroin, cocaine, PCP, LSD, ketamine, methamphetamine and many other chemicals including PMA and DXM which is the cause of deaths and hospitalizations. 


	12. Ailes D'acier, Chat Pieds, Lapin Oreille...

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 12 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, and physical abuse, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Kitty Valium  
Author's Notes: x.x Ah, yeah. Several different Sailormoon characters set a stage in this chapter. (Including some of the villains!) I'll spoil you right now. I used the animamates' 'senshi names' (Leadcrow, Aluminumsiren, etc…) as 'street names'. I couldn't help myself. I love the concept. ^^  
______________  
  
'I'm the voice from the planet of liquid skies,  
To bring you the message.  
Come closer to the speakers,  
So I can see the light in your eyes.  
I'm here to invite you on a journey to our planet of love and freedom.  
So relax your body,  
And open your mind for the melody transmission.'  
  
~Roi F., "Liquid Skies"  
______________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 12: Ailes d'acier, chat pieds, lapin oreilles, et bâtons de lueur  
[Translation: Wings of steel, cat feet, rabbit ears, and sticks of gleam]  
______________  
  
"Jesus, Lady Caine, be more gentle." Yaten growled low in her throat as Seiya jerked the strap under her breasts tighter.   
  
"Gentle? Me? That's a funny one, Lime Acid." Yaten rolled her eyes and sighed. "Be a little more upbeat would you?"  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Bull shit. You can if you put your mind to it." Seiya grabbed two hair bands off her dresser and separated Yaten's hair down the middle. "You'll meet new people. And you need to be more social if you plan on living." Seiya put Yaten's hair into two high ponytails.  
  
"…What do you mean?"  
  
"If you run into a gangster for example, and he doesn't know who you are, don't be surprised if your head if blown off." Yaten's nodded, as she felt Seiya's jerk on the strap again, clipping wings onto her back.  
  
"They're heavy…"  
  
"I know, I've worn them before. But sooner or later, you wont even notice how heavy they are."   
  
"What exactly are they made of?"  
  
"Steel." Seiya moved in front of Yaten and grabbed several sets of make up off her dresser. "I'm going to make you so out of the ordinary that people will want to meet you. We, as druggies, are attracted to oddest things. Those wings and this make up job will attract plenty of people. Maybe if you're lucky, you'll have a posse or something." Seiya grabbed the black lipstick and applied it Yaten's lips. "You'll have a ball. However, there are some things you need to watch out for."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like red pills. Close your eyes." Yaten did as she was told.  
  
"Why red pills?" Seiya gently placed pale blue eye shadow on Yaten's eyelids.  
  
"It's called DXM*. 'The red devil pill'. Don't take it. And be a little smart. Any pill with the AOL Internet symbol is nothing but DOB*." Seiya snapped the eye shadow shut. "And no heroin. As a matter of fact, try and refrain from using ANY drug." Yaten sighed as Seiya took out eyeliner. "I mean it, Lime Acid."  
  
"I know."  
  
"You'll regret it if you take anything." Yaten kept silent as Seiya outlined her lower eyelids. "If we get separated, try and find me. And if you can't, we'll meet outside by five in the morning. But I'm warning you; thousands of people will be there. The chances of you finding me are like, one to a hundred."  
  
"Understood…" Seiya put her eyeliner away, and opened her dresser drawer.   
  
"You're going to need these." Seiya took out a bag of glow sticks. She took one out of the bag, tore open the packaging, and bent the glow stick so it made a cracking sound. She put the string through the loop on the end and tied one around Yaten's waist. "There is no actual lighting. Just black lights, strobe lights, candles, and spotlights.   
  
--------------------  
  
"Koibito, I don't wanna go in…" Dragon Tears snickered.  
  
"Queenie, your dog needs some training." Seiya just glared at Dragon Tears and nothing more.   
  
"Lime Acid, there's nothing to be scared of. The warehouse is huge, so claustrophobia* shouldn't be an issue, and it's practically impossible to be scared of people." Yaten took a deep breath and nodded. "Come on. Quit stalling already." Seiya grabbed Yaten's leather clad arm and walked through the doors with Dragon Tears and X lazily trailing behind. Pale blue and cherry colored lips quirked up into smiles as soon as Seiya walked in.  
  
"Caine-sama…!" Seiya shifted her eyes and sighed.  
  
"Get lives."   
  
"Still as cold as ever, eh?" Seiya just grunted and continued dragging Yaten along. Yaten peeked over the steel wings and stared at the auburn* haired, tanned woman and the pale, blue-haired woman whose hair almost touched the metal floor.  
  
"Who are they, Lady Caine?"  
  
"People always called them Leadcrow and Aluminumsiren. Stupid lesbian whores*." Yaten blinked a few times. "They sell ecstasy cheaply!" Yaten just nodded, only hearing bits and pieces of what Seiya said through the loud techno music, laughing, and screaming of ravers.   
  
"Lady Caine, let go of my arm."  
  
"Fine. But if you get lost, it's not my problem." Seiya let go of Yaten's arm, and jerked one of the glow sticks off of her waist. Seiya turned around and faced Yaten. "I'll be up," she pointed to the higher level of the warehouse. "There. You comin'?" Yaten hesitantly shook her head.  
  
"I need to sit or something… My head hurts, and my back is aching…" Seiya rolled her eyes and let out a breath, running her fingers through her hair.  
  
"Lime Acid, there's practically nowhere to sit! Get used to it! You'll be here a while yet! And one last final time, NO HEROIN!" Seiya snickered and wandered off when Yaten pouted.   
  
"She'd never know…"  
  
"I suggest you listen to her, of all the people." Yaten blinked and turned her head only to be greeted by relatively wide, dark violet eyes. "She's a tough one. Mass murderer in my personal opinion."   
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Kasei-chan.*" The girl brushed thick black hair behind her ear. "But my real name is Hino Rei." She reached out her cat glove covered hand out at Yaten. "You?"  
  
"Lime Acid. Yaten Kou." Yaten grabbed Rei's hand and shook it.   
  
"I'd rather call you a Fallen Angel." Yaten blinked.  
  
"Nani yo…?"  
  
"Well, you have metal elemental wings on, you're hair is a silvery color, and you're awfully pale… You look like an angel in tight leather with deadly wings." Yaten's expression remained quite blank. Rei tilted her head slightly. "You're a heroin addict, aren't you? Or a coke head." Yaten blinked and nodded. "It's quite obvious." Rei reached her hand out and touched Yaten's cheek with her fingertips. "Your expressions seem constantly blank, and you're so clammy."   
  
"You talk a lot." Yaten blushed slightly, mentally scolding herself for not thinking before she spoke. Rei just smiled.  
  
"Gomen nasai. I tend to speak more when I meet new people. But may I ask you something?" Yaten nodded. "How do you know Lady Caine?" Yaten chewed on her lip and crossed her arms.   
  
"She's my lover." Rei's eyes wided.  
  
"O-Oh…" Rei dug through one of the big pockets in her maid outfit* and grabbed one of her lollipops, offering it to Yaten.   
  
"No thank you."  
  
"You seem awfully depressed."  
  
"Just tweaking."  
  
"You shouldn't be here than." Yaten just shrugged her shoulder lazily. Rei smiled and wrapped an arm around Yaten's waist. "Come on. I won't leave you alone. You should meet my friend. Kinsei-chan.*"   
  
---------------------  
  
Midnight blue eyes followed the cat ears and steel wings through the mass crowd. "Lime Acid… Don't mess around that way…" Seiya frowned, pink light from her glow sticks the only light that illuminated her deadly expression.  
---------------------  
  
"Kinsei-chan!" Minako's sky blue eyes scanned the people around her.  
  
"Kasei-chan?" Rei snickered and tapped Minako on the shoulder. Minako spun around. "Don't do that!" Rei simply smiled. Yaten's eyes widened. Rei blinked.  
  
"Angel-chan, what are you so surprised about?" Yaten couldn't help what came out of her mouth.  
  
"Kinsei-san, don't you feel exposed in that?" Rei snickered.  
  
"A playboy bunny outfit is usually common, Angel-chan, just look around you more often." Minako blinked.  
  
"Who exactly is that, Kasei-chan…?"  
  
"Her technical street name is Lime Acid, but I'm calling her 'Fallen Angel' or 'Angel-chan'. Her real name is Yaten Kou." Minako grabbed Yaten's hand and shook it roughly.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Angel-chan. My name is Kinsei, but my actual real name is Aino Minako." Yaten jerked her hand away, almost scared of how enthusiastic he was.  
  
"Nice to meet you too." Minako smiled brightly.  
  
----------------------  
  
"Lady Caine?" Seiya continued to stare coldly at Yaten, Minako, and Rei.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"What's wrong? You usually don't look pissed at raves…"  
  
"It's nothing."  
  
"But, Lady Caine…"  
  
"Shut up, X. Leave me alone."  
  
"What are you staring at?"  
  
"My lover."  
  
"Why isn't she with you?"  
  
"None of your business."  
  
"Whatever you say." Seiya tore her eyes away from the small group, turned, and walked away from X.  
________________  
  
1.) DXM is an ingredient in cough suppressants. It's compressed into a pill that's red, and has similar affects as PMA. Except the most it'll do is put you in a coma. Not kill you. Unless you take more than one pill of it.  
  
2.) DOB is a DOM sister pill/liquid. It's lasts for it lasts for 12-16 hours on a 1-3 milligram dosage. Compared to LSD, this is a close second to most potent and most affective. Like DOM, it is rather hard to get a hold of, and costs a good hundred dollars just for 3 mg.   
  
3.) Claustrophobia is the fear of enclosed, refined areas.  
  
4.) Don't get me wrong. I worship Leadcrow and Aluminumsiren. As a matter of fact, I've got a Leadcrow cosplay costume. I just had to stick with Seiya's character.  
  
5.) Kasei is the Japanese term for 'Mars'.  
  
6.) Maid outfit. Kawaii, baggy maid outfit. Ala Dejiko/Digi Charat. Rei in this chapter even had the tail, the ears, kitty gloves, etc… I thought it was a cute outfit design. ^_^  
  
7.) Kinsei is the Japanese term for 'Venus'. Noticing a theme?  
________________  
  
Ja ne! x.x 


	13. Fantasia Nella Realtà

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me 

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: R  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 13  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, and physical abuse, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
Author's E-mail: KittenXanax@aol.com  
Author's Notes: Bored. Haven't slept since Monday. I'm beginning to talk to my 'sock puppet' and myself. Nothing to do but write. Insomnia sucks. Where are my meds? x.x My fingers seems to be hot. Cool. Maybe I'll spontaneously combust. This isn't good… when I'm in this state; random lemons and crap pop up. x.x;;; Oi… Ah, anyway, this fic is going to get relatively violent and morbid. And I used Taiki's carcass a prop. In the lines of dialog she's 'Crystal Meth' and in the actual writing she's 'Taiki'. Kinda like Seiya/Lady Caine and Yaten/Lime Acid  
______________

'They feel they've raised her, the new queen of evolution.  
Her fate won't see to that 'cause we're gonna know her later.  
Grab that girl; get her home, let's put her on restriction.  
Last time we let her go she missed two days of school.'  
  
~Orgy, "Pantomime"  
(Excuse my Orgy obsession. ¬.¬;;;)  
______________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 13: Fantasia Nella Realtà  
[Translation: Fantasy In The Truth]  
{EPM, I have weird titles because I'M weird. Hahahaha.}  
______________  
  
Rei grabbed Yaten's hand and got out a pen. "Call me or Kinsei sometime, won't you? You're a good person. It'd be real cool if we could hang out sometime." Rei wrote down her phone number and Minako's phone number. Seiya, who was standing next to Yaten, scowled. Minako looked up at Seiya and blinked.  
  
"Kasei-chan, I think we better go…" Rei blinked and glanced at Minako who was nervously staring at Seiya. Rei nodded and smiled at Yaten.   
  
"I hope to hear from you Angel-chan. Sayonara." Rei turned her back to Yaten and began walking away, Minako trailing behind. Yaten turned her head and looked up at Seiya, and stared up at the expression that clearly said, 'I never want to see you near them ever again.' Yaten scowled.  
  
"What are you so pissy about?" Seiya averted her eyes over to Yaten and licked her lips. She grabbed Yaten's hand and squeezed it.  
  
"Koibito, let's go home. It looks like you need a good, nice, long rest." Seiya began walking, dragging a numb Yaten behind.  
  
"A-Ah…" Yaten shook her head, clearing it of the thoughts that clouded her mind, getting her legs to function properly. She stared up at Seiya, a mixture of feelings from insecure to scared. "Are you all right?" Seiya simply nodded and smiled gracefully. Yaten bit her lip and shrunk back slightly.   
  
"What are you so scared of?"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I feel it. You're scared of something."  
  
"You're paranoid." Yaten suddenly regretted saying such a thing when Seiya growled low in her throat.  
  
"Keep talking like that, than I'll start having you dig your own fuckin' grave." Yaten's eyes widened slightly when Seiya jerked her forward so she was directly at Seiya's side and not slightly behind. "My precious, beautiful, baby crow." Seiya smirked coldly and pulled Yaten inside the house. "You are forbidden, my lover, to speak with anyone else without my consent or without my being there, understood?" Yaten nodded hesitantly, staring into Seiya's eyes. Seiya reached out and brushed a stray strand of silver hair from Yaten's lip and smiled softly. "Don't look so scared and helpless. Please? For me?" Yaten swallowed heavily and forced a smile on her lips.  
  
"I'm sorry…"  
  
"There's nothing to be sorry about…" Seiya growled and began pulling Yaten down the hall. "Nothing to be sorry about yet at least." She jerked Yaten into the bathroom and shoved her onto the sink. Seiya grabbed a rag and the soap, reaching behind Yaten turning on the faucet.  
  
"What are you-"  
  
"Shut. Up." Seiya grabbed Yaten's hand that Rei wrote on began scrubbing the numbers off.   
  
"Lady Caine…!" Seiya scrubbed harder, growling.  
  
"You are mine. Nobody else's*"  
  
"Stop…" Seiya scrubbed harder, trying to make all the ink disappear. Yaten simply stared down at her hand, that was beginning to get raw and tender.  
  
"You can't feel it can you?"  
  
"No…"  
  
"You little junkie." Seiya jerked her hand, tearing Yaten's skin. Yaten licked her dry lips, and savored the warmth* from the blood dripping down the side of her hand. Seiya slammed the rag down onto the sink's counter. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's all right."  
  
"I'm so sorry…"  
  
"Lady Caine?"  
  
"I don't mean to." Seiya grabbed Yaten's bleeding hand. "What have I done to you? What have I done to the most precious thing to me?"  
  
"It's just an abrasion…" Seiya wrapped her arms around Yaten and pulled her close.  
  
"I'm sorry… Please forgive me…"  
  
"I was never angry in the first place, my love…" Seiya pulled away from Yaten and grabbed her hand.   
  
"I never meant to hurt you…"  
  
"You didn't hurt me. I felt nothing." Seiya kissed Yaten's hand, gently running the tip of her tongue over the shallow wound. Yaten stared down at Seiya, her cheeks slightly flushed. Yaten smiled and touched Seiya's cheek.   
  
"You don't have to be sorry, Koibito…"  
  
------------------------  
  
Dragon Tears growled and pulled X down the street. "The same damn thing is going to happen."  
  
"But Dragon Tears, you don't know that."  
  
"Of course I do. You even said it yourself. Lady Caine had that look of murder on her face last night. And when you actually looked the only reason was because her precious Lime Acid was with that Kasei chick." X sighed. "Don't you remember what happened to Crystal Meth?"  
  
"The only reason she was killed was because she didn't give Lady Caine any heroin."  
  
"But that was just it. Lady Caine needs an excuse to hurt people. If you hadn't noticed, dumb ass, Lady Caine and Crystal Meth were very will lovers. And where is her carcass now?" X chewed on his lip, knowing every word that was spilling out of Dragon Tears' mouth was true. Dragon Tears jerked X into an alleyway and walked swiftly to the corner. "Her carcass is ROTTING in the corner of an alley." Dragon Tears grabbed the limp, auburn hair and pulled Taiki's head down. "See that?"   
  
"Y-Yes." X stared at the blood stained locks of hair and at the hole in back of Taiki's head.  
  
"It don't stop there, lover." Dragon Tears tore off Taiki's shirt and brushed away thick hair, revealing cuts, slashes, and scratches. X's eyes widened.  
  
"W-What the hell…?"  
  
"Poor, lost, victimized soul." Dragon Tears ran his leather-covered fingers over the deep gash on Taiki's back. He shook his head and sighed. "It'll happen again. I swear it."  
  
"The only one that slipped out of Lady Caine's clutches was Volcano 5*… And she had to tiptoe out of the damn house and run. Far, far away." Dragon Tears nodded slowly. He ran his fingers up to the bullet hole in the back of Taiki's head. "What are you doing…?" X had to hold back a gag when Dragon Tears dug his fingers in the hole and pulled out the bullet.   
  
"Sooner or later, we'll be hiding Lime Acid's limp carcass somewhere." X sighed and Dragon Tears leaned Taiki back against the wall, not bothering to dig the other bullet out of chest. X stared at Taiki's face. Blue tinted lips, pale skin drained of all color, dried blood that dripped out of the corner of her mouth. Dragon Tears pulled open the extra pocket near Taiki's knee on her pants and reached inside, pulling out four syringes. "And she did have heroin."  
  
"What a waste."  
  
"More than a waste."  
  
"A bloody shame."

______________  
  
Um, yeah. Starred… stuff.  
  
1.) Possessive much?  
  
2.) While heroin blocks pain messages to the brain, it only stalls heat messages.  
  
3.) Volcano 5 is a slang for the hallucinogen family, LSD only, or red blotter paper.


	14. Signora di Distruzione e di Comportament...

  
Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: **R**  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 14 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, **drug abuse**, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None  
Author: Icy Blade  
Author's E-mail: ChibiFarfarello@aol.com  
Author's IM: Kitty Valium  
Author's Notes: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! THE _INSANITY_! Ah, yeah. The girl 'Kyoko' in this fic was Yaten's old school friend. She plays a minor part, but significant all in the same.  
______________  
  
**Hinako** (_Fantasy Muse_): *Mocks Icy-chan ala 'Green Eggs and Ham'*   
  
"Would you get it in a box? Would you get it from a fox?"   
  
"Not in a box. Not with a fox. Not in a house. Not with a mouse. I would not get mental help here or there. I would not get it anywhere. I would not get mental help. I do not need it, Sam-I-am."  
_____________  
  
'Where was I when God had shown,  
How to make a happy home?  
And I've become my worst enemy,  
I will survive this instability'  
  
~Coal Chamber, "My Frustration"  
______________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 14: Signora di Distruzione e di Comportamento Violento  
[Translation: Lady of Destruction and Violent Behavior]  
______________  
  
Yaten gingerly pulled the sheets away from her body, desperately trying not to wake up the raven haired girl behind her. She shivered from the breeze, for a moment before wrapping her arms around herself. "How the hell could she possibly feel hot?" She sighed and looked down at her arms. Long sleeves. Thick leather bracelets. Leather gloves. That would do fine to cover the purplish brown bruises developing on her arms. "I'm sure it was all a mistake…" Yaten closed her eyes again, snuggling up to Seiya, but deep in her mind, a voice kept saying 'Keep telling yourself that.'  
  
------------------------  
  
X sighed and pushed dirty blonde locks of hair out of his face. "Remind me why we're staying home again."   
  
"Because I'm waiting for Lady Caine to leave. I need her damn machete*" Dragon Tears sighed and continued flipping through the channels on the television.   
  
"Dare I ask why you may need that machete?"  
  
"I wanna hang H's head on my wall. He's carcass is still limp on the ground. I'm still pissed at him for not giving me my damn meth." Dragon Tears looked up from the television as he heard footsteps coming from the staircase, hoping it was Seiya so he could take her machete.  
  
"Mornin', Kid*" Dragon Tears cursed under his breath and X snickered. Yaten rubbed her eyes and yawned. X blinked and pushed his long, disobedient bangs behind his ears. "It's freakin' ninety degrees out and your wearing heavy leather long sleeves?! Good lord, what the fuck are you on?"   
  
"I just don't feel like wearing something light today…" Dragon Tears frowned.   
  
"Bull shit." Yaten blinked, X turned his head and stared at Dragon Tears.   
  
"What…?" Dragon Tears turned back to the television, an angry look on his face. "What's wrong?" He sighed and stood up slowly.   
  
"I'm going out, Lime Acid. I want you to come." Dragon Tears didn't wait for a response. He grabbed her arm and began dragging her out of the house physically.   
  
"Dragon Tears, what are you-?!" Yaten looked up at him, worry written all over her face. "What did I do?"   
  
"You did nothing." He looked over his shoulder, making sure nobody was following them. "I want to talk to you about Lady Caine."  
  
"What'd she do?"  
  
"She's her in general. That's what's wrong. Do you realize what you're getting yourself into?" Yaten hesitated for a moment before shaking her head. "Let's just put it this way, if you wanna live, you're gonna have to leave."  
  
"I can't. Even if she does hurt me, I love her…"   
  
"Love. That's a funny one. I don't think you realize that love means nothing to Lady Caine."  
  
-----------------------  
  
Michiko opened the door to her home, smiling. A pair of teal eyes stared at her with concern. "Do you know where Kou-chan is? She hasn't been in school for a while…" Michiko smile faded upon her lips and her expression darkened.  
  
"…Kou-chan…" She sighed. "Kou-chan… isn't here, Kyo-chan." She smiled weakly, tears welling in her eyes. "Gomen…" Her voice wavered slightly as she spoke, trying to cover up any depression that was sinking in.  
  
"What's wrong? What happened to Kou-chan?!" Michiko shook her head, quickly swiping at the tears that rolled down her cheeks. "Please, Michiko-san…!" Michiko glanced at the brunette haired girl who was gravely staring at her. "I want to know… Even though I'm sure it'd me as much as it's hurting you." Michiko hesitated a moment before stepping aside and inviting Kyoko inside.  
  
"Please, Kyo-chan," Michiko led Kyoko to the dining room. "Sit down. There's much to be explained." Kyoko sat down in one of cherry wood chairs, while Michiko sat in the opposing side of her.   
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Kou-chan got mixed up in some things that will kill her in the long run." Kyoko swallowed hard in her throat and nodded slowly. "Drugs."  
  
"But Kou-chan would never do such a stu-"  
  
"Yes she would. Stop treating her like a queen and maybe you'd see how vulnerable she can be." Kyoko shrunk back a little, almost in a daze.  
  
"Like what drugs? Name one."  
  
"Cocaine." Kyoko shuddered slightly and closed her eyes, recalling her small run in with freebased cocaine. Crack. Lady Caine…  
  
"I think I better go… That's all I wish to know." Michiko blinked.  
  
"Nani yo? Kyo-chan, are you alright?" Kyoko smiled weakly and nodded.  
  
"Okaasan expected me home right after school anyway. Ja ne, Michiko-san." Michiko nodded and sighed when she heard the door behind Kyoko shut.   
  
----------------------  
  
"Please leave. Before you get in too deep." Dragon Tears ran his fingertips over Yaten's bruises.  
  
"I can't.  
  
"But-"  
  
"I can't."  
  
-----------------------  
  
Michiko sat down beside her youngest daughter, who was clutching a stuffed rabbit and watching the television intently. "Hiroko…" The maroon-haired girl turned her head and look at her mother through sea green eyes. "Promise me you won't do drugs."  
  
"Drugs?"  
  
"Just promise me." Hiroko giggled, and clutched her rabbit tighter.  
  
"Promise, Okaasama" Michiko smiled and hugged Hiroko close, running her fingers through Hiroko's thick tresses.  
  
______________  
  
Icy Blade's Encyclopedia/Dictionary/Drug Slang Referral/Explanation Guide/Notes:  
  
1.) I like machetes. Pretty blade.  
  
2.) As you noticed, X referred Yaten as 'kid'. X is an estimated 19 and Dragon Tears is an estimated 20 years old.  
  
______________  
  
Ja.


	15. La Cocaïne Lacée avec Phencyclidine, Par...

  
Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: **R**  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 15 of ____  
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
Pairing: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya  
P.O.V.: None.  
Author: Shoot the Breeze  
Author's E-mail: KittenXanax@aol.com  
Author's IM: Acidic Lead Crow (The reason I have so many damned s/n's and e-mails is because I have several stalkers. O.o;; Gomen.)  
Author's Notes: **FINE!** I was _lazy_…! Haha! Ah, there's a **REASON** this chapter seems to go so slow and why it's so detailed.  
______________  
  
'I kill children,  
I love to see them die.  
I kill children,  
And make their mama's cry.  
Crush 'em under my car,  
I wanna hear them scream.  
Feed 'em poison candy,  
To spoil their Halloween.'  
  
~Dead Kennedys, "I Kill Children"  
______________  
  
Of Crows and Doves  
Chapter 14: La Cocaïne Lacée avec Phencyclidine, Paranoïa Effets  
[ _The Cocaine Laced with Phencyclidine*, Paranoia Effects_ ]  
______________  
  
"What exactly have I told you about going out without my consent?" Yaten scowled and mentally slapped herself.  
  
"Am I your dog?" She glared up at Seiya's deadly expression, clutching the thin, glass syringe* tightly, as if it were a lifeline.   
  
"What did you say…?" Yaten held her breath for a moment, thinking of the consequences. Slashes, gashes, smacks, bruises…  
  
"N-Nothing." Seiya smirked and lifted her hand, running her fingers trough Yaten's feathery soft hair. Yaten swallowed heavily, and her muscles tensed, almost expected some sort of slap. She tightened her grip around the syringe, noting the small cracking sound.  
  
"That's what I thought. But next time you talk back, I won't be so easy on you…" Seiya bent down and brushed her lips over Yaten's, lingering for a sweet moment. She pulled away from the trembling girl. Yaten looked up at her with eyes full of fear.  
  
"W-Why for once… Aren't you hurting…me…? What trick do you have up your s-sleeve…?" Yaten began backing away from Seiya, afraid to get struck; yet expecting it all the same. She scanned Seiya's expression carefully, her back hitting the wall. She ran her pale thumbs over the long needle on the end of the syringe, whimpering.  
  
"Why the hell are you on?" Yaten pressed the tip of her right thumb down on the needle, not noticing when it went through her skin, not noticing when the bead of blood dripped to the floor, staining Seiya's carpet. Seiya began reaching out for Yaten only to see the pale girl drop the syringe she was clinging to, and smack her hand away.   
  
"Don't touch me!" Yaten snapped her mouth shut, and lifted her hands to cover her mouth. She was trembling, whimpering slightly. She numbly removed her hands from her mouth. "Just… don't touch… me…" Yaten slowly walked past Seiya, who in turn simply eyed her figure with a dark expression. Yaten's body stiffened and she nervously glanced up at Seiya.   
  
"Where are you going?" Yaten simply shivered a response, and sprinted out Seiya's bedroom door. Seiya scowled and sat on her bed.   
  
--------------------  
  
Yaten looked back down the hall, panting, making sure Seiya wasn't following her. X cracked opened his bedroom door and glanced at Yaten. "Lime Acid…?" X narrowed his eyes and opened his door completely. "Are you all right?" Yaten spun around, facing the gentle brown eyes that gazed at her.   
  
"I-I'm fine…" Yaten stared at him through hazy eyes, before turning away and walking quickly to the door. X frowned and shrugged, closing his door again.  
  
--------------------  
  
Yaten shoved her hands in her pockets, wincing at the sharp aching in her head. She leaned against the brick wall of the building she was near. She let out a sigh, and stood up straight again. She began walked steady, slowly, running her fingertips over the rough bricks. She lifted her head, and spotted a shaded alleyway. She looked behind herself, before slipping into the cool sheer of blackness.   
  
She sat down on the cement, breathing heavily, a slight whimpering coming out of her. She closed her eyes, hands down on the pavement beside her, leaning against the wall. She opened her neon green eyes when she felt fragile, bony, fingers. She retracted her hand, quickly digging through her pocket. She pulled out her lighter, and lit it as quickly as possible. Breath hitched into her throat when she saw the decaying carcass next to her.   
  
The hair that gradually wore thin, the skin that was beginning to get thinner, the bones visible from the tightness of the skin… Yaten stared at the corpse numbly, two words slipping from her partly open lips. "Crystal Meth*…" Yaten scrambled to her feet and ran as fast as she could out of the alley, whimpering. Yaten leaned against the brick wall, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. "What's wrong with me?" She dug her fingers through her hair and fell to her knees, rocking herself back and fourth.  
  
--------------------  
  
Large, dark violet eyes stared at the withering girl. "Fallen Angel…"  
  
_____________  
  
**Breezy-chan's Encyclopedia/Dictionary/Drug Slang Referral/Explanation Guide/Notes:**  
  
1.) Phencyclidine mostly referred to as 'PCP' or 'Angeldust'. PCP is… very…very...very potent. It has depressant, stimulant, hallucinogenic, and analgesic (Analgesic meaning medicines that reduce or eliminate pain.) effects. So it's pretty unpredictable. The affects are based really upon the person's mood and personality.   
  
2.) Thin, glass syringes are usually used only medically… However, they tend to be preferred in use because you can see exactly the amount you're injecting into yourself. I have another comment. Just because it's a syringe, doesn't mean "HEY! IT'S HEROIN!" Because in this chapter, it wasn't heroin being injected, it was cocaine and PCP.   
  
3.) How does Yaten know about Taiki/Crystal Meth? Simple. However, it's up to your imagination. Dragon Tears or Seiya. You choose who told her.  
  
_____________  
  
**Relatively Important Note About Yaten's Jittery/Paranoid/Slight Rageful Personality:**

  
Paranoia is an effect of PCP. Paranoia is also an effect of a slight overdose in cocaine.   
  
Jitteriness is a long-term effect of heroin. Or any stimulant or narcotic for that matter.   
  
Rage and lashing out is an effect of the PCP.   
  
____________  
  
**TAIKI, THE ROTTING CORPSE'S WEEKLY INCOME:**  
  
$5.00  
____________  
  
Ja ne! ^_~


	16. Ange Tombé

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
Rating: **R**  
Genre: Drama/Action  
Part: 16 of an estimated 30. Woohoo. I'm not near finished yet, baby.   
Warnings: Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
**Pairings**: Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya, Rei + Yaten   
P.O.V.: None.  
Author: Shoot the Breeze  
Author's E-mail: KittenXanax@aol.com  
Author's IM: Acidic Lead Crow   
Author's Notes: I'll catch up! I swear it!  
______________  
  
'Whatever tomorrow brings,  
I'll be there.  
With open arms and open eyes,   
Whatever tomorrow brings,  
I'll be there,  
I'll be there…'  
  
~Incubus, "Whatever Tomorrow Brings"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 16: Ange Tombé  
[ _Fallen Angel_ ]  
______________  


"Angel… My Angel… My Angel, wake up!" Yaten cracked her eyes open and focused on the blurry image in front of her. Yaten just grunted and pulled the warm comforters over her head.  
  
"Am I dead yet?"  
  
"No. You're not. Now get up." Rei yanked the heavy blankets down, only to find Yaten curl up into a small ball.   
  
"I don't wanna go home…" Rei smiled and sat next to Yaten, stroking her silver hair gently. "Home really hurts sometimes…" Rei blinked and stared at Yaten for a moment.  
  
"What do you mean 'home really hurts sometimes'?" Yaten sat up and sighed, taking off her shirt and showing Rei her arms and back.  
  
"That's what I mean." Rei stared at the slashes, gashes, and bruises for a moment, allowing it all to sink in.   
  
"It's Lady Caine isn't it? Dragon Tears only hurts his enemies, and X wouldn't be able to hurt a fly unless he was really rageful." Yaten nodded slowly. Rei reached out and touched one of the gashes with a feather of a touch. "It hurts a lot doesn't it…? More than just 'a little'. Every slash. Every slap. It emotionally hurts doesn't it?" Yaten nodded again hesitantly. "…Love hurts." Yaten looked over her shoulder, and stared at Rei out of the corner of her eye. Rei gave a sad smile at Yaten in return. "You don't deserve it. You're expecting to die, aren't you? Can you even physically feel anything? Do you abuse drugs enough to see hallucinations every time you get exhausted?" Yaten turned her head back so she was staring down at Rei's sheets. She ran the tips of her fingers over them gently, thinking for a while on how it felt, only to come up on a blank.  
  
"Stop…"  
  
"You're only being used."  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"Just a little pet."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"A precious little kitten."  
  
"Liar."  
  
"It's gone past addiction. Your drug problems that is. It's more of dependency now. At least for heroin…" Rei sighed and wrapped her arms around Yaten's waist. "Think, damnit. How far would you go to get your hands on it?"  
  
"I can't turn around."  
  
"If you tried you could."  
  
"Take your own advice." Rei rested her chin on Yaten's shoulder, and scowled.  
  
"You're starting to sound like a Lady Caine stamped product. Knock it off."   
  
"Bitch." Rei rolled her eyes.  
  
"Ouch. I'm so hurt." Yaten glared at Rei. "It's still a blank expression." Yaten simply grunted and crossed her arms. "Don't get all pissy with me. I'm just trying to talk to you."  
  
"You mean lecture me?"  
  
"You're taking it all wrong." Rei smacked Yaten on the head playfully and giggled. "What is that mush in your skull thinking anymore anyway?"  
  
"No comment." Rei let got of Yaten and laid down.   
  
"Go home. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm so damn tired." Yaten blinked and stared down at Rei for a moment, who rolled onto her side. Yaten smiled faintly and stood up from Rei's bed, grabbing her shirt, pulling it over her head. She pulled out her hair from beneath the thin fabric, and reached down, pulling the heavy covers over Rei's shivering body.   
  
"Sleep well, Kasei..." Yaten walked to Rei's bedroom door, looking over her shoulder, peering at the sleeping form. "Tomorrow…" She opened the door, and walked out, being sure to silently shut it.   
  
---------------------  
  
"I'll find you, my sweet. And when I do you'll regret ever running off…"  
______________


	17. "Vous Devriez Partir"

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me __

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 17  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Shoot the Breeze  
_Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com   
_Author's Notes:_ Gomen nasai. Gomen nasai. I'm sick, and I can't get as much work done as I first expected. *Blow her nose in pretty pink 'Princess' tissues* I made this chapter longer, I think… Whatever. I'm very sorry.  
______________  
  
'I'm only happy when it rains,   
I'm only happy when it's complicated.  
And though I know you can't appreciate it,   
I'm only happy when it rains.  
You know I love it when the news is bad,  
Why it feels so good to feel so sad,  
I'm only happy when it rains.'

~Garbage, "Only Happy When It Rains"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 17: "Vous Devriez Partir"  
[ _"You Should Leave"_ ]  
______________  
  
Yaten sighed and looked up at Seiya, scanning the facial figures for any sign of emotion besides 'slight anger'. "I can't _BELIEVE_ you simply left like that." Seiya tightened her grip on Yaten's arm slightly. "Where the hell did you go anyway?"  
  
"I didn't go anywhere specific…" Yaten licked her dry lips, closed her eyes, and leaned away from Seiya slightly to avoid a slap or smack. However, instead she left the soft skin of Seiya's hand on her cheek. She opened her eyes only to find Seiya's staring right back at her.   
  
"Did you plan on staying away from me?" Yaten stared in the depth of her eyes for a moment, before giving an exact answer.   
  
"Of course not." Yaten smiled as best as she couple, her best not even being very convincing. Seiya sighed and dropped her hand from Yaten's cheek.  
  
"I beg of you… Please don't leave. That's all I ask."  
  
"I wont." Yaten wrapped her arms around Seiya tightly. "I promise." Seiya ran her fingers through Yaten's hair.  
  
"Promises are empty." Yaten looked up, and stared at Seiya. "In the end, a promise will kill you. Learn that." Yaten nodded slowly, blinking in bewilderment. Seiya snickered at her confusion and simply hugging her tightly. "You'll understand sometime." Yaten nodded again.   
  
"How cute." Seiya jerked her head to the right to the voice and narrowed her eyes.  
  
"What do you want, Noir Étoile*?"   
  
"I wouldn't be the one asking the questions. You owe me shit." The pale boy lifted a hand and brushed a strand of brown hair from his face. He narrowed his green eyes and glared at Seiya. "And I'm not waiting for you anymore. Give me the drugs or I'll be throwing your limp carcass in a dumpster." Yaten's eyes widened slightly, and Seiya growled low in her throat. Seiya untwined her arms from around Yaten and calmly walked to the boy.   
  
"And what if I don't have the cocaine and OxyMorphone* with me?"  
  
"Than you die. I'm not going to be patient anymore." He smirked coldly, and walked past Seiya slowly. "And I'm taking your little toy just so I know you'll come back." He wrapped a leather-clad hand around Yaten's arm, jerking her against him. Yaten gave a helpless look at Seiya.  
  
"Fine. I'll go get the shit. But I swear to god if you do _ANYTHING_ to her that you know I wouldn't like you'll be the one digging your own grave." Seiya glanced at Yaten for a moment before she turned her back and ran out of the alley and down the street. Noir Étoile looked down at Yaten who was trembling slightly.  
  
"How the hell do you live with her?" Yaten looked up at him dumbfounded.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"How can you live with a person like her?"  
  
"She can be sweet…" He grunted slightly and began to laugh.  
  
"Lady Caine. Sweet. Oh, what bull shit. And you know it too. Her true colors are beneath her skin. You know, leaving and never coming back is an option."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Than why don't you go?" Yaten didn't respond - she only brought her hand up to her face and chewed on her nails. "Do you even know why you stay?" Yaten hesitantly shook her head. Noir Étoile grabbed her chin and jerked her face up so he was staring into her eyes. "You mean nothing. Exactly why I will give you this bit of advice. You should leave."   
  
"I can't leave."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I promised her I wouldn't go."  
  
"Listen. There are no such things as promises in this world. If we all lived, wondering if we had kept our promises, we'd die. Some – like you – quicker than others." Yaten stared into the depths of his eyes.   
  
"Why do you care...?"  
  
"It's happened too many times. People suffering because of her that is." Yaten jerked away from the brown-haired boy and scowled.  
  
"I don't care."  
  
"Do you care about yourself?"  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"Than answer me a few things."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Do you care about yourself?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Than why do you stay, why do you abuse yourself, why do you allow you life to slowly end?"  
  
"I…" Yaten averted her eyes to the ground.  
  
"You had so much coming for you. You were smart." He growled and smacked her across the face. "But now is all you care about is when you'll get your next hit of heroin. And guess who's fault it is for making you this way!" Yaten sighed and sat on the pavement, hugging herself.   
  
"You're going to die you know." Yaten hugged herself tighter.  
  
"I you're lucky, you'll die the fast way simply get shot." She clamped her eyes shut.  
  
"Stop it…"  
  
"And if your unlucky, your veins might clog* from the shit they put in street sold heroin, to your heart will get infected, or you'll forget to breathe or some shit like that. And if you're really into a fun time, you'll overdose real bad."  
  
"Please…"  
  
"Stop denying it!" Noir Étoile glared at her. "So helpless and pathetic. That's what you are. Do something useful with yourself." He leaned against the brick wall, staring at her coldly. Yaten shook slightly, and hugged her knees to her chest.  
  
"That's not true…"  
  
"Yes it is." Yaten felt salty tears stinging her eyes.  
  
"I can do something useful…"  
  
"Prove it." Yaten swallowed in her throat heavily, thinking to herself.  
  
"I…"  
  
"See? My point exactly. You're useless and a waste of effort and time. You're useless to every freakin' junkie and gangster on the street because you allow yourself to be pushed around. You're so weak." Yaten whimpered and hugged her knees a little tighter.  
  
"Stop it…"  
  
"I WONT STOP! It's time you woke up, little girl, and faced reality! Heroin isn't always going to be a fuckin' crutch for you! Face your problems on your own! Realize you're nothing but a senseless, useless toy! Look at **yourself**!" Yaten shuddered slightly, trying to block out the yelling. Her body shuddered as she felt warm tears drip down her cold, clammy-skinned cheeks.   
  
"I used to be someone…"  
  
"We're _all _born as someone. There just some people like you who turn out to be absolute nobody's in the end." Yaten let out a shaky sigh, giving up on trying to get her point across that she has a purpose. She put her fingers to her temple, and began to gently rub it. Noir Étoile grunted. "What does baby need this time? If you need heroin because you're too 'stressed' too fucking bad. Don't expect any shit from me. As a matter fact, I hope you suffer from hardcore withdrawal. And if you die of it, I'll be there standing on your dead carcass, laughing." Yaten shrank back as much as possible, whimpering.  
  
"Knock it off, Noir Étoile. She didn't do any harm to you." Noir Étoile shifted his eyes.  
  
"Where's the bitch that owes me drugs?"   
  
"She couldn't make it." Yaten lifted her head, and stared at Dragon Tears. "So I'm sacrificing my own drugs to you, all right? Just leave Lady Caine alone." Dragon Tears glared at him for a moment before tossing him two small bags. "Now get out of here." Noir Étoile scowled and shoved the bags in his pocket.  
  
"The whore is going to get herself killed someday." He gave one final disgusted look at Yaten and walked slowly out of the alleyway. Dragon Tears bent down and picked up Yaten.   
  
"Are you okay?" Yaten nodded numbly, her breathing begging to become labored. Dragon Tear's eyes widened. "What the-… When was the last time you had a hit of heroin?" Yaten clutched his yellow shirt, and forced herself to speak clearly.  
  
"Yesterday."  
  
"Shit, man, why didn't you tell me?! What did you take as a replacement?"  
  
"Methadone."  
  
"There are better things in the book, you know."  
  
"I couldn't find anything else…" Dragon Tears began to walk home, cradling Yaten in his arms.   
  
"…You should have asked me for something. I don't have any heroin at home though. And they don't sell drugs in daylight. At least most of the time." Yaten nodded slowly, closing her eyes. "Just don't die on me."  
______________  
  
**Breezy-chan's Encyclopedia/Dictionary/Drug Slang Referral/Explanation Guide/Notes:  
  
**1.) Noir Étoile roughly translates into 'Black Star'.   
  
2.) There are seven main pills you'll see on the streets. Three being entitled to the category 'Oxy Killers'. There's OxyCodone, OxyContin, and OxyMorphone. OxyCodone bares opium-like effects, OxyContin bares heroin-like effects, and OxyMorphone (obvious, by the name it was given) bares morphine-like effects. The three 'Oxy Sisters' can only be ingested through pill form. If broken up, or cut in half, it will melt your insides, and you will die. There three other narcotic pills, however. Vicodin, Fentanyl, and Methadone. Fentanyl has the effects of heroin. However, the trick is, it's a good one hundred times more potent. To this day, there are 12 different analogues of Fentanyl. And because Fentanyl isn't fun, I'm not going to mention it in the fic itself. Vicodin is a mild painkiller. Methadone, like I'm sure I pointed out before, was synthesized in WWII due to the shortage of morphine. But then, after the war, it was used to treat narcotic addiction, mainly heroin. But if ask me, it's sheer bull shit, cause just because somebody's addicted to heroin doesn't mean they can't get addicted to both the heroin and the Methadone. Or they might just bounce from heroin addiction to Methadone addiction. Ah. Whatever. Doctors are assholes and a bunch stark-raving mad idiots. And the seventh pill, obviously, is everybody's favorite pill. MDMA. Or as we all know it 'ecstasy'. The Love Drug. I don't need to explain much for this pill, being the fact is all anybody talks about anymore. ¬.¬  
  
3.) Street heroin is like some shit you buy in the food store. "Preservatives Added." Drug dealers on the streets add sugar, salt and other crap that make your vein clog or collapse. The only way you kind find a very good purity heroin is if you have Italian Mafia 'representatives' in your state.  
______________  
  
*COUGH, HACK* Ja ne, minna.


	18. Être Tenu dans L'ombre de la Mort

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me __

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 18  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Shoot the Breeze  
_Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com   
_Author's Notes:_ Life's hell. ¬.¬ And then my psycho family, and my seven psycho friends, and my psycho school wonders why exactly I'm anti-social 90% of the time.   
______________  
  
'If I should stay when do I pray?  
If I should stay where do I begin?  
Do you think I should watch you die?  
Should we close our eyes and say goodbye?'

~Filter, "Miss Blue"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 18: Être Tenu dans L'ombre de la Mort  
[ _To Be Held in the Shade of Death _]  
______________

  
"Try not to be too active. Just lay down and rest. I know you're going to want to actually start moving sooner or later, but you have to stay down." Yaten nodded and put her hands over her eyes.  
  
"Where's Lady Caine?" Dragon Tears blinked. "Where did she have to go that was more important than coming for me?"   
  
"I… She…" Yaten just sighed and rolled over onto her side.  
  
"Don't worry about it. I know when I'm insignificant." Dragon Tears' eyes widened.   
  
"What the hell are you talking about?!"  
  
"I bet she wouldn't come for me if someone took me and held me up for ransom." Yaten wrapped her arms around herself, feeling slightly cold. Dragon Tears narrowed his eyes and growled low in his throat. "She doesn't care." A leather-clad hand jerked out and grabbed Yaten's shirt collar, jerking her upward. Dragon tears used his other hand to smack Yaten across harshly, a red mark beginning to form on the pasty-white cheek.   
  
"Who's talk there?! You or the fucking symptoms?!" He stared evenly into her dull, lifeless eyes.   
  
"I..."  
  
"Who the hell are you?!" Dragon Tears let her go and allowed her to fall to the bed limply. He sighed and shook his head, staring down sadly at her body. "I'm sorry I over reacted. I just have a lot of things on my mind, and you're talking so differently." Yaten stared at the ceiling in a daze, and nodded slowly. Dragon Tears grabbed his heavy black trench coat off the chair it was draped over and put it on. "I'm going out to find you some heroin. I don't care if I have to shoot a dozen people to get it either. X will watch after you while I'm gone, all right, kid?" He ran his fingers through her hair before he turned away and walked out Yaten's bedroom door. Yaten turned her head slowly and stared at the shut bedroom door, and numbly reached her hand out.  
  
"Dragon… Don't… " X peeked inside the room, and tried his best to smile. Yaten dropped her arm numbly over her stomach, and turned her head back to the position it was in before. She stared at the blue stars that were painted on the black ceiling numbly, searching through the millions of thoughts in her head for a reasonable thing she could try and say to welcome the young boy who was there to watch over her. X walked in her room quietly, shutting the door behind him.   
  
"What shouldn't he do?" Yaten simply shook her head. "I'm assuming that means 'never mind'."  
  
"You know me… too... well."  
  
"No, I don't. I don't know your name. How old you are exactly. How you grew up. Is all I know is Lime Acid. Nobody else." Yaten turned her head and stared at him. "Who are you? Do you even know who you are anymore?"  
  
"What's with... you people… and getting on my case…?" X sat next to her bed, and grinned.   
  
"Just curious."   
  
"Kou." X blinked. "And… I'm sixteen…" X's hazel eyes widened.  
  
"THAT FUCKIN' YOUNG?! **SWEET JESUS**!" Yaten stared at him for a moment, and blinked. "Ah, well. I shouldn't say anything. Lady Caine is only sixteen too." Yaten nodded slowly. "So Yaten's your name, huh?" X lifted one of his pale hands and tucked black strands of hair behind his ears. "Cool with me. I had a name, too, you know." The corner's of Yaten's lips twitched a little, forming a small smile.  
  
"Of course…"  
  
"My name was Ken. I just turned twenty. I was younger when a lot of bad shit happened at home though…" X lowered his eyes, sighed, and stared at the floor. "But it doesn't matter." He shook his head and smiled. "At least I know something about you."   
  
"I feel weak… It's hard to… breathe…"  
  
"Whiner. Of course you're going to feel weak. And suffering respiratory depression is going to be with you for the rest of your life probably… " Yaten nodded weakly, and sat up slowly. X chewed on his lip. "You should be laying down. Not sitting up."   
  
"I don't…" Yaten drew in a shaky breath and coughed, tasting blood on her lips. "…care…" X blinked and reached up, grabbing her hands and pulling them away from her mouth. He stood and gently pulled her back so her back was resting against the soft mattress.   
  
"Face the fact you have a problem…" He ran his fingertips below her lips and wiped away the excess blood she coughed up. "This is the beginning of your journey to hell and back. It's going to just get worse if you move around a lot. I know your muscles are tremoring, and I know your brain is telling your body to move. But, baby, you can't. You have to stay down. You're not addicted to heroin…" Yaten looked up at him, trying to put his words straight. "You're dependent. And it's because of that, that you're going to suffer."  
  
"I… know…"  
  
"You know what?"  
  
"I know… I know I'm going to suffer…" X nodded and pulled the comforters up to her chin, covering her shaking body.   
  
"Don't die."  
  
"I won't."  
  
"For me? For Dragon Tears? …For Lady Caine?" Yaten nodded numbly. X lifted her head and stared in her eyes evenly. "You're so blank…"   
  
"Sorry…"  
  
"No need to apologize…" X smiled brightly at her and brushed stray strands of hair out of her face. "It's natural." He laid her head down on the pillows gently, grabbed a tissue from her nightstand and wiped the sweat from her brow. "Are you warm? I could turn off the heat and pull down your blankets." Yaten shook her head violently.  
  
"**NO**! Please, don't! I'm cold…" X blinked and stared at her oddly for a moment.   
  
"'Kay, babe, whatever you say." He sighed and lazily sat back down on the floor, laying his head on the mattress; next to Yaten's quivering body. He slipped his eyes shut, mumbling inaudible sentences. Yaten lifted her hand and run her fingers through the shoulder-length black hair, telling herself to keep awake.   
----------------------

  
Dragon Tears grunted in annoyance, and walked through the city. "There's always one or two idiots out here selling some shit. Where are they when you really need them the most?" He shoved his hands in his pockets, and walked past the brick buildings, looking in every alleyway. He peeked inside one alleyway and sniffed the air. "Aww… The fuckin' disgusting." He scowled and covered his nose. "You think the city had fuckin' sanitation worker's that would dispose of Crystal Meth's rotting carcass." He gagged, and quickly away from that alleyway, walking to the next.  
______________  
  
@_@ I still gotta do my hooooomewoooooork….


	19. Meurtre Disposé

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 19  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Shoot the Breeze  
_Author's E-mail:_   
_Author's Notes: _Okay. I'm taking a head count. So far, ten - literally ten - people have e-mailed me assuming I take drugs. **HOW LOVELY!** I feel so loved! *Read e-mail [Note the horrible slang used]* "How the hell du u kno all this stuff abt drugz? I swear, the only way u culd possible know such things is if u personally du them." So, yeah. Just cause I obtain knowledge of drugs, that gives people the right to assume I do them. Mm-hm… It's really none of anybody's business if I do or I don't. Now I'm all pissed off…! .;; Anybody else wanna be on the list? Blargh. Ah. Here's another one I was telling a friend of mine about. "Really, I think u've got probs. How can u detail things like that if u've never done it? being a real fu*k-up isnt exactly sumthing to be proud of" I'm going to write that bitch back. Mwahahaha! Poor victimized soul!_  
_______________  
  
'Not feeling, not nothing.   
Good intentions, but jealousy takes over all.   
Excuses, Abuses.   
This time I know it's not over, so _WHY_?  
Take all my pride and shove it back down inside,  
This time for us it's gone too far.'  
  
~Kittie, "Raven"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 19: Meurtre Disposé  
[ _Arranged Murder _]  
______________

  
"Hey, wake up." Seiya smacked X's back lightly. X opened his eyes and muttered lazily to himself, rubbing his eyes, smearing his eyeliner and eye shadow slightly*.   
  
"Lady Caine?"  
  
"Yeah. Get out." X scowled and stood up. He narrowed his eyes and glared and Seiya for a moment, a million words of disgust to call her running through his head. Seiya glared right back, her fists clenching.  
  
"Answer me something."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Where the fuck were you? She's standing in the shadow of death…"  
  
"None of your business. Now if you would kindly step out of this room, I would really appreciate it." X clenched his hands, let out a deep breath, and closed his eyes for a moment to clear his head before leaving with a final murmured 'bitch'. Seiya scowled and locked the door. "And good riddance." She shifted her eyes to shuddering, trembling figure under the heavy comforters. She narrowed her eyes slightly and walked to the bed slowly, pulling the covers down. Yaten curled up into a ball and wrapped her arms around herself, whimpering softly.   
  
Seiya grunted and grabbed Yaten's shirt collar tightly, pulling her up to eye level. Yaten coughed heavily, small amount of blood dripping down her chin. She opened her pale green eyes, only to have Seiya's cold midnight blue ones staring straight back at her. "I could kill you now. And put your out of your misery." Seiya held Yaten's collar tightly with on hand, while she reached to her belt and pulled out her gun, putting the cold metal against Yaten's temple. "You're useless and helpless in a state like this. I wouldn't be surprised if you dropped dead."  
  
"Go… ahead…" Seiya stared at Yaten for a long moment. "I could… give a shit… whether or live… or whether I die… Just shoot me… Pretend… Pretend I never ever existed before…" Yaten smiled weakly. "Not like… I won't see you in hell... When you die too…" Yaten coughed up a little more blood, tasting the salty warmth on the tip of her tongue as she licked her dry lips. Seiya growled and shoved Yaten back down onto her bed.   
  
"I can't kill you when you're pleading for it. Maybe if you pleading for me to save your life I'd kill you." Yaten nodded slowly, slipping her eyes shut. Seiya sighed and dropped her gun to the floor. She sat on Yaten's bed slowly, being cautious not to alarm the fragile girl. "I'm sorry…"  
  
"Why can't I just die?"  
  
"What…?"  
  
"Please, kill me. I can't bare… the pain of this anymore…"   
  
"No… Please, understand what I'm saying. I can't…"  
  
"If I pleaded… for my life… Would you finally kill me?"  
  
"No!" Yaten sighed softly and put her hand over Seiya's, squeezing it weakly. Seiya shifted her eyes from the floor to Yaten's face. She smiled and turned her hand over, twining her fingers between Yaten's.   
  
"I love you…" Seiya kicked her shoes off and lay down on Yaten's bed, pulling the covers up.   
  
"Just as I love you…" Seiya wrapped her arms around Yaten, pulling her close.   
  
"Kill me someday…? End the pain…?"  
  
"Whatever you wish."  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
"Dear 'Lindsay',

Answer me this, 'friend', do you know me? Do you know where I live? Do you even know what shit I've put up with from people like you? I'm so honored you look after me. Just because I know of something and how it works, doesn't mean I do it. However, I admit I have done drugs. And who am I to say I really won't do 'em again? Sure, go tell your friends and shit, I really don't care. There are plenty of people out there who use and abuse drugs, and what are you going to do to stop them? I'm not proud to be a fuck up, babe; it kills me, as a matter of fact. And I am human too. Just like you. So, yeah, fuck off. Know me before you judge me.

Sincerely,

The Sleazy Bitch A.K.A. 'Breezy-chan'"  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
**Breezy-chan's Encyclopedia/Dictionary/Drug Slang Referral/Explanation Guide/Notes:  
  
**1.) Real men wear make-up. And make it look really good. For the record, I prefer make-up wearing men to non make-up wearing men. Nyah.

______________

  
Short chapter. I know. Gimme a break. 


	20. Quand Les Anges Ont Pleuré

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R /H [X]** (Only for this chapter mind you)  
_Part:_ 20  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU, **explicit sexual situations**  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Shoot the Breeze  
_Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com  
_Author's Notes: _For a really major update on ANYTHING of mine, see the bottom. As for this fic, nothin' much to say. I made both Satanic and Christian references. Quote the girl who is a Satanist herself. Ala Breezy-chan. Turkey Day is coming up. No school? Yuss.

**__**

A BIG FAT, SADISTIC, LEMON WARNING HERE!!!  
______________  
  
'You and me,  
We're in this together now.  
None of them can stop us now,  
We will make it through somehow.  
  
You and me,  
If the world should break in two,  
Until the very end of me.  
Until the very end of you.'

  
~Nine Inch Nails, "We're In This Together"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 20: Quand Les Anges Ont Pleuré  
[ _When the Angels Wept _]  
______________

  
"I did it all…" Yaten slowly lifted her head and stared down at Seiya's motionless figure. "I did all of it…" She tried speaking, only to find no voice coming out. She slowly closed her mouth, and laid her head back down on her pillow. Lifting her hand numbly, Yaten reached out to touch Seiya's cheek, brushing away thick, black strands of hair. Seiya growled low in her throat and grabbed Yaten's hand. She turned her head and stared into the pale, green eyes cruelly. "You are so incredibly stupid, aren't you?" Yaten's eyes widened slightly. Seiya smirked and jerked Yaten out of her lazy position and on top of her. "Speak." Yaten opened her mouth only to have squeaks and whimpers come out.  
  
"Speak." Seiya licked her cherry-colored lips, running her fingers up Yaten's skin-tight black, leather shirt. Yaten inhaled sharply and closed her mouth, swallowing heavily in her throat. "What's wrong? Can't you speak?" Yaten opened her mouth again, forcing out strings of trembling whimpers. Seiya smirked and unzipped the back the of Yaten's shirt, sliding it off her body. Yaten tried speaking in desperation, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "Cat got your tongue?" Seiya ran her fingers up Yaten's spine, toying with the clasp of her black, lacy bra. Yaten shut her mouth again. Tears finally fled from her eyes, and she numbly breathed slowly.  
  
Seiya chuckled lightly, jerking the bra off. Yaten shivered slightly as the cool autumn air nipped at her clammy skin, allowing her pink nipples to harden, much to Seiya's pleasure. "Give up?" Yaten neither shook her head in a no gesture, nor nodded for a yes. She simply sat there, a leg around each of Seiya's sides, shaking like a dead leaf that was ready to flutter off a branch. Seiya narrowed her eyes, traveled one of her hands to Yaten's front and pinched one of Yaten's nipples. In a response Yaten let out a small yelp, followed by tears of fright. Tears of death. Tears of pain.   
  
Seiya propped herself up on her elbows, kissing Yaten forcefully on the lips. Yaten tried jerking away, only to have her body disobey, too weak to carry out any means of command. Seiya bit down on her lip, savoring the taste of salty blood. Yaten whimpered slightly as Seiya pulled away, blood beginning to trickle down her lip. Seiya licked the blood off her chin slowly. Yaten left out a shaky breath, inhaling a little slower. "So thick and divine…" Yaten closed her eyes for a moment. "Reminds me of expensive wine." Seiya rolled over and pinned Yaten down to the mattress, experiencing no trouble. Yaten opened her eyes again, and stared Seiya straight in the eyes.   
  
Seiya took her hands from Yaten's bony shoulders, and ran them down her own stomach, grabbing the edge of her shirt and pulling it over her head. Yaten whimpered slightly, as Seiya reached in back of herself, unclipping her leather bra and taking it off. Seiya threw it to the side, and slammed her hand down next to Yaten's head. "I couldn't tell whether that was a whimper of fear, or whimper of desire." Seiya smirked coldly and raked her nails down Yaten's neck, watching red streaks form. Yaten showed little to no reaction, just staring blankly at the pasty white ceiling, cringing ever so slightly. Seiya moved down and placed gentle kisses down the soft skin of Yaten's stomach, using her hands to jerk off the loose, black shorts.   
  
Breath hitched in the middle of Yaten's throat as Seiya tucked her fingertips under the rough, lacy panties and pulled them down eagerly. Yaten bit her lip and wrapped her arms around herself slowly. She clamped her eyes shut, expect something she simply didn't want. But instead Yaten felt Seiya shift her weight and strip herself of her remaining clothing and slide her warm body on top of Yaten's cold one. Seiya sat up on Yaten, and lifted her fingers to Yaten's silky lips. Lime green eyes opened and stared at Seiya for a moment, scanning her facial expression, trying to 'predict' what she was going to do.  
  
Seiya ran her fingers over the pale pink lips, smiling sweetly. Yaten shakily lifted her hand to grab Seiya's, as a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. The sweet smile that was plastered on Seiya's face turned into a dark and cruel smirk. Yaten gasped slightly and retracted her hand quickly, only to have Seiya backhanded her, slapping her across the face with the back of her left hand. "You're so pathetic. Don't touch me. I'll do all the touching." Yaten head jerked to the left, her cheek becoming bright pink. Seiya frowned and chewed on her lip for a moment. Seiya cupped Yaten's cheek with her hand, and stroked it gently with her thumb. "I'm sorry…" Yaten sighed and closed her eyes, not bothering to make any sort of physical response.  
  
"I love you so much..." The cold whisper rang through the empty room as if they were both in nothing buy a void. Nobody to help the poor, shaking figure beneath the slim, well-toned fighter. Seiya bent down and placed lingering kisses down the clammy, pale skin of Yaten's neck, while she reached out the nightstand, grabbing the razor that glistened in the light of the sun. Seiya pulled her lips away from Yaten's neck, and murmured her sweet nothings, as if it made the whole situation right. "I love you a little more than I should..." A smirk formed on the split lips as Seiya pulled away and raised the sharp, deadly corner of the razor to the area between Yaten's collarbones.   
  
"Exactly why you must die. And we will be reunited in the fiery pits of hell. Where we can spend _the REST OF ETERNITY_ **together**." Seiya licked the blood for her lips as she dug the blade into Yaten's skin and dragged it down to Yaten's naval. Tears spilt down the ivory skin quietly, staining the silky, black pillowcase. Seiya lifted the razor, watching blood seep out of the wound. "Or we'll both go to heaven. Where we can cause chaos there." Seiya put the razor against Yaten's right shoulder. "We'll always," She began dragging the thin, sharp metal across Yaten's chest, as she squirmed and screamed in pain. "Be." Seiya stopped at Yaten's left shoulder. "Together." Seiya smiled sweetly and she dug the razor deeply into Yaten's flesh, staining the porcelain white skin. Yaten lifted her hands to her face and sobbed quietly, telling herself in her head that this was nothing but a horrible nightmare.   
  
Seiya put the razor down next to Yaten's trembling frame. She put her hands over Yaten's pale ones, jerking them away from her face. "Look at me, you whore." Tears glistened in Yaten's eyes, as she looked on into deadly midnight blue. "Turn around." Seiya crawled off of Yaten. The silver-haired girl sat up on her knees, feeling the warmth of her own blood caress her skin. She turned around so her back was facing the deadly 'raven'. Seiya chewed on her lip for a moment, before she picked up the bloody razor again... She dug the razor into her skin once more, dragging it around Yaten's back, splitting the thin layer of protection. She drew a circle on Yaten's back and Yaten bit her lip to keep from screaming in pain. Seiya leaned forward, lapped up some of the blood before she went on, and drew an upside-down star within that circle. She then carved into the fine, smooth skin 'Broken Dove'   
  
Seiya licked her lips and threw the bloody razor to the floor, smirking. Yaten trembled, her body feeling numb emotionally. She closed her eyes, blocking out the feeling of her own blood dripping down her body, onto the thin, silky sheets. It hurt to move her arms; it hurt for her to move any muscles in her body. She felt like she went to hell and came back. The wounds stung and burned. Seiya leaned into Yaten, placing a sweet, yet acidic feeling kiss on her shoulder. Yaten shuddered at the touch. She wanted to curl up into a ball. To block all the pain away. Though her back and chest wouldn't allow her. She wanted her only friend in a world so pitifully, painfully cruel. Heroin. She felt more salty tears drip down her cheeks, as she whimpered quietly. "I want something from you." Yaten damned God for taking her voice away at such a moment as this.   
  
"Please me. Make me satisfied" Yaten turned her head slightly, glancing into Seiya's eyes, which were burning with almost uncontrollable desire. Yaten let out a shaky breath, scared of what Seiya would do if she didn't dare obey the command. She slowly slipped from her bed and onto the floor, breathing slowly and heavily. Seiya licked her lips and pressed them together as she moved to sit at the edge of her bed. Yaten looked up at her, her eyes giving Seiya the look, begging to reconsider everything. Take back the 'request'. Seiya grinned in amusement and shoot her head, smacking Yaten across her other cheek.   
  
"Such a pitiful look what get you out of anything. Now what are you waiting for?" Yaten sighed and swallowed back broken pride, burying it in the back of her mind. She put her hands against Seiya's hips and leaned forward, placing a lingering kiss of the warm, sensitive area. Seiya whimpered and dug her fingers into Yaten's hair, urging her not to stop. Green eyes glanced up at Seiya's desperate face before Yaten leaned forward again, slipping her tongue out from between her lips. She ran the tip of her tongue lightly over the edges of Seiya's vaginal* lips. Seiya growled in sexual frustration and tugged on a lock of Yaten's hair. "COME ON! YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT!"  
  
Yaten moved closer, pressing her lips on Seiya's womanhood, sucking on it tenderly. Seiya bit her lip as hard as she could to the point it bled. She wrapped her legs around Yaten, ignoring the yelp that came out of the smaller girl. She smirked to herself and purposely dug her heel on Yaten's back. Realizing she wasn't going to get anywhere doing slight protests, Yaten did what Seiya wanted exactly. She searched with her tongue for Seiya's clitoris, her eyes slightly lighting up when she finally found the small bead. Seiya moaned and ran her fingers through Yaten's hair, panting, wrapping her legs tighter around Yaten. Yaten pressed the tip of her tongue down on Seiya's clit, squeezing her hips. She pulled away momentarily to get her thoughts straightened out. Heavily sighing, she moved forward again, placing kisses on the sensitive, throbbing area. Seiya threw herself back on the bloody sheets, moaning and squirming as if a worm on a hook. "Good god...!" Yaten felt the fine tremor run through the taller girl's body. Seiya calmed down and lay still on the bed, panting. Yaten licked the salty fluids from her lips as she sat up straight and stared down Seiya's frame.   
  
She ran her fingers over the cross carved onto her body and winced, feeling blood slowly trickling out of it. She assumed her back was doing nothing but the same. And whatever move she made hurt. As if a thousand knives piercing through her body. She felt her breathing slow down a little more and her vision beginning to blur. She put her palm to her temple, mentally noting she had a headache. She slowly leaned over and lay on her side, closing her eyes slowly. The only thing she saw before slipping off into temporary darkness were the crying angels, and the giggling devils.   
______________

  
1.) No need for the big heading. Anyway, if any of you have a problem with saying 'vaginal' by now, I suggest consulting a major psychotherapist. Anyway, on a more 'serious' note…

______________


	21. Fermez Vos Veux, et Mourez

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 21  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Shoot the Breeze   
______________  
  
'You can never understand what I feel,  
Or do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead?  
It can't silence all the voices in my head,  
I close my eyes but I can't make it go away...

~Stabbing Westward, "When I'm Dead"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 21: Fermez Vos Veux, et Mourez  
[ _Close Your Eyes, and Die _]  
______________  
  
Seiya cracked her eyes open, and glanced around the room. She groaned and put a hand to her throbbing temple while the other ran over the hardened, crimson sheets. She shot up into an upright position and frantically looked around the room. "Lime Acid?" Seiya peeked over the side of the bed, and stared down at the girl who was laying on the bloody carpet, covered in her own dried blood. Seiya bit her lip and reached down, pushing silver bangs away from Yaten's face.   
  
Yaten's breathing heavy and labored, her skin paler than before, if that was even possible. Seiya stepped over Yaten and sat cross-legged before her. She put a hand on Yaten's shoulder and shook her gently. Yaten opened her red-brimmed eyes, and stared painfully at Seiya. She felt empty and scared to be touched. Seiya bit her lip and swallowed the lump in her throat. She smiled weakly, unsure of what to say, what to do. She ran her thumb over Yaten's cheek, only to have the silver-haired, fallen angel try and shrink away, yelping slightly as she hit her back against the bed frame.   
  
"Shh… I won't hurt you. I'm sorry, my love, I'm sorry…" Seiya wrapped her arms around Yaten making sure not to press too hard on any of her wounds. Yaten whimpered slightly and tried squirming away, only to feel tears prick at her eyes. She wished momentarily that she would just die. For the Gods to pity her, and just kill her. Get her out of such a Hell. Yaten didn't bother comprehending any of the words that spilled out from between Seiya's lips. She was afraid that those words would just turn her broken heart into a shattered one. A shattered heart that would never be repaired by anybody. Seiya looked hurt for a moment, before letting Yaten go. "I didn't mean to hurt you…!" Seiya bent over and dug her fingers in her thick hair, sighing heavily.  
  
Yaten stared helplessly at Seiya for a few more moments before she began to back away, making sure she didn't make any sudden movements. She slowly put her hand down onto the thick carpet, and she felt cold metal slightly under her palm. Yaten bit her lip and pushed down more, hoping she wouldn't get anyone cuts. Seiya glanced at Yaten slightly, seeing the paranoid look on her face. She removed her hands from her head, and licked her lips, as she began crawling towards Yaten slowly. Yaten clamped her eyes shut, prepared for anything Seiya was going to pull. She opened her eyes again as she felt Seiya brush past her and lift her hand up. Seiya clutched Yaten's hand tightly and grabbed the razor. She sighed and stared at the shiny, crimson-tainted, blade.   
  
Seiya tilted her head up and glanced at Yaten for a moment. She sighed and pulled one of her thick, black shirts off her floor and held it out to Yaten. "I know it's not the cleanest thing in the world," she paused only to lick her cracked lips, "But at least it's something to cover all that up with." Yaten nodded slowly suddenly feeling sick to her stomach and dizzy. She reached her hand out and grabbed the shirt, slowly lifting her arms to put it on. She whimpered lightly as the stretching of her skin tore open sections on the slashes on her chest and back. Seiya sighed lightly and reached out to Yaten, grabbing the edge of the shirt and pulling it down. Seiya's head jerked to her door as she heard the light knocking. She stood up and walked to her door, leaning her back against it. "Who is it?"  
  
"Where the hell is X? He's supposed to be in there. Not you of all people." Seiya scowled and Yaten blinked.  
  
"What do you want, Dragon?"  
  
"Would you rather not see me and let your little toy die _OR_ would you let me in and give the doll what she needs?" Seiya sighed and opened her door slowly, allowing Dragon Tears to walk in with the filled syringe and thick, elastic band. Yaten's eyes visibly had a tinge of happiness. He smiled slightly at Yaten before he glanced at Seiya. "Get some damn clothes on. I don't want to see **you** like that." He smirked slightly. "There are women twice as beautiful as you."  
  
"You're really asking for it today, and I've only seen you for a goddamn minute." He just shrugged and walked slowly to Yaten, sitting on his knees next to her. He sighed and put the syringe on the carpet, Yaten's eyes on it the whole time. He wrapped the elastic band around her arm as tightly as possible without hurting her arm. Seiya crossed her arms over her chest watching his every move carefully. Dragon Tears grabbed Yaten's wrist and pulled her inner arm up to eye level. He pressed his middle and index fingers against the thick, blue vein that was beginning to pop up. He eyed the number of syringe track marks down her arm for a moment and sighed as he picked up the syringe, inserting the sharp needle into the vein in her inner elbow. He injected the tannish colored liquid inside of the vein before slowly pulling the needle out and removing the elastic band.  
  
Yaten let out and a sigh and closed her eyes, falling off the edge into a wasted bliss. Seiya narrowed her eyes, her lips forming a solid frown, glaring at Dragon Tears. Dragon Tears laid Yaten down on the floor, and brushed her sweat-drenched bangs out of her eyes. He allowed his eyes to wander past Yaten's body, landing on the blotch of blood. His breath caught in his throat for a moment, before he narrowed his eyes and ran his finger over the blood. He slammed his fists onto the floor, and turned to Seiya. "What the hell did you do?! Where did you hurt her?!" Seiya smirked and simply shrugged. He growled and ran his fingers up Yaten's legs, only to receive a small whimper from her.  
  
Her eyed her face for a moment, before he sat her up. Dragon Tears turned his head to Seiya, fury flaring in his eyes. "Lady Caine… I swear to God… If you lay one more finger on this **HUMAN** ever again I will make sure you die a horrible, bloody death. She is a living being. Not a mindless doll for you to play with." Seiya closed her eyes and laughed for a moment, Yaten wincing lazily at the sound that reached her ears.   
  
"What can you possibly do?" Dragon Tears narrowed his eyes before he turned his concentration back to Yaten's figure. He propped her up with one hand, while he ran his hands over her shirt with the other. He stopped when he felt a moist area near her shoulder, which was beginning to harden and dry. He moved his hands down and grabbed the tip of her shirt. Yaten squirmed and whimpered lightly, trying to get away from torturous touches.   
  
"Don't worry. I'm not going to harm you…" She looked up at him, giving him a pitiful look. "I give you my word on that." He smiled weakly, hoping he would convince her that he could be trusted. Seiya scowled and growled low in her throat. Yaten nodded slowly, and Dragon Tears chewed on his lip for moment, tasting blood on the tip of his tongue. He sighed and pulled on the shirt, tearing the fabric down the center. Yaten shivered as the cold air bit at her skin. Dragon Tears slid the fabric from her skin, his eyes widening at the sight of her bodily condition. His lips formed words he wanted to say, only to have them not come out. He swallowed heavily in his throat and slowly turned Yaten around. He stared at the mess of thick blood and peeling skin for a moment, feeling a little weak and light-headed. Tears built up in Yaten's eyes, as Dragon Tears closed his eyes and turned away from the sight.   
  
He took a deep breath of air and slowly opened his eyes. He stared at Seiya in sheer disgust for a moment. "How could you? It must have been obvious she was in pain…" Seiya just smirked the whole time, not giving him an answer. Dragon Tears sighed and turned back to Yaten, turning her around so he could her front rather than the sheerly gruesome back. He grabbed one of the sheets off of Yaten's bed and wrapped it around her despite the whimpers and yelps. He tied her hair into a bun and cradled her in his arms as he stood up. He scowled at Seiya and walked for Yaten's door.  
  
"Just where are you going?"  
  
"Somewhere far from you. She needs help. Not abuse." Yaten glanced into Seiya's cold eyes for a moment, before she shrank back into the chilly sheets and stared numbly at the ceiling. She felt her body pulling itself back together slowly. She forced words out slowly respite how raw her throat felt from screaming the night before.  
  
"Goodbye… withering crow…"


	22. Détruisez le Dragon

_Disclaimer:_ Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.
    
    _Rating:_ **R** 
    
    _Part:_ 22
    
    _Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU
    
    _Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya 
    
    _Author:_ Shoot the Breeze
    
    _Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com  
    
    _Author's Notes: *_POINT AT MICROSOFT WORD* YOU BETTER NOT GIVE ME SHIT!
    
     ______________
    
    'If you knew how much I loved you,
    
    You would run away.
    
    But when I treat you bad,
    
    It always makes you want to stay.'

~VAST, "Pretty When You Cry"   
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 22: Détruisez le Dragon  
[ _Destroy the Dragon _]  
______________  
  
Yaten looked round at her surroundings, nothing looking the slightest bit familiar. She looked up at Dragon Tears slowly. He shifted Yaten slightly in his arms, and looked down at her. "What are you staring at?"   
  
"Where are we?" He swallowed heavy in his throat, letting out a heavy sigh. He looked up around lazily and scowled. The graffiti, gangs, buildings didn't look anything like the what was at 'home'.   
  
"I don't even know myself. As long as you're away from the bitch though." Yaten frowned deeply and chewed on her lip. "…What's your purpose? Why do you stay?" Yaten blinked and stared at him blankly. "How can you live with her? Why don't you leave? Isn't a razor digging into your skin enough to convince you she's nasty? Or are you waiting for the day when you're on the ground bleeding to death to finally tell yourself that? A devil isn't supposed to fit with an angel…"  
  
"I…" Dragon Tears just pulled her body against his chest, continuing to walk and look around.   
  
-------------------  
  
Seiya's eyes stared solemnly at Dragon Tears, hoping he'd just drop dead on the spot. She scowled and slipped out of the shadows of the tall, slate building, her hand tightly gripped around a blonde haired girl's wrist. "Why are we going to do anything mean to him again?"  
  
"Because he's in the way of my love interests. I can't do a damn thing without him having a problem with it. Now shut up, Kinsei." Minako stared up at Seiya before sighing to herself.   
  
"You're not happy very much are you?" Seiya growled low in her throat.  
  
"I'm always happy, you just don't take the time to realize it." Minako frowned and clutched the gun tighter in her other hand.  
  
"What am I getting out of this anyway? Why don't you do your own dirty work?"  
  
"I already did my dirty work. And as for what you'll get out of it…" Seiya smirked and bent down, brushing her lips over Minako's softly. "You'll get anything you'll ever want." Minako's cheeks began turning a vivacious shade of pink and Seiya stood up straight again. "Now here's what you're specifically to do…"   
  
-------------------  
  
"I need to put you down for at least a second, all right? My arms feel like they're gonna fall off, damnit." Yaten scowled glared up at Dragon Tears.  
  
"Are you implying I'm fat or something?" Dragon Tears blinked and looked down at her, a look of bewilderment gracing his facial features.   
  
"You're definitely far from fat, my friend. I've just been carrying you for too long. My arms just need rest." He bent down and placed Yaten against the building, stretching his arms and yawning. Yaten looked up at him slowly.  
  
"Are we ever going to go back home?" Dragon Tears jerked his head down and stared at Yaten for a moment.   
  
"I don't know… What's home… That you miss?" Yaten shook her head, and winced as the fabric of the sheet dug into her wound.   
  
"It hurts so bad…"  
  
"I know, I know. But at least you're feeling a little better. Those wounds will scab soon. They'll scar… But at least you'd be rid of pain." Yaten nodded slowly, hating the idea of having symbolism all over her body for the rest of her life. "We passed a little pharmacy before… I'm considering going back. For the sake of getting rubbing alcohol of iodine or something to get all that cleaned up. It'll infect sooner or later."   
  
"You're leaving me here alone?"   
  
"There's nobody here. You don't have to worry. It's just a little down the way. Just stay quiet and you'll be fine." Dragon Tears looked down at her for a moment before he took off his trench coat and bent down, wrapping it around her shoulders. "I'll be back as soon as possible." Yaten nodded, smiling halfheartedly. He turned his back to her and began walking away slowly, this cold air sending chills down his spine.

-------------------  
  
Seiya smirked grimly and stepped on the tin garbage can lid. "Draaaaagon…" Dragon Tears stopped in his tracks, and narrowed his eyes. "Don't think I can't hunt you down. I'm not as stupid as you presume."   
  
"What do you want?" Seiya slowly stepped out from her cold place in her the dingy shadows.   
  
"What do I want?"  
  
"Your life. Your soul. I want you dead. I want to walk in the puddle of your blood." Dragon Tears' eyes widened and his breathing increased slightly. "And I will have your life, and your soul soon enough, and I will be practically bathing in your blood."  
  
"I doubt it." Seiya snapped her fingers as her smirk turned into a grin.   
  
"Oh really? Kinsei, show him exactly what I mean." Minako stepped out from behind Seiya, clicking off the automatic on the gun she held so tightly in her hand. "Nice knowing you, Dragon Tears. Take a good look at the world around while you still can." Dragon Tears shook his head aggressively, and turned his back to Seiya and Minako, beginning to run.   
  
"LIME ACID! GET OUT OF HERE! FORGET THE PAIN" Yaten's head jerked up from it's position of leaning forward. Seiya looked down at Minako and nodded slowly.   
  
"You better give me what I deserve."  
  
"Just go." Minako grunted and ran after Dragon Tears as fast as possible. She closed her left eye and aimed the gun as best as possible, pulling the trigger. He took as sharp inhale of breath as the cold, metal bullet dug into his back, and his knees felt as if they were shattered. He let out a small moan before he fell to the ground, breathing heavily. Minako stopped running and just began walking to him steadily, knowledgeable to the fact that he wouldn't be able to move.   
  
Dragon Tears clamped his eyes shut, blocking out the pain and the feeling of the warm blood soaking into his shirt, which clung to his pale skin. Minako made her final step before him, licking her lips, tasting the cherry lip-gloss, with Seiya not to far from behind her. "Just kill me." She smiled sweetly and put her heel against Dragon Tears' shoulder, rolling him over onto his back.   
  
"If you don't shut up than it'll be more painful than it has to be." He narrowed his eyes and glared at her lifelessly. She scowled and pulled the trigger again, sending one of the bullets from the barrel of her gun into his chest. He screamed in sharp pain, thrashing his head back and forth. "Calm down!" Minako shot him twice more, his body finally coming to a stop in movement, blood dripping out from the corner of his mouth.  
  
"Just put him out of his misery." Minako nodded slowly and lowered the tip of the gun down to Dragon Tears' temple.  
  
"Sayonara." Dragon Tears clamped his eyes shut before Minako pulled the trigger once more, and his body twitched once more at the impact, sending his soul away, erasing his life from existence.   
  
"Haven't you ever heard that the cats can chase the mice, but the wolves can devour those cats?" Seiya blinked and looked around slowly. "Looking for me?" X smirked and quoted Seiya, "'Don't think I can't hunt you down. I'm not as stupid as you presume'." He draped his legs over the ball buildings edge, and looked directly down at Seiya. He scowled and picked up a dart next to him. "What do I have to do to try and kill you this time?" He drew his arm back and threw the dart at Seiya, hitting her in her forearm.  
  
"What the hell is this…?" Seiya pulled out the dart, her arm feeling numb.   
  
"I'm slowly killing you." And Seiya laughed. Her laugh bitter and sounding as if she were amused. As if she'd just heard a joke.   
  
"Yeah, okay, X. Whatever you say." Seiya reached to her belt with her other hand and took out her gun, aiming it at X. "Fool." X's eyes widened.  
  
"This isn't what was supposed to happen."  
  
"Every now and then things don't go as planned now do they?" Seiya licked her lips and pulled down the trigger, the bullet soaring towards X. "See ya." X numbly feel forward off the edge of the building, flipping in the air. He landed on the ground with a dull thump, where a small pool of blood formed under his head. Seiya tucked her gun back into its holder, and turned her back to X, making her way towards Minako. "Come on, slut, let's go find my shattered lover." Seiya grabbed hold of her arm and began dragging her away from the scene of gore.  
  
"She couldn't have gone far…" Seiya nodded slowly, a satified smile gracing her lips.  
  
"Not far at all."  
_______________  
  
Ja neeeeeeee… @_@ 


	23. La Douleur

_Disclaimer:_ Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 23  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Fallen Seraphim  
_Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com  
_Author's Notes: _o. Someone conveniently pointed out to me that in HER state and in HER city, 'shoot the breeze' means to snort nitrous oxide. Which isn't at all what I'm implying. ERG.  
______________  
  
'Put me in a homemade cellar,

Put me in a hole for shelter.

Someone hear me please, all I see is hate.

I can hardly breathe, and I can hardly take i.'

~Slipknot, "Purity"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 23: _La Douleur_  
[ _The Pain _]  
______________

Yaten erratically stood up from her spot against the building's hard exterior, allowing the thin sheet and heavy trench coat slide off of her body. She shivered and clamped her teeth together, trying to get used to the cold air. She bent down and grabbed the coat off the ground. Yaten slipped her arms through the sleeves and began buttoning it down the center, looking around for any sign of anybody coming towards her. A satisfied smile played at the corners of her lips as she began walking towards the empty street, taking her hair out of the sloppy bun it was in. She reached the corner of the building, looking to her left, down the sidewalk. "Where exactly did you plan on going?" Breath hitched in Yaten's throat. "You can't run off. Just face it. Your 'savior' is dead, X is dead, and I really don't want to have to kill you too. But if you persist on acting like this, I'll have to." Yaten looked out the corner of her eye, glancing at Seiya.  
  
"You'll get caught someday…"  
  
"Nobody would live to report it or tell anybody else about it." Yaten closed her eyes, trying to shun the words that spilled out from between lips casually, as if it was said often. Or read from a book. "I thought you weren't as spineless as everyone else.  I thought you were different because you did whatever you wanted. But instead, now that I realize it, you follow everybody else. Like a stupid, brainless dog. That's exactly what you are. What a pathetic waste." Yaten swallowed heavily in her throat, and planted her feet on the ground firmly.  
  
"If I'm a waste, than you're nothing but sheer garbage. The only thing that matters to you is your own morbid, sadistic happiness. You don't care whether somebody lives or whether somebody dies. As long as you're the one living in the end. I live to see the day when you actually care for somebody other than yourself. Murderer. You live to destroy. That's it. Nothing else matters…"  
  
"So you're not as stupid as you look."  
  
"I'm far from stupid. The stupid thing I'm doing, I suppose, is trying to get away from you." Seiya's eyes widened as Yaten began to run as fast as possible down the road. Yaten wiped her eyes to get rid of the salty tears as she ran, suddenly just hoping she'd live through all this, wishing she could clean her system out of the junk she 'needed'. "I realize," Yaten took in a deep breath of air, ignoring Seiya's shouts coming from behind her, "I realize how dumb I was. God, please, can't you just rewind time for me? Just this once…Please…" Seiya growled and aimed her gun at Yaten's mid-spine.  
  
"What do I have to do to make you realize you can't run from this hell?!" Yaten pressed her hands firmly over her ears as she whispered soothing words to herself. She eyed the road of buildings that seemed to never end, her lungs beginning to ache. Yaten allowed her hands to drop to her sides has she slowed down to a steady walk. She observed her surroundings carefully, noting specifics of each and every building. Her eyes lit up as she saw the metal cross that bore such pride atop the church before her. She glanced behind herself, Seiya's figure coming closer to her. Yaten's eyes widened as she swallowed heavily in her throat, and ran to the heavy, polished cherry wood doors.   
  
She turned the golden knobs and swung open the doors, scanning the gently lit house of worship. She walked onto the velvety, ruby-colored carpet, shutting the doors behind herself, shakily locking them. Yaten walked down the aisle. Past the rows of polished, oak seats. She stopped before the set of steps that lead to the alter, staring at the stain glass windows behind it. "Do you need some sort of help?" Yaten let out an alarmed sound from her throat and jerked head to the side, facing a petite nun. The nun took steady strides to Yaten, scanning her facial features. "I'm sorry if I alarmed you. I mean no harm." Yaten nodded slowly in response. "What is your name?"  
  
"Yaten Kou." Yatenn lifted one of her hands and brushed sweaty bangs from her eyes. "Who are you?"  
  
"Sister Ayako. And please, if I may ask… Where have you come from?" Yaten looked down at herself, noticing the trail of scarlet dripping down her ivory skin. She looked back up at Ayako, a lost expression on her face. 

  
"I… I don't even know myself. I know my name, but I don't know **me**. I don't even know where I am. Where I came from. Is all I know is I'm on a one way street to hell, and that I'm a mindless heroin addict…" Yaten let out a sigh and fell to her knees, holding her fist in her hand. "I thought I loved somebody, but instead their only desire is to kill me. Watch me bleed. Hear me scream in pain." Ayako lifted up her black robe a little and sat on her knees before Yaten.   
  
"You seem scared…"  
  
"I am scared." Yaten unfolded her hands and stared down at her palms. "I used to be pretty, and smart, and popular. But it all disappeared. I used to believe in life. But now I expect death more than I give about life." Ayako   wrapped her arms around Yaten, pulling her close.    
  
"How about we get you cleaned up, and you could stay here for a while. How did you find this place anyway?"  
  
"I have to get away from my so called 'lover'…" Ayako smiled lightly. "Does that make me a spineless coward?"  
  
"Of course not. Trust me, you're safe here. Maybe you can help yourself while you're here. Catch up on everything." Yaten nodded slowly. "I can't promise you anything though, I'm afraid." Ayako grabbed Yaten's hand, and slowly stood up, pull Yaten up with her. "We all have a place on this earth. God has granted us with more than we could possibly need. Hope. Faith. Believe in **YOU**, and you'll find the answers to your questions in life. Don't give up." Yaten nodded slowly, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Ayako smiled brightly and wrapped an arm around Yaten, holding Yaten's hand with her own and walking towards the doorframe at the side of the church.  
  
-------------------  
  
_The small, raven-haired girl looked up at her father while he prayed silently. She blinked her midnight blue eyes and tugged on the sleeve of his suit. The little girl's father opened his eyes and glanced at her through his sea-green eyes. "Yes, my little Kou?"  
  
"I have nothing to pray for, Daddy." The small girl's father smiled at her gently.   
  
"Pray for your mother."  
  
_Seiya stared blankly at the cherry wood doors. "Father…" Seiya dropped her gun to the sidewalk and put a hand to her temple, closing her eyes. "Oh god… I remember this place." She leaned forward and rested her forehead against the polished wood.   
  
_"What's wrong with you?! Are you purposely trying to make me have a panic attack?!" Rage-filled green eyes burned into deep, midnight ones. The young father clenched and unclenched his fists repeatedly. The mid-teenage girl stood before him, her breathing heavy and labored by the slightest amount. "I don't care if you smoke cigarettes. But there's a difference between store bought cigarettes and joints of marijuana, and glass crack pipes. How stupid are you? I thought you were smart. You lied to me. You told me that because your mother died out of GHB slipped into her drink that you'd never do an illicit drug." Her father put his fingertips shakily to his temple, sighing. He looked down at his only child flatly. "Get out." The girl opened her mouth to speak, only to have her father cut her off. "Seiya Kou, get out of my house. I don't need a drug addict using this home only to have a place to sleep at night. You live on the streets. And then you tell me how hard life is."  
  
_"This is the city I called home at one time…"  
  
--------------------  
  
Ayako braided Yaten's wet hair, humming to herself. Yaten closed her eyes and let out a gentle sigh. She felt Ayako pick up an elastic band and tie it around the end of her hair. "Now…" Ayako stared at the Satanic symbol on Yaten's back for a moment. "To clean this slashes and gashes before they infect." She picked up a cotton ball and dipped it in the reddish-brown liquid. "This'll hurt, I know, but please… Refrain from screaming." Yaten nodded slowly and winced as she dapped the liquid upon her creamy skin. "I think you'll do fine here for a couple days…"  
  
"Thank you…" Ayako smiled.  
  
"No need to thank me…"


	24. Allez à Enfer et Revenez

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 24  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Fallen Seraphim  
_Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com  
_Author's Notes: _Sorry it took so long. ^^;  
______________  
  
'Wake your mind up, clear your eyes up,  
Move and rise up, before your times up  
Clock is ticking, your caught slippin',  
Stop to realize, look, and listen.'

  
~311, "Wake Your Mind Up"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 24: Allez à Enfer et Revenez  
[ _Go to Hell and Come Back _]  
______________  
  
Seiya hugged herself tightly and shrank back further into the corner she sat in. She sighed leaned the back of her head against the red bricks. The fine tremor ran down her spine and through her whole body, giving her goosebumps. She lifted a shaky hand in front of her face and wiped the sweat from her brow. "What have I become?"   
______________  
  
Yaten sighed and leaned her cheek against her palm, propping her head up. "So boring and silent," Ayako blinked and looked up at Yaten from her leather-bound Bible.   
  
"I am sorry that this is not the streets. However, you came here yourself. You're free to leave if you wish," Yaten just shook her head and laid back on the plush, red, velvet church seats. She skimmed her eyes over the stain glass windows and bright lights and sighed.  
  
"I'm fine here."  
  
"You know, the first step of getting out of an addiction is noticing that you have a problem in the first place. You're on your way to a drug-free life," Ayako smiled at Yaten, before lowering her eyes down the thick book before her. Yaten shifted her eyes to the black, velvet pockets that contained several Holy books. She reached over and grabbed the book of hymns. Ayako blinked and peeked up at Yaten, as the pale girl opened the book and began singing softly to herself. "You like to sing?" Yaten snapped her mouth shut and looked at Ayako's peaceful face.  
  
"I used to be in the choir when I was in school. I was the star of the class," Yaten sighed and flipped through the pages. "But that's all gone…"   
  
"We have a choir, if you would like to sing again," Yaten shook her head, shutting the book.   
  
"No thank you," She put back into the velvet pouch and folded her arms behind her head. Ayako sighed and shut the Bible, placing it beside her. She turned her head and stared at Yaten, folding her hands on her lap.   
  
"And why not?" Yaten blinked and lifted her head, staring back at Ayako, not expecting such a reaction. "Why is it that you once loved to sing before, and you do not wish to do so now? You can't just stop something you loved to do before if your heart was truly into it," Yaten sat up and crossed her legs as she scowled slightly, and she knew inside she really didn't have a response to such sharp, logical words and ways of thinking.   
  
"Maybe I was fooling myself, and my heart wasn't into it. How about that?"  
  
"That can't possibly be true."  
  
"Sure it can. What if I was fooling myself about everything?"  
  
"Than why are you here searching for a lost cause in yourself?! I am **not** here to be a caretaker! If that's the case, just leave!" Ayako scowled and crossed her arms, her brows knitting together slightly. Yaten's eyes slightly at Ayako's reaction, "I'm trying to help you, but you're doing absolutely nothing to help yourself."  
  
"I…"  
  
"What's your excuse, Yaten Kou, what is your absolute excuse? What is it that's holding you back from challenging yourself? Do you not know how? Was everything always handed to you when you were at home? Did you always seem to get your way? It's not like that now. You're growing up. You've got to realize that nobody going to baby you anymore, nobody's going to constantly pamper you, and most of all, you can't just run for your problems, and expect them to solve themselves like you obviously did so much during your lifetime. Life is not a game of hide and seek," Ayako let out a breath, and closed her eyes. Yaten scanned her mind to find an answer, some sort of response. She swallowed heavily in her throat, and reached out a shaky hand, placing it over both of Ayako's. Ayako opened her eyes, her amber eyes staring into Yaten's green ones.   
  
"I'm sorry…" Ayako nodded slowly in response, her breathing slow and steady. "I tend to spontaneously abort on things…"  
  
"It's all right…" Ayako's lips perked up into a smile. "It made me know you slightly better as a person." Yaten nodded slowly, a smile tugged at the corners of her own lips.   
  
---------------------

  
Seiya stared at the white door, standing before it. She moved over to the side and peeked into the window, her eyes scanning over the polished, wooden floor hallway. She sighed and turned her back to the sight, beginning to walk down the front steps. "I need to get over it," She dug her hands in her pockets, staring at the ground.   
  
"Who are you?" Seiya's head shot up and stared at the tall man before her.   
  
"F-Father…" Deep, green eyes narrowed as his face twisted into a scowl.  
  
"I asked who you were."  
  
"You don't remember…? I'm your daughter. Seiya Kou. How could you forget?" Seiya's father walked up the stairs, pushing her to the side, taking out his keys to the door.  
  
"I don't know whom you're talking about," He glared at Seiya through the corner of his eye harshly. "My daughter died. Years ago. And her body is replaced by somebody completely different," Seiya opened her mouth to speak, only to not have any words come out. Her father sighed and opened the door to his home, stepping inside, slamming it roughly in her face.  
  
"Father…" Seiya leaned her forehead against the door, her body shaking as tears dripped down her cheeks.  
  
---------------------  
  
"What about your family?" Ayako placed a glass of water before Yaten before sitting on the other side of the oak table. Yaten smiled brightly in thanks as she picked up the glass.  
  
"My mom was a major workaholic. Always had to be on time for everything too. She was a beautiful woman. She had pale blue hair and more of a violet eye color. She always had to stick her nose in everybody's business," Ayako chuckled slightly. "And then I had a little sister named Hiroko. She would always call me 'KouKou'. She was five years old when I was kicked out of home, but she's six now. Her hair was a deep maroon color, and her eyes were deep green. And my best friend was kinda like a sister too. We were really close friends. Her name was Kyoko. Very bubbly girl, though she had a depression disorder. I think her bubbly exterior was just as mask from the antidepressants they gave her. She was very beautfiul, in my personal opinion. She had teal colored eyes and brunette hair," Ayako blinked and stared at Yaten for a moment.  
  
"What about your father?" The joyful smile on Yaten's lips faded as she lowered her eyes to the glass of crystal clear water. She sighed heavily and licked her dry lips.  
  
"My father wasn't all too good of a man. He left when I was around eleven-years-old… Nothing I did was ever right, nothing my mom did was ever right. He told me once to my face I was nothing but a mistake. He basically got my mom pregnant again, and left because he didn't want another mistake I suppose. He never sent any child support money, so until my mom got the wonderful job she had when I left, she had to work two jobs on weekdays, and another job all weekend. I was always alone. He would always slap me around, and call me names…" Ayako bit her lip, suddenly regretting she asked.  
  
"I'm here for you, you know. You don't have to hide things from me. I know when something is wrong, and when something is right in a person. You can always lean on me…" Yaten smiled again and looked up at Ayako's smiling face.  
  
"Thank you…"


	25. Indolore

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 25  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Fallen Seraphim  
_Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com  
_Author's Notes: _Happy Holidays! This part is more 'spiritual' due to the fact It IS Christmas and all. *Sigh* Once I'm done with this I'm going to take a damn nap. My Holy family surrounded me all damn day. *Shudder*  
______________  
  
'When you want it,  
It goes away too fast.  
When you hate it,  
It always seems to last.  
But just remember when you think you're free,  
The crack inside your fucking heart is me.'

  
~Marilyn Manson, "The Speed of Pain"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 25: Indolore  
[ _Painless _]  
______________  
  
Yaten ran her fingertips over the numerous track marks that graced her inner arms. She sighed and sat on the velvety carpet covered step, pulling her sleeve down. "I'll never wear short sleeves ever again…" She looked up and scanned her eyes over the few people who came in a little earlier before the regular ten o'clock mass. Perhaps they wanted to do extra prayer, perhaps they just wanted to feel Holy again, but Yaten didn't like the way they were staring at her so intently. She scowled and pulled her knees to her chest, shutting her eyes. She basked in the multi-color light, beginning to doze off, her breathing steady and even.   
  
"Kou, I could have sworn I saw you sleeping like a baby all night. How can you possibly still be tired?" Yaten's head shot up, and looked up at Ayako.   
  
"I woke up too early… But I have a question to ask of you," Ayako blinked, and nodded slowly in conformation. "I used to go to church on Sundays as a small child, but," Yaten licked her dry lips, not bothering to lower her tone of voice down, "I would always sit there, words being shoved into my head. Every time, after the services were over, I would walk up to the statue of Jesus Christ, our Lord, the Son of God, crucified on his wooden cross. I just felt deep in me, that... It wasn't right. As if people just went into that House of Worship known as a church to be there and listen to the priests drone on for minutes, hours... And after just sitting there in those red, velvet seats, allowing words to just flow through endlessly, they felt Holy. And in the arms of God. It's like they don't even care what the Bible says. They didn't care whether Jesus died for our sins or not. They didn't care whether angels had revolted in the heavens above, and feel to Hell. Is all they wanted to do was sit there and make believe that they were Holy. As if it were a whole worldwide fashion trend. As if they were too cowardly to be Atheists or Satanists or Wiccans or something other than being Christian or Catholic. Because they were afraid they might be prejudged, and their pride and ego with shatter, because they'd be labeled as nothing but absolute pure 'evil'. What is absolute evil? Is my philosophy simply wrong?" Yaten stared intently and evenly at Ayako, expecting an answer.  
  
"I…" Ayako sighed, and sat next to Yaten. "It's not my job to judge your beliefs…"  
  
"I'm not asking you to label my beliefs! I'm asking you if that's what you see! This church is like a complete convent! You see people come and prey everyday! How many people do you see on Sundays that never come sometime during that same week?!" Ayako placed two fingers over Yaten's lips, glaring at her slightly, as she noticed the attention they were getting from the early-comers.   
  
"Answer me something, won't you?" Yaten nodded slowly. "How is questioning the way other people think going to change the way you think?" Yaten scowled.  
  
"I wasn't trying to change the way I think. I was just asking you a few questions," Yaten muttered against the pale, silky skin of Ayako's fingers.  
  
"Don't waste your time. You have greater problems at hand. Like your addictions and your family and this… lover you seem to have. Nobody knows what the absolute form of evil. Maybe it's Satan… The Devil… Whatever you heed to calling Him…. Perhaps the true form of evil is all in here…" Ayako pulled her fingers away from Yaten's lips and put them against the white fabric covering her temple. "Perhaps it is all in our heads. And as for your philosophy… nobody's philosophies are truly correct to humane society. It is within the eyes of philosopher," Yaten blinked and stared at Ayako for a moment, before she stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me," She smiled and ran her fingers through Yaten's hair before she stood and went to speak with the church's priest. Yaten concluded it was probably due to her 'intolerant' behavior.   
  
Yaten grunted to herself and stood from her perched position on the step, to the doorway at the side of the 'Seventh Heaven'* as she entitled such a room. She sighed and walked down the dimly lit hall, eyeing the paintings of Jesus, Michael, Uriel, and Gabriel. Yaten twisted her arm around and put her hand up her shirt, tracing the symbol of the Prince of Darkness that blessed her back. "I almost didn't feel the pain… I screamed at the feeling of bathing in my own blood…" Yaten stepped into Ayako's bedroom, while she retracted her hand from her shirt. "It's almost as if I'm not even human. I can barely feel pain. I can barely even smile the slightest bit. I can't blush. Warmth is even suspended." Yaten shut the door and looked in the body-length mirror that hung behind it, and continued talking to herself. "I look dead. It looks as if my skin is starting to decay even…" She ran her fingertips over the purplish skin under her eyes. "How dare I call myself… human…"   
  
Yaten turned away from the mirror and traveled to Ayako's neatly made bed, pulling up the mattress slightly and using her other hand to pull out the slender dagger she even carried around on the streets as a weapon of defense. "So I can't feel much pain…" Yaten sat on the bed, slowly raising the tip of the blade to her arm. She let out a shaky breath before she slashed herself multiple times, only feeling slight tingling as a result. She growled to herself and dug the blade in deeper, cringing. "I need to feel pain… I can feel it emotionally, but I can't feel it physically. I want to prove I can still like a normal, alive human being. Heroin stole my life from me…" She gripped the handle tighter and dragged the blade from her elbow down to her wrist, the beads of blood that were forming over the slashes beginning to drip down the side of her arm, and fall to the powder white comforter.   
  
Yaten growled and moved back on the bed so her legs were straight out in front of her. She reached down to her feet, a dark expression masking her face. She clenched her teeth together and dug the tip of the dagger into her shin, whimpering.  
  
---------------------  
  
"Do you know if she left that place?" Noir Étoile looked down at Seiya and scowled.  
  
"I'm sorry. Am I supposed to be keeping track of your pet, Asmodee*?"  
  
"Don't call me that. And you're the one that hangs around that city area. You'd think it'd be obvious if you saw her."  
  
"I try and refrain from your co-whore," Seiya clenched her fists, her expression visibly darkening. "It's not my job to pamper your needs."  
  
"I'm not asking you to pamper my needs. I'm asking you to do a favor," Noir Étoile snickered slightly, smirking.  
  
"Last time I did you a favor, you pissed me off extremely by not repaying me for my work and I had to beat you severely," Seiya sighed and closed her eyes, placing her middle and index fingers against her temple.   
  
"Why can't you be kind for once?"  
  
"You suggest looking in a mirror and asking **yourself** that," Seiya cracked her eyes open.  
  
"I think I'll hold you up on that…"   
  
"By the way… Have you seen X or Dragon Tears around?" Seiya turned her back to the tall boy and began walking away, her eyebrows perked in amusement.  
  
"Last I heard they ran away. You know, just to get away from it all. Just them in their own fantasy world of freedom. Please be kind for once and do me that favor also would you? Ta ta for now, sweetheart." Noir Étoile lifted an eyebrow, a questioning look painted across his face.  
  
"You've finally broke you freakin' oneshot slut."   
______________  
  
**Seraph-chan's Encyclopedia/Dictionary/Drug Slang Referral/Explanation Guide/Notes:  
**  
1.) The Seventh Heaven is said to be where God and his angels are seated, if I'm thinking back correctly. **  
  
**2.)Asmodee [Asmodeus is an alternate form of his name] is a demon whom signed a deed on May 29, 1629 that executed him in the Church of the Holy Cross. Asmodee was attested to quitting the bodily possession of a nun. Within the deed (which was in French if I recall correctly) he mentioned other demons such as Amand, Beheria, and Leviatam. The reason I referred to Seiya as Asmodee is because of her possession over the people she supposably loves; the obvious victim in this fic being Yaten. 


	26. Ma Deuil

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 26  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Fallen Seraphim  
_Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com  
_Author's Notes: _I'm very sorry that I've been stalling a lot, in fact this chapter is probably gonna be really short. I've just been under large amounts of stress and pressure with my family, and it's not helping that several of my friends are extremely suicidal and crap and confiding in me with everything. Please understand that I'm very sorry and that I'll try and be a little quicker with my work.   
______________  
  
'My cigarette diet,  
Means my throat hurts like hell.  
My friends say I'm dying,  
But I do it so well.'

  
~Soft Cell, "The Art of Falling Apart"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 26: Ma Deuil  
[ _My Mourning _]  
______________  
  
Yaten dropped the bloody dagger to the floor as she allowed a painful sob to escape her lips. She clamped her eyes shut and looked up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the burning feeling of the cuts in her flesh. The hot tears that dripped down her cheeks making the cuts sting more than they already had. Yaten looks down at her palms, noticing the drops of scarlet that stained the clean skin. She let out a shaky sigh as she laid down on the cold comforter, sobbing in the pillow. "My pain…"  
  
---------------------  
  
Seiya stared bleakly into the mirror, hating the silence that surrounded her. She ran her fingertips over her chest and ran them up her neck. "Lady Caine or Seiya Kou? Who am I?" She traced her lips with her wandering fingertips. "I'm sick of playing this guessing game with myself," She dropped her arm to her side, as she looked to at herself. Her ribs had begun showing and her skin was becoming so pale it was almost gray. As if she had died years ago. She lifted her hands and ran her fingers through her hair. "I once has beautiful, full hair… But now it's limp…" She tried smiling and getting the angry perk from her eyebrows. "I can't smile…? Am I that guilty?"  
  
---------------------  
  
Ayako stared at her door, suddenly feeling a sense of worry and dreariness. She bit her cherry-tainted lip before clutched the cold doorknob and twisting it. She slowly opened her door, gagging slightly at the stench of blood. "What died in here?" Ayako's eyes widened at the small, tattered woman that lay on her bed. Ayako closed her eyes and shook her head, wishing what she was all a dream. She snapped her eyes back open and suddenly felt weak, though she still rushed to the bedside. "Kou! Yaten Kou!" Ayako put her hand against Yaten's shoulder and shook her. Yaten cracked her eyes open and cringed slightly. Ayako growled slightly and grabbed Yaten's other shoulder and jerked her upward. "WHAT IS IT?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! WHAT IS IT THAT IS POSSESSING YOU?! MAY THE LORD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL!!" Yaten opened her mouth only to have Ayako shut it with a slap across her cheek. "Don't you dare give me any more of your white lies," She ignored the blood beginning to pour out of Yaten's cut again as she traveled to her closet and pulled out her nightgown. Ayako traveled back to Yaten's bed and wrapped it tightly around her. "I'm taking you to the hospital. I can't put up with this. I tried to help you, but as I said, you're refusing to help yourself."   
  
Ayako ran out of her room holding Yaten in her arms. Yaten stared lazily up at Ayako, noticing the deep frown upon her face. Yaten closed her eyes and sighed heavily, the gashes and slashes burning worse than they did before; as if it were eating away at her flesh. "Ayako," Ayako scanned her eyes over the multiple rows of seats and the alter, making sure nobody was there.   
  
"What is it?" Ayako ran down the side aisle and pressed her back against the slightly ajar door.   
  
"Can you hear them sing?" Ayako looked down the sidewalks making sure they were as abandon as they were on weekdays and after masses. She clutched Yaten to her chest and began walking.  
  
"Can I hear who sing?"  
  
"The angels. You're there everyday. Have you ever heard them sing?" Ayako stopped walking and looked down at Yaten.  
  
"How can you ask such a question when your life essence is simply flowing out of you?"  
  
"I don't care. Have you?" Ayako swallowed in her throat and looked ahead of her again.  
  
"I can't say I have," She replied softly. "Have you, Yaten Kou? Have you ever been blessed by hearing them sing?" Yaten nodded quickly, as Ayako lifted an eyebrow. "Oh, really? When have you ever heard their sweet voices up in the heavens?"  
  
"When I was in the most extreme pain, and in the arms of bittersweet death. That's when I heard the beautiful angels sing." Ayako was slightly taken aback by the slightly morbid answer, and how it could possibly associated with such a question. But Ayako nodded.  
  
"I'm sure they were singing just to keep you alive." 


	27. Votre Perte De Liberté

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 27  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Fallen Seraphim  
_Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com  
_Author's Notes: _Whee!   
______________  
  
'Can't remember my name,  
Can't remember at all.  
Finding you from past times, I think…  
How did we ever fall?'

  
~Godsmack, "Now or Never"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 27: Votre Perte De Liberté  
[ _Your Loss of Freedom _]  
______________  
  
Ayako sat stiffly in the hospital's waiting room, eyeing the halls for the main doctor that took Yaten away. She sighed and slumped back into the soft plush material, allowing her eyes to slip shut. "Excuse me." Her head jerked up and she rubbed her eyes lazily.  
  
"Yes?" The doctor sat in the chair next to Ayako.   
  
"I have a few questions to ask, if you don't mind," Ayako shook her head. "Okay, what's her exact name?"  
  
"Yaten Kou."  
  
"Her age?"  
  
"Sixteen."  
  
"How do you know her? Or where did you find her?" Ayako stared down at her hands which were resting in her lap.  
  
"She came to me. I stay in the Church downtown," Ayako sighed and continued as the doctor wrote on her notepad. "She was bleeding heavily and she told me she didn't know who she was, or what she was doing. I assumed she was talking of what she doing to herself. She had a lover, so she says, who was the one who originally put gashes into her skin. If you noticed, there are scars from them," The doctor stared at Ayako for a moment.  
  
"You mean those symbolic scars? The one on her front and the one on her back?" Ayako nodded. "I'm assuming you treated those wounds yourself," Ayako nodded again, feeling languished and lazy. "Anything else?" Ayako thought for a moment before she nodded.  
  
"She mentioned herself on being a 'mindless heroin addict'. But I guess I really didn't pay attention to that considering I was too frightened of those wounds getting infected."  
  
"We did find numerous drugs in her system which caused numerous damages," Ayako let that sink in for a moment.  
  
"What damages?" The doctor sighed and pulled out a piece of paper from the folder that was resting on her lap.   
  
"Long-term heroin abuse is causing her to feel less-than-normal pain affects, which you've probably already noticed. Her blood vessels are thinning out do to the injected heroin, and the cocaine ruined her sensitivity to light in partnership with the heroin, and her skin is highly oily. Several amphetamines or any other strong drug pill she's taken – like ecstasy I'm sure - have caused a small ulcer in her stomach, which can be successfully treated. However, it's quite apparent that one drug she took," The doctor took the time out to adjust her glasses. "Methaqualone caused severe hallucinogenic visions and touches and sounds she strongly disliked. I'm surprised she made it through such a withdrawal from it. It's very common for young people who've taken that pill to literally lose part of their mind and go highly suicidal if they don't manage to go insane. It tends to be somewhat popular among teen drug addicts who've taken it," Ayako's eyes widened. "It's highly dangerous and was banned right away after several people had used it just to commit suicide. It causes some people to act sane when around people, yet they act utterly insane and berserk when under pressure, or they may not get exactly what they wanted or expected. I'll speak more with you later of any damages, but for now I still need to ask you one more question. What is your exact relationship to Kou?"  
  
"I was kind of like a guardian," Ayako mumbled the reply more than she had said it loudly. The doctor nodded and put her pen in her pocket and the notepad in her folder.   
  
"You are able to see her now. Though you may not want to see the outfit she may be in, nor the room," Ayako just stood.  
  
"I don't care. I need to know she's all right." The doctor nodded hesitantly before she stood up and led Ayako down the hall, the only sound being made was the clicking of her high-heeled shoes. She turned into another dreadfully silent hall and stopped in front of one of the white doors.   
  
"I warned you though, Miss Ayako, that you might not like it…" Ayako nodded slowly as the doctor opened the door. Ayako peered into the sheer white room. She swallowed heavily in throat.   
  
"Why is she in a silent room? And a straight jacket?" Ayako stared at Yaten's curled up figure in the corner. Ayako frowned a little deeper and rushed into the room and shook Yaten. Yaten's eyes cracked open as she shifted her eyes to Ayako's concern-stricken face.  
  
"Ayako?" Ayako smiled weakly and nodded. "I thought you just left me here." The doctor took in a deep breath and walked into the padded room, closing the door behind her.   
  
"It really wasn't much of a choice to put her in this room and in a straight jacket. We couldn't afford to have her hurting herself again. We gave her some methadone just to hold her over. We didn't want to result in any morphine usage. That's all she was doing when we were examining her. She just wouldn't stop screaming for heroin or cocaine and thrashing around, splitting open several of the slashed in her skin," Ayako nodded and brushed hair from Yaten's face. She sighed and got on her knees next to Yaten.  
  
"What are you doing to yourself?"  
  
"Just need to die. Get away from it all." Ayako's eyes widened.   
  
"You can get help…! Don't give up, come on. You're stronger than that!" Yaten shook her head slowly.   
  
"I give up. I'm in too deep. I don't like what life's been offering me lately." Ayako frowned and unstrained the leather that was strapped to the middle of her calves.   
  
"Please, Miss Ayako, don't do that!"  
  
"How can she possibly hurt herself by **WALKING AROUND THE ROOM PROPERLY**?!" Ayako glared harshly at the doctor and slammed the leg bondage straps to the floor. "This is a hospital! Not an insane asylum! There's no need to treat her as if she's in one!" The doctor sighed.  
  
"I know this isn't an insane asylum. But she needs to be kept here…" Ayako sighed and turned her face back to Yaten who was staring at her absently. Ayako wrapped her arms Yaten and hugged her tightly, Yaten making no attempts of breaking away. Yaten leaned into Ayako, tears beginning to drip down her cheeks.   
  
"I just want to die. Get it all over with. How many times do I have to kneel down and beg to God to kill me?"   
  
"Shh…" Ayako ran her fingers through Yaten's soft hair. "You don't have to beg to die, beg for life. You can make it through this…" Yaten shook her head rapidly. "Please, Kou, stop this…"  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Yes you can. Please…? Stay alive? For me?" Yaten closed here eyes slowly and nodded. "Don't die on me." Yaten whimpered for a moment before her eyes snapped open.   
  
_"…You should have asked me for something. I don't have any heroin at home though. And they don't sell drugs in daylight. At least most of the time." Yaten nodded slowly, closing her eyes. "Just don't die on me."  
  
_"Dragon…" Both the doctor and Ayako blinked. A slow tear trickled from Yaten's right eye. "Dragon Tears… Where are you?"


	28. La Vie et La Mort

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 28  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Fallen Seraphim  
_Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com  
_Author's Notes: _Sorry I'm so late. Midterms were this week, and I had to study like mad. I'm dragging myself out of bed this morning just to get this done.  
______________  
  
'Sign away all of my decisions,  
Choke me when I breathe.  
Too many opinions,  
I gave away my freedom to please you.'

  
~Adema, "Do What You Want to Do"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 28: La Vie et La Mort  
[ _Life and Death _]  
______________  
  
"Dragon Tears…?" Ayako blinked and shook Yaten gently. "What do you mean by 'Dragon Tears'?" Yaten looked up at Ayako, sadness etched across her facial figures.  
  
"He was just a friend, I…" Yaten shifted slightly in her straight jacket so she leaned away from Ayako's against the padded walling. "He's just a nobody." Ayako sighed and reached her hand out to Yaten, only to have the small girl try and curl up further.  
  
"Miss, I think she should be alone…" Ayako sighed and nodded slowly, looking back at the doctor, who was bending down to pick up the leather straps off the floor. "Give her time to think…" Ayako stood up and turned her back to Yaten, slowly walking out of the room.   
  
---------------------

  
"I can't…" Noir Étoile looked at Seiya.  
  
"Can't do what?" Seiya stared at the syringe in her hand and shuddered slightly.   
  
"I don't want to…"  
  
"What is it, damnit? Can't and don't wanna do what?" Seiya dropped the glass syringe to the floor, hearing only the mind numbing shatter against the floor.  
  
"I just can't do it…" Noir Étoile scowled.  
  
"What's gotten into you lately? You haven't been yourself. Lady Ca—"  
  
"Don't call me that." He stared at her for a moment dumbfoundedly. "That's not my name. It never was."  
  
"No, seriously. What's wrong with you?"  
  
"Nothing," she snapped irritably. "Noir, do you even remember your real name? I mean, you were freakin' thirteen when you were kicked out of home. You're what now? Twenty? You've been called 'Noir Étoile' for seven years now. Do you even REMEMBER your name?" Noir stared at her stiffly.   
  
"No. To be quite honest with you, no." Seiya sighed and dug her fingers in her limp hair. "I truly don't give two shits what the fuck my name is, really. I'll be Noir Étoile for the rest of my life, if your fried brain can handle the concept. You know what the means? I was in the past, I am in the present, and I will always be in the future till the day I die. Just like you. What help can you fuckin' get? You say every time that you're gonna stop, that you're gonna get help, but whore, you never do!" Seiya stared at him blankly for a moment. "You never do! You never will!"  
  
"I guess not," she whispered faintly, dropping down into the chair behind her. She let out a shallow sigh and closed her empty eyes, not bothering to deny Noir Étoile of his words. "Someday I'll live…"  
  
"You died a long time ago. No sense in saying you're gonna live." Seiya nodded slowly. "There is no more 'Seiya Kou'. No use in turning back when the damage is already done. Just like Lime Acid. She's gonna die, all because she looked back at 'Yaten Kou'."  
  
"She's not going to die," Seiya mumbled lazily, putting her palm to her temple.   
  
"Sure she is. Between you're abuse," Noir Étoile spoke slowly, allowing Seiya to wince at the words. "And her own brain, she'll fade away."  
  
"What brain?" Seiya scowled, her words tainted and dipped in bitterness. "She doesn't have a brain. She's such a mindless doll." Noir Étoile stared at Seiya in question.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You heard every word I said," she snapped at him. "I don't need to repeat it. She was insignificant. Her pain is all that matters, Noir. That's all that ever mattered."  
  
"But-"  
  
"You think I **LOVE** people?" Seiya tilted her head back and started laughing.   
  
"Never even assumed it." The tall boy dug through his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes and his lighter.   
  
"I use people as whores, Noir, but I never love people. Or I use them just because I'm bored with what's going on in life and I need something to amuse me."   
  
"How are humans amusing?" Noir Étoile muttered the words around the cigarette butt that was loosely fit between his lips. Seiya's eyebrows perked in amusement.  
  
"It's funny how they beg for me not to throw their lives away. As if they have no control of it. As if I was a God, or an angel, judging whether they're worthless or useful." Noir stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to say. "They chose to come to me. I don't come onto them."  
  
"I find that hard to believe."  
  
"You do?" Seiya shifted her eyes to Noir Étoile's body and smirked. "Do you see me as a person who walks up and flirts with the school girls who pass by? Jesus, Noir, I'm a little more graceful than that." He lifted an eyebrow and let out a stream of smoke from between his lips.  
  
"Graceful? You? Don't kid yourself, Lady Caine," He murmured lightly, lifting his cigarette to his lips and inhaling slowly.  
  
"I can be graceful."  
  
"I found Dragon Tears and X, by the way." Noir Étoile lifted his eyes from where they were on the concrete floor and scowled. "And I think I have an idea who killed them."  
  
"Who, hm?"  
  
"You." Seiya put on a mock-shocked look.  
  
"I did not!" Noir Étoile growled and slammed the half-burnt cigarette the floor and slammed his heal on it.   
  
"Yes you did! Who else would have?! The only one who truly didn't like them was you! Everybody else loved them like older or younger brothers. Jesus, what'd they do to you anyway?!"  
  
"That doesn't concern you, my friend." Noir Étoile lifted his hand and smacked Seiya across the face, her head jerked to the right on impact.  
  
"You don't belong in rehab. You belong in the fuckin' insane asylum."


	29. Cassé

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 29  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Fallen Seraphim  
_Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com  
_Author's Notes: _I'm sorry this came so late, but I sincerely needed a break. I've been stressed out more and more lately. Hell, even this chapter is EXTREMELY short.   
______________  
  
'I believed that love was sacred,   
As I dove blindly into her sea.  
You see, that warm embrace felt more like drowning,  
As endless waves crashed over me.'

  
~Stabbing Westward, "Angel"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 29: Cassé  
[ _Broken _]  
______________  
  
Yaten stared bleakly forward as the doctor had pulled down her lower eyes lid and flashed the light into her eye. "Does the brightness hurt your eyes at all, if I may ask, Miss Yaten?" Yaten shook her head slowly in response. "Your pupils are too dilated…" Yaten sighed softly, beginning to get sick of all the examinations and tests.   
  
"Why don't you just **TELL ME** I'm going to die, damnit?" The nurse stared at her oddly for a moment.  
  
"You're not going to die with proper care." Yaten sighed again and stood up from the examination table, the hospital dress slipping off her shoulder slightly.  
  
"I need to make a quick phone call. Give me the phone."  
  
"Please?" The nurse smirked slightly. Yaten ground her teeth together for a moment.  
  
"May I PLEASE have the phone?" The nurse nodded and grabbed Yaten's hand, leading her out of the room and down the hall to the lobby. Yaten jerked her hand away and glared at the nurse before she reached over the counter in the lobby and grabbed the phone, punching in her home phone numbers digits. Yaten ran her fingers through her limp hair and sighed of relief as she heard somebody pick up the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Mom," Yaten murmured. There was a silence on the other end. "Please, don't hang up on me."  
  
"…Kou?"   
  
"Yeah, Mom, it's me."  
  
"I thought you were dead. That's what everybody was telling m-"  
  
"Don't believe everything you hear. Look, I'm at the hospital."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Let's just say I screwed myself up." Yaten moved her shoulder up and held the phone up with it as she picked at one of the scabs on her arm.   
  
"Sweetheart, tell me what happened. Where have you been?"   
  
"The streets. I found," Yaten pulled herself up onto the counter and sat. "I found that life isn't everything but when your next hit of heroin is. I found, trusting people and hoping they're what you imagine doesn't always work. I've found that I've finally lost my mind. You see, when I still lived at home I met this girl who introduced me to a lot of weird shit. When I you kicked me out of home, I found she wasn't all I thought she was. Really hurt me, mom, and I only felt the gashes." Yaten heard her mother gasp quietly on the other end. "This guy I knew, we called him Dragon Tears, pulled me out of her clutches but when he went back to get something to clean out my wounds he got killed or left me there or something, I don't know, if all I know is I'll never see him again."  
  
"Oh, Kou… I-"  
  
"Let me finish explaining. See, my so-called 'girlfriend' tracked me down, and I ran. The only place I found that I could stand to seek any sort of help in was a church, where I met a woman named Ayako. She allowed me to stay there for a while, until I figured out a way that I could possibly help myself. Sooner or later, I ended up slicing myself. That's when Ayako realized I was more than I put myself out to be and rushed me here. I need you to take me home, Mom. Please, I just need to go home and pretend nothing ever happened. Send me to rehab or something, I don't care what happens to me, just bring me home," she pleaded.  
  
"Fine, Kou. Just, please, calm yourself. I'll be there soon. I promise."  
  
"You aren't lying to me like everybody has?"  
  
"No…" Yaten smiled lightly.  
  
"Thank you so much," she murmured.  
  
"Just hang in there," her mother spoke gently before she hung up the phone. Yaten gripped the phone gently – barely having any strength to begin with – and set the phone back down on the receiver. She sighed softly and closed her eyes, leaning against the white plaster wall, the receptionist behind the desk smiling slightly. 


	30. Jamais Parole 'Désolée’

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 30  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Fallen Seraphim  
_Author's E-mail:_ KittenXanax@aol.com  
_Author's Notes: _Blargh. I'm sick again. Oh well. I'm home all week due to illness so I decided to write (I can never sit still and when I'm doped out I tend to feel like an idiot, and I just don't like that.)  
______________  
  
'Caught up in life,  
Losing all my friends.  
Family has tried;  
To heal all my addictions.'

  
~Adema, "Giving In"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 30: Jamais Parole 'Désolée'  
[ _Never Say 'Sorry' _]  
______________  
  
_"Where is she? Where did you take her?" Seiya glared coldly at the uncooperative nun, clutching the black cloth of her robe tightly in her fists. Ayako closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.  
  
"I don't know who you're talking about," she murmured.  
  
"Bull shit! Tell me!" Seiya pushed her fists down on Ayako's chest, the other woman getting pressed further against the wall.  
  
"Fine, but you have to promise, swear on the Holy Bible and in the name of God and the Holy Spirit that you won't dare to hurt her anymore. She's already hurt enough." Seiya loosed the pressure against Ayako.  
  
"I won't hurt her anymore."  
  
"You told her that before, yet you did anyway. I remember you when you a pure and innocent little child, KouKou," Seiya blinked at the use of the childish nickname. "What happened to you?"  
  
"Just tell me where she is, please," she pleaded. "That's all I want. I don't want memories."  
  
"They'll come back…" Seiya clamped her eyes shut.  
  
"Bull. Just tell me where is! I don't want to have to ask again!" Ayako sighed.  
  
"At the hospital down the street in room three hundred and four." Seiya nodded and let Ayako go completely, walking steadily out of the church, ignoring the several other nuns staring at her. She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself and she stepped out on the sidewalk.  
  
_"May I help you? Miss, are you all right?" Seiya rubbed her eyes and shook her head, snapping herself out of her own little trance.   
  
"Yes, I'm here to visit a patient named 'Yaten Kou'," she muttered sultrily and lamely, feeling quite languished and tired. The nurse nodded.  
  
"I need your name." Seiya blinked.  
  
"My name?" The nurse tilted her head to the side and stared at Seiya quizzically.  
  
"Yes," she replied. "Your full name."  
  
_"My name?" The gang lord lifted an eyebrow. "Lady Caine."  
  
"No. I mean your actual name."  
  
"My name…" The older man scowled.  
  
"Idiot, it's not that hard."  
  
_"S-Seiya Kou," she spoke. It felt so foreign to say. The nurse smiled and turned her back to Seiya.  
  
"You both share the same names. Different last names, but the same first names. What a coincidence. Are you a friend?"  
  
"A-Ah." Seiya followed the shorter nurse as she walked down the hall, her heels of her shoes making a dull thud against the tiles, and it was merely the only sound.   
  
"You seem so tired and skittish. Are you all right?"  
  
"Yes, I'm fine." The nurse stopped at one of the doors, smiling.   
  
"She's right in here. She was in a silent room for a few days to avoid her from hurting herself, but she seems stable now." Seiya nodded and grabbed the doorknob as she thanked the nurse and nodded for her to go. The nurse gave Seiya one final smile before she walked back down the hall in the direction in which she came. Seiya took in a deep breath and twisted the door knob, opening the door slowly.  
  
"What is it **this time**? Pumping me full of more meds or do you just wanna cut me open again?" Seiya blinked. "Answer me!" Yaten turned her head from the window and gasped. "Wha…"  
  
"Don't be alarmed."  
  
"Why are you here? The doctors said that they'd allow my mother to pick me up from this place as soon as my rehab is over. You can't drag me away again, like you did so many other times in other situations." Yaten glared slightly at Seiya.  
  
"I-"  
  
"Why waste your breath?"  
  
"I'm sorry I hurt you! I didn't realize what I was doing until I got it over with!" Yaten gave her a desperated look.  
  
"You told me sorry then too. But you still continued to hurt me, or at least try and hurt me." Seiya locked the door and moved to Yaten's bed, sitting down. She ran her eyes over the skin exposed from the flimsy hospital 'dress'.  
  
"I didn't create those slashes on your arms. Legs. On your cheeks. On your forehead. On your wrists. On the side of your neck. Who did?" She waited for a response, only to be given silence. Yaten lowered her eyes and sat on the window sill.  
  
"…I did."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I didn't feel human," the pale, frail looking girl murmured. Seiya bit her lip to avoid laughing.  
  
"Seriously, Lime Acid, you should know better. You're supposedly smarter than me, but not even I would think like that." Yaten sighed. "So you're healed? No more cravings, none of that shit?" Yaten hesitated before she shook her head. "Why don't you speak?"  
  
"Because I'm afraid I'll say something wrong."  
  
"I changed slightly." Yaten looked into Seiya's sapphire eyes. "I'm realizing more and more that I am simply not the person I used to be, that I am the not the queen over mankind even though I wish I was, and I am simply **hopeless**."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"Noir said something very useful," she said as she took a moment to yawn at the same time. "He told me that every time I say I'm going to get help, I never do." Yaten stared. "And that I never will. And you know what? He's right." Seiya stood up and walked to Yaten, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl. "You've known that all along haven't you? I'm feeling lonely, Lime Acid," she murmured.  
  
"I…"  
  
"I need you here with me."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Shhh…" Seiya weaved her fingers into Yaten's silvery hair. Yaten bit her lip and ran her fingers down Seiya's side, slipping her hand in one of her trench coat's pockets. Seiya blinked and looked down at Yaten's saddened face.  
  
"You torture me."  
  
"What are you-" Yaten pulled out of Seiya's grasp, syringe in her hand. Seiya bit her lip.  
  
"It would be hyprocitical of me to tell you not to do it. You lied."  
  
"You lie just as much." Yaten yanked the cord off of the window blinds and handed it to Seiya. "Tie that around my upper arm." Seiya stared at her for a moment. Yaten just growled a reply. Her raven-haired 'companion' reached over to Yaten's side and tied the cord tightly around her upper arm.  
  
"Just do it." Seiya turned her back to Yaten, briefly wondering why she would give up the concept of 'freedom'. Yaten swallowed heavily in her throat, eyes travelling down the small dots on her arms from past syringe needles. She clamped her eyes shut, pressing the tip of the needle down into the bright blue vein on her inner elbow. "Once a heroin addict, always a heroin addict. And once they find they can finally be free, they can't seem to get away from the feeling of that single rush. And if they do stop, they end up eventually dying faster than everybody else from the damage it caused. True, isn't it?" Yaten jerked the cord off her arm, and smiled gracefully, as her mind seemed to go numb and heart rate increased.  
  
"Unfortunately so." Seiya looked over her shoulder and glanced at Yaten again, turned herself fully around to face the quivering girl. She reached out and grabbed the syringe from Yaten's hand, putting it back in her pocket.   
  
"You can't do this anymore," she murmured. "And neither can I, really." Seiya dug her hands in her pocket, pulling out three syringes. One now empty, the other two filled, pulled out a razor, a glass pipe. She looked in her other hand that consisted of small squares of rainbow colored paper and small package of white powder. "Look what I'm doing to myself. Took me years to finally understand it though. I'm a little slow, aren't I?" Yaten simply stared at her bleakly. Seiya scowled slightly. "It wasn't that damn high in purity."  
  
"It just feels a little better," Yaten muttered lamely and she sat down on her bed, closing her eyes.  
  
"Please don't go back to what you were. I even hate myself now. Be as free as a bird again instead of shackled to a deathly fate like me. Don't do this to yourself…" Seiya sighed shallowly and sat next to Yaten. "Just forget it all happened. Help yourself…"


	31. "Dans nos pensées..."

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 31  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Ashma Daeva  
_Author's E-mail:_ BloodStainedAngelWings@yahoo.com   
_Author's Notes:_ I'm baaaaaaaack…_  
_______________  
'And who can say when the day sleeps,  
If the night keeps all your heart?  
Night keeps all your heart...'  
  
~Enya, "Only Time"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 31: "Dans nos pensées..."  
[ _In our thoughts… _]  
______________

  
"Help yourself…" Yaten looked up at Seiya with her eyes half-lidded, looking as though she were going to fall asleep at any moment. Seiya lifted her hand and Yaten winced, half-expecting a slap or harsh smack. She closed her eyes and sighed as she decided it was useless to back away, and to just except the way things went. Seiya put her hand on Yaten's cheek and ran her thumb over the smaller girl's cheek.   
  
"W-What-"  
  
"Too sensitive. It'll get yourself killed someday."  
  
"And so will your attitude!" Yaten opened her eyes and glared weakly at Seiya. "Someday people won't accept your violence…"  
  
"Shut up," Seiya growled. She dug her hands in her pockets and pulled out everything made of glass that were used with drugs. "I can name a few, and I don't feel like getting into it. Plus, who says I have a 'someday'?" Yaten blinked as Seiya took a syringe into her hands and snapped it in half, the liquid inside spilling on the floor with small particles of glass.  
  
"What are you implying?"  
  
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." The raven-haired girl picked up a glass pipe and lifted it up, smacking it down on the bed's railing. Yaten moved her feet to avoid the glass from slashing her feet, and she stared blankly at Seiya. "Yaten Kou, you are to **STAY HERE**, do you understand? You have to get **HELP**, and you will go home and you will** LIVE**." Yaten winced slightly at Seiya's harsh tone of voice. "Understand?!" Yaten nodded hesitantly.  
  
"What's gotten into you?" Seiya shook her head and dropped one of the glass vials containing cocaine to the floor, stamped the heel of her platform boot down onto it.   
  
"You're so lucky," she murmured. "You're not too far down into the pit…"  
  
"Pit…?" Yaten's vision blurred for a moment before she slowly lifted her head and wiped at her eyes.   
  
"But if you keep going this road, you will be. And you'll find that you're fuckin' scared to close your eyes, 'cause you're afraid! Afraid of never seeing the light of day ever again! You'll find you have two halves to yourself. One that wants to be fuckin' free of drugged shackles and the other that just wants the drugs, and you know what? That half that makes you want those drugs overpowers that 'good' side you have!" Yaten stared at Seiya in shock. "You expect to die! I can picture my funeral in my head if anybody would give a shit!"  
  
"Lady-"  
  
"Don't speak! Don't address me as such! You know why you're lucky?" Seiya stared coldly at Yaten.  
  
"No. Why am I so lucky…?"  
  
"Cause you have a mother that's willing to accept you as her daughter! Your mother is willing to give you a second shot at life! A second shot at being a 'normal' young girl!" Yaten felt tears welling in her eyes and she lifted her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.   
  
"And who says you don't?"  
  
"Because my mother is dead." Yaten stared, not knowing what to say. "My father refuses to accept me. Says I'm dead. Stop taking your chances for granted for once, KouKou. I don't have chances like you! I don't have any future to live up to!" Seiya lifted her hand a smacked Yaten across the face. "I don't want you to ever see me ever again!" Yaten swallowed heavily, tears dripping over her cheeks as she lifted her had to rub her reddened, slapped cheek. Seiya stood up and walked to the door, looking over her shoulder. "When you go through withdrawal, don't you dare call me. Call for doctors who can take care of you instead." Yaten didn't say anything; her breathing just remained shallow.   
  
"Seiya, please…"  
  
"Don't 'please' me. Stop fooling yourself, Yaten." Seiya dug her hands in her pockets and walks out of the door, biting her lip in the faintest feelings of regret.


	32. Rêves Dans L'insomnie

__

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 32  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Ashma Daeva   
_Author's E-mail:_ BloodStainedAngelWings@yahoo.com  
_Author's Notes: _None.  
______________  
  
'It's time to laugh, it's time to cry,  
It's time to be what you need to be.  
It won't be long 'till they are gone,  
And we can be what we want to be.  
I'm gonna run from everything,  
Everything that holds me down,  
Nothing to win, nothing to lose.'  
  
~Vast, "Free"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 32: Rêves Dans L'insomnie  
[ _Dreams in Insomnia _]  
______________  
  
_In order to spare everybody around me…  
  
_Seiya stared numbly at the building in front of her. She sighed heavily and lifted a shaking hand to push stray strands of black hair behind her ear.   
  
_I cannot live in freedom, because my freedom is making people suffer. Making people die. Making people bleed. Making myself suffer, die, and bleed.  
  
_Seiya inhaled a thick breath of the crisp air and walked to the entrance door. She put her hand against the cold glass and pushed, the noise flowing to her ears. Seiya clenched her fists at her side, wondering briefly if the whole situation was worth it. "Can't turn back now," she murmured to herself. 

__

I could just kill myself instead… That's like being a true coward, though. Time to face my results…  
  
"Excuse me," Seiya said as she rested her hands on the counter in front of her. The woman from behind the desk looked up at Seiya and smiled.  
  
"May I help you?"  
  
"Yes," Seiya took in a deep breath to calm down her racing heart. "I…"  
  
"Miss, are you all right?" The women stood up from her chair and looked at Seiya. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Yes," Seiya spat out. "I… I have someone to report to you." The woman frowned and sat down, getting out a pad and a pen.   
  
"If you can give us proper infor-"  
  
"No, no, you don't understand." Seiya looked at her pleadingly. "It's me, damnit!" The woman stared up at Seiya as if she had lost her mind.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I'm reporting myself!" The woman officer stared at Seiya flatly.  
  
"This isn't a place to pull pranks…"   
  
"I'm not!" Seiya frantically dug through her pockets and pulled out a few vials of whitish-tan powder and one remaining syringe filled with a dark brown, syrupy substance. She slammed them down on the counter and grabbed a large, circular, plastic tube and slammed it on the counter as well. "I'm possessing illegal drugs," she said sultrily and she threw her trench coat back away from her hips, grabbed her gun and put it on the counter. "I'm possessing weaponry under a legal age, and **KILLING** people mind you…"  
  
"Wait, wait. Calm down, I ne-"  
  
"I can give you exact locations of where those carcasses are rotting, where I sold drugs, and all that shit! You have to believe me!" The woman walked out from behind the counter and grabbed Seiya's wrist, jerking her into a seat.   
  
"What's your name?"  
  
"Seiya Kou."  
  
"Wait here." Seiya shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself. Her mind blocked out all sound except the faint clicking of the woman's shoes on the hard, polished tiles on the floor. She closed her eyes, wishing briefly that sleep would catch her, considering that methamphetamine had been keeping her up for literally days.   
  
"Seiya Kou, is it?" Seiya opened her eyes and looked up at the police officer, nodding slowly. The other officer beside the one who spoke to her was putting the substances in plastic bags, butting her gun in a plastic bag. "I'm Officer Vitanza*, come with us, would you?" The officer made a brief motion to his colleague. Seiya stood up and followed them silently as they walked down the dimmed hallway. _What a relief to my fuckin' eyes. _Seiya lifted her hands and rubbed her eyes in a tired and exasperated fashion. The officer opened the door to his office and held it open for Seiya as she erratically walked past, staggering in her footing. "The first thing I'm going to ask of you is that you take a drug test. It's obvious you had the substances on you, however, there are people who sell drugs but don't actually use them for themselves. If you don't show up with any drugs that's less charges put on your life, though I doubt it'll worm your way out of most."  
  
"Then what's the point if I do or don't? I don't care what happens to me."  
  
"You'll take the test later whether you like it or not. Now we need your fingerprints and general information." Seiya nodded. "You're name is Seiya Kou. How old are you?"  
  
"I'm sixteen."   
  
"How exactly did you get into drugs?" Seiya stared for a moment bleakly.  
  
"Friends. Party. That's all I can vaguely remember." The officer gave Seiya an odd look.  
  
"When the last time you slept?" Seiya lifted her hand and counted her fingers, holding up three. "Three days? Three hours? Three weeks? What?"  
  
"Days," Seiya grunted and sank back further into the chair. She sighed lazily and leaned her head back into the chair.  
  
"You drug deal, correct?" Seiya nodded. "Are you a 'lone' dealer, part of a national ring, or an international ring?"   
  
"Just individually. I deal when people ask me for the drugs." The officer nodded and wrote it down.   
  
"Do you have any specific addictions?" Seiya shook her head.   
  
"I just jump from drug to drug. My body never gets addicted to shit."   
  
"Have you ever took part in **manufacturing** drugs?" Seiya hesitantly nodded.  
  
"Which ones?"  
  
"Ecstasy, GHB, methamphetamine, and crack cocaine." The officer sighed and nodded. "Not to mention I've grown opium poppies, the illegal form of cannabis plants, and," Seiya sighed before she continued. "Coca plants that I've sold to cocaine manufacturers."  
  
"Any other information, fellow drug dealers, habits you'd like to share?"  
  
"I teach people how to use drugs for cash, I killed five people, and there's this guy named 'Noir Étoile'. He has some major deals nationally. He's twenty years old and he lives down the street or some shit. He has black hair and green eyes. Go hunt him down if you want, I don't give a shit." The officer stood and sighed.  
  
"Follow me." Seiya made an attempt to stand up, only to sigh in defeat. She tried again and stood up, the world around her spinning. She clutched the officer's desk for support, putting her other hand to her head. "Are you all right?" Seiya shook her head, only to find that made her situation. She clamped her eyes shut, feeling she was going to vomit. The officer stepped to her side and wrapped his arm around her, helping her walk to the door. Seiya looked over her shoulder and stared at his desk, her eyes landing on the pictures.  
  
"You have children?" The officer nodded.  
  
"Why does that matter to you?" Seiya shrugged.  
  
"Just do me a favor," she murmured.  
  
"I'm not going to let you go. Remember, you found us."  
  
"That's not what I wanted," Seiya groaned out. "Just… never forget your children are alive, until you get solid proof they're dead." The officer stopped and glanced at Seiya. "Lock me away, sentence me to prison, hell, give the fuckin' Death Penalty, I don't care. Just assure me you'll save your children." The officer nodded slowly and continued walking, almost dragging Seiya by now. "Thanks," she muttered before she closed her eyes and allowed herself to slip into the comforting darkness of sleep.  
______________  
  
1.) Officer Vitanza… I'm sorry, I used an actual Officer I know who consistently arrests me and makes my life hell. 


	33. Belle

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 33  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Ashma Daeva   
_Author's E-mail:_ Exael@antisocial.com  
_Author's Notes: _Must. Keep. On. Track.   
______________  
  
'I am every fucking thing, and just a little more,  
I sold my soul, but don't you dare call me a whore.  
And when I suck you off, not a drop will go to waste,   
It's really not so bad you know, once you get past the taste.'  
  
~Nine Inch Nails, "Starfuckers, Inc."  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 33: Belle  
[ _Beautiful _]  
______________  
  
The officer lifted his hazel eyes and stared at Seiya, who was barely keeping her eyes open. "Why did I do this to myself?" she asked to nobody in particular.   
  
"Drug tests tend to be very difficult to judge of anybody's drug uses," the officer said after he sighed and put the paper down. "Some drugs take a mere two **days** to filter through your system – such as heroin, while others like marijuana will take up to two **weeks**. And for all I know, you could've downed several bottles of cranberry juice you got the vending machines to keep your results as a minimum." Seiya sighed and simply nodded. She found that if you just nodded they don't harass you as much.   
  
"But I didn't, thus whatever's on that sheet are your results, pal. I don't prefer shit like heroin, anyway. I merely sell it." Seiya looked down and fidgeted with her coat sleeve. "What exactly showed up?"  
  
"Methamphetamine, marijuana, phencyclidine, lysergic acid diethylamine, and 2C-B, a form of more-potent methylenedioxymethamphetamine otherwise known as Ecstasy to you." Seiya stared blankly. The officer sighed in frustration. "Don't you know ANYTHING of these drugs before you take them?" Seiya shrugged and shook her head.  
  
"I don't know your scientific shit. Is all I got out of that anymore is 'marijuana' and 'Ecstasy.'" The officer scowled and dug through his head some common street terms.  
  
"We found speed, weed, angel dust, LSD, and Ecstasy. Happy?" Seiya nodded. "It's still considered a large amount of drugs, however. And all of them are very well illegal. The speed you took was manufactured by yourself, I'm assuming." Seiya nodded again.  
  
"When can I go home?"  
  
"You're not going home for a while." Seiya stared bleakly.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You're being tried as an adult. For murder in the name of drug dealing, drug stealing, and some so odd 'instinct' you said you had, organized crime, drug manufacturing, drug dealing, and illicit drug usage," he said.   
  
"But I'm a minor!" The officer shook his head, and stared at Seiya.  
  
"If it were unplanned murder, maybe you could have weaseled out of it. However, you did it intentionally. You were the one that killed a good number of people with not only a gun but also once with a deadly pill, and even set up two young men with someone you lured into your trap. The only way you can truly get out of this is if some sort of doctor claims your mentally insane and had no clue you were doing all the damage. But even if that happened, you wouldn't spend your time in neither a prison or your home, but the psychiatric ward." Seiya leaned over and dug her fingers in her hair.  
  
"That isn't funny."  
  
"I'm no joking. I actually quite serious." Seiya shuddered, suddenly feeling quite ill.   
  
"Oh, God… What have I done?" The officer stood up from his chair.  
  
"Get up. You're coming with me."   
  
---------------------

  
Michiko glanced at Yaten who was smiling brightly. She bit her lip and pushed pale blue hair behind her ear. "Kou, I'm so sorry I acted so irrationally… It hurts to look out the window and ask yourself if you own daughter is alive and dying of addiction or dead and rotting." Yaten glanced at her mother.  
  
"Don't worry of me. I'll be fine now."  
  
"It's natural of me to worry, though," Michiko said as she drove down the street. Yaten looked out the car window, wondering briefly of all the police and medics surrounding an alleyway. She frowned and squinted, recognizing the three with their hands against the wall.   
  
"Mother, stop the car! Right now!" Michiko's eyes widened and she stepped on the brake.  
  
"Kou, what are you do-" Yaten shook her head, her hair falling in her eyes. She swung open the car door, and ran out.  
  
"Excuse me!" Two officers turned around and frowned at Yaten. She panted lightly, and looked up at them. "I know these people. May I please see them?" She pointed at Noir Étoile, Rei, and Minako.   
  
"I'm sorry, miss, but we ca-"  
  
"Please?!" The two officers glanced warily at each other, before hesitantly stepping aside, letting Yaten through. Yaten pushed past them, and stopped in her footsteps. She stared at Noir Étoile who was still being searched as Rei and Minako were handcuffed and shoved into police cars. He glanced over his shoulder and scowled, glaring at her.   
  
"Lucky whore," he muttered. The officer that was searching him placed the skinny syringes in a plastic bag and nodded in assurance as he pushed Noir Étoile to a police car. He gave Yaten one final look as he was pushed down and seated. Yaten sighed, a twinge of sadness lingering in her breath. Michiko rushed to Yaten.   
  
"What are you doing?" she hissed. Yaten looked up at her sadly and simply wandered down the alleyway. She didn't stop when she saw the medics gently laying down bodies into two separate body bags. Michiko frowned a little deeper and walked in trail of her petite daughter.   
  
"Excuse me," Yaten said weakly, her stomach protesting against the smells of death and decay. The medics looked up and stared at her.  
  
"May we help you?" Yaten nodded hesitantly.  
  
"Who are they?"  
  
"We haven't identified them yet," one of the medics responded.   
  
"But I have a feeling… I know who they are." One of the medics stood up from her crouching position and stepped over the blue, thick plastic. She took off her mask and held it out to Yaten.  
  
"If you can help us, than give it a go. Though they look older than people you would hang around with," Michiko opened her mouth to protest but the medic smiled at her in reassurance that absolutely nothing was going to happen to Yaten. Michiko sighed and crossed her arms. Yaten put the mask over her mouth and nose, pulling the elastic band over her head. She walked to the human-sized thick plastic cases. She bit her lip under the mask and looked down, her stomach clenching in disgust of the dead corpse.  
  
"Oh God, Dragon Tears." She closed her eyes and reopened them, wincing to herself in disbelief and disgust. She glanced at the medic. "I don't know his real name," she started. "But I did know him. He went by a nickname of 'Dragon Tears'." The medic nodded and noted it in her head. Yaten glanced painfully at the carcass one more time before walking to the other body holder.   
  
"Look like anybody?"  
  
"His name was Ken," she said flatly. "I don't know his last name… But his name was Ken." The medic nodded, giving Yaten a pitiful look. Michiko sighed and run her fingers through her hair.   
  
_What in Hell's name has my daughter been exposed to? _She thought sultrily.   
  
Yaten pulled the mask from her face and held it out to the medic she received it from. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you more in the slightest, but that's what I knew of them. Nobody calls anybody by their real names on the streets, so I adapted to 'Dragon Tears' and 'X'. Good luck," she said as she waved her hand in goodbye and turned her back to leave. She walked out of the alleyway and to where her mother's car was parked. She stopped in front of the car door and stared at her reflection for the briefest of moments. The past image of innocence was mocking her deep in her mind, versus the reflection that stared straight back at her in the glass. The reflection of corruption, guilt, and mutilation.   
  
"Koukou?" Yaten sighed and looked up at her mother.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Is something wrong?" Yaten simply shook her head and opened the car door, stepping inside. Michiko bit her lip and opened her own door, gracefully slipping inside. "Doesn't seem like nothing. You know I can't live with the concepts of 'nothing'."   
  
"Well," Yaten started, crossing her arms. "Then start living with it." She leaned the side of her forehead against the car window, her eyes scanning the outside through the corner of her eye. Michiko sighed heavily.  
  
"With every second you're around you always give me something to worry about," she said quietly. Yaten simply ignored her and murmured to herself.  
  
"Once a heroin addict, always a heroin addict, so she said. Always a heroin addict…" 


	34. Pendant la Nuit

Disclaimer: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon does not belong to me.  
_Rating:_ **R**   
_Part:_ 34  
_Warnings:_ Yuri, drug abuse, swearing, murder, physical abuse, AU  
_Pairing:_ Seiya x Yaten/Yaten x Seiya   
_Author:_ Ashma Daeva   
_Author's E-mail:_ Exael@antisocial.com  
_Author's Notes: _Delayed. Delayed. Delayed. Stop rubbing it in already. ¬.¬  
______________  
  
'So this is where I say goodbye,  
This is where my story ends.  
And if there is one thing,  
I've learned from life,  
It's that it gets you in the end.'  
  
~Stabbing Westward, "Goodbye"  
______________  
  
**Of Crows and Doves**  
Chapter 34: Pendant la Nuit  
[ _During the Night _]  
______________  
  
"Perhaps I'll end up dying sooner, perhaps I'll live perfectly. I suppose the saying 'ignorance is truly bliss' has its point," Yaten murmured. She sighed and put her pencil down in the trench between the pages of her notebook. She lifted her hand and rubbed her temple.   
  
"Koukou, I'm dying to know some things," Michiko said, putting the polish porcelain teacups within the cupboards.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Was it really your choice? When you were out there, did you ever stop and consider that maybe… just maybe, what you were doing to yourself was wrong?" Yaten sighed flatly and looked down at her hands.

"At first… no, it wasn't my choice. And for your information," she said bitterly. "I thought it was 'beyond wrong'. I thought it was my damn death wish. But as long as it made me feel good, who gave a crap?" Michiko sighed and put her hands down at the edge of the counter.   
  
"How did it possible make you feel good?" Yaten almost laughed. The ironic thing was, she didn't truly know herself, so she simply shrugged.   
  
"Why does it matter now? I'm putting up with school and being home."  
  
"Sometimes, Koukou, you make it sound like you want to slip away sometimes," Michiko said, her voice making the slightest of a waver. "That girl that got you into it all got some very heavy charges, you know."  
  
"Who truly cares?" Michiko turned her head slightly and stared at Yaten.   
  
"Yaten Kou, get rid of that street attitude right now. I don't need any more snide remarks from you than the ones I started out with before you left." Yaten simply shrugged lazily. Her mother blinked when she heard the doorbell ring. "You stay right here. I'm not don talking with you yet." Michiko walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway. She sighed and opened the door, blinking at the police officer before her. "May I help you?"  
  
"We've identified these belongings as your daughters, ma'am." Michiko nodded slowly and grabbed the box from the officer who held it out to her. The officer nodded and turned his back to Michiko. Michiko bit her lip and moved her foot behind the open door, closing it with a small kick. She walked into the kitchen, putting the box down in front of Yaten.  
  
"What's all that?"  
  
"Stuff they found of yours." Yaten stood up from her chair and reached for the box. She picked up articles of clothing and numerous bandanas, putting them down on the table. She blinked when she saw the neatly folded piece of paper lying upon he cardboard box. She bit her lip and picked it up, unfolding it. Her eyes skimmed over the rather neat script writing. "It's not even addressed to anybody specific…"  
  
_Maybe it's too late for you.  
Maybe you're in too dead.  
Sometimes I think you're killing yourself, but in the end I realize… I too, am killing me.   
Whatever was given to you in life, you deserve so much better. Whatever you can do to help yourself, grasp it and don't let go. Because only now do I realize that I can't even do so much as that, and I don't want anybody else going through what I have. I used to think life wasn't fair, and I used to think that it didn't matter whether I lived or died.  
Perhaps, sometimes, I regretted everything.  
But even regret gets you nowhere. Only a will to find a way gets you beyond invisible shackles. And I simply don't have that.  
  
~Dragon Tears  
  
_Yaten smiled, "'Only a will to find a way'… Thank you Dragon Tears. And although you're gone, I promise you I'll keep some sort of will. And for you, I'll get rid of those shackles. And just like you wanted when you were alive with X, Seiya did get in some horrid trouble. That includes a long time in a prison, mind you." She folded the letter neatly and put it in her pocket and turned to her mother. Michiko lifted an eyebrow at the smile on Yaten's face.   
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm sorry. And you know… I will get rid of that 'street attitude'." Yaten shook her head. "I'm home now. I don't need drugs, alcohol, or even the slightest twinge of that attitude. I just want you to know how much I'm sorry." Michiko smiled.  
  
"You promise?" Yaten nodded.  
  
"I'll take a beating from my own body," she murmured. She raised her voice and locked her gaze with Michiko's. "But I promise you that."


End file.
